You are my angel
by Bad one
Summary: Natsuki dies,but she doesn't leave this world.She becomes Shizuru's guardian angel and what is more important,no one remembers her.What will become of Shizuru's and Natsuki's feelings? Can they be together again?
1. Prolouge

Well what can I say. It is my first drama fic which I write in English. English isn't my first language, so please forgive me for mistakes and my pour language. I will be very greatful if someone could become my beta. Now about fic.

Yeh, yeh you caught me. The main idea for my fic, especially for epilogue was taken from ** ficeler37** fic. **ficeler37 **please forgive me, but your idea was pure gold. I couldn't resist (dreaming eyes),but I really had that kind of idea before I read your fic. I really hope that my next chapters won't be similar to someone's and that you will enjoy them too. Dear readers I promise that my next fic will have my own idea, if to be true I already have an idea. I only need to work on details. One more time sorry. If dear **ficeler37 **is against my idea then I will change the beginning and other parts in my next chapters. I will make everybody to remember Natsuki XD I have ideas for both paths of my fic. So it is you my dear readers, who have to decide.

Thank you!

P.S. I decided to write this fic, because I wanted to see sequel for **ficeler37** one. But she didn't write it, so I decided to make my own version.

Disclaimer: Mai Hime doesn't belong to me and if it did, then I would make more series and more ShizNat XP

* * *

Epilogue

'What can I say, it is already a year after carnival. That damn carnival! No, wait… It wasn't so bad. Yes, I have to admit… I'm glad that the carnival happened. Maybe someone will think that I'm crazy, because during carnival we Hime had to kill each other. But I'm grateful. If it wasn't carnival… I wouldn't know about her feelings… about my feelings. I would never find out who is my most precious person. But now I know it… and I'm grateful from the bottom of my heart. Yes, at first I didn't accept her feelings. I was scared of them… I didn't know what to do, because till that day no one cared about me… no one loved me… And now I have you by my side.

Sometimes I still wonder why? Why did she chose me? Why does she love me? If to be correct, why did she fell in love with me in the first place? I was cold person… Everyone at school called me Ice Princess and they were right. My heart really was made from ice back then, but you melted it… Shizuru. You melt the ice in my heart and broke the walls around me. Walls which were protecting me from this cruel world, from this pain… But I still was in pain, the horrible pain of lose and betraying was inside of me. Even when I built all these walls around me, around my heart. I promised myself that I won't believe anyone and I failed… Suddenly you appeared in my life and everything changed. I wasn't alone anymore. Yes, at first I tried to scare you away, to make you leave. But you didn't give up. You always moved forward, I didn't notice when you became a part of my life, a part of me. You were always teasing me and you still do it now (smiles to herself). I couldn't and I still can't imagine my life without your teasing… without you, my dear Shizuru. You were my best and only friend, but now you are something more for me…

Yes, it took me some time before I accepted and admitted my feelings to you. At first I was scared. I didn't know what kind of feelings do I have towards you. But after some time and talks with my friend and you, I discovered the real meaning of my feelings… I wanted to make you happy, to see your charming smile at your beautiful face. I wanted to protect you, to be always by your side when you needed me, to be part of you. Yes, Shizuru… I love you… You cried back then when I admitted my feelings towards you. You thought that it was another dream, but I took you in to embrace and quietly whispered into your ear "It isn't a dream, Shizuru… But if it is a dream, then I don't want to wake up…"

Finally we were happy… You are obviously wondering why I said "were". Yes, we are still together, but it won't last for a long time… I should graduate this year, but I won't… Not because I will have to repeat the year all over again, no… The problem is, that I won't be able to survive till this day, till my graduation… Yes, you heard me right. I'm dying… How dramatic, isn't it? I survived the car accident, escaped from First District and even survived the carnival where I and others Hime should die. But I survived it and now I'm dying… Dying when all problems were solved and when I finally found my happiness. I hate this world, but most of all I hate my illness which is slowly killing me from inside. Yes, I'm sick. I have a cancer which can't be healed…

Now I'm lying in hospitals bed and you are here, sitting next to me, smiling at me with that innocent smile. Your beautiful red eyes full of tears and love are staring at me, your hand is gently caressing mine. So soft and warm…

When everybody found out about my illness, they were shocked. No wonder, because I was shocked more than they. Everybody told me that I have to go to the hospital, but I resist until that unfaithful day… I came back home after school and sat at the couch watching TV and then my illness gave sign of it existence… My heart was aching and I began to cough. The blood ran out of my mouth and I fell… I was found on the floor by Shizuru who came back from university. We were living together. She was frightened till death. No wonder, if it was me who found Shizuru in the state like this I think I would have an infarct. It seems that she is braver than me. I always knew that she is better than I (smiles again). Shizru called to the hospital and ambulance was send after me. While we were waiting it arrival, Shizuru was kneeling next to me with my head on her leaps. She was crying…

Two days have passed and everyday I was feeling worse. Yes, the end was near… But I wasn't frightened, because all these time you were near me. You were here day and night. You were scared to leave, even to the bathroom… You were scared, that I will pass away if you leave. Forgive me, but it seems that I really will leave this world… soon, very soon…'

"Shizuru…" I tried to speak.

"Natsuki, please don't say anything. You don't have to loose your strength" tears began to run down your face and it ached my heart. I don't want to see you sad face, your tears especially if they are because of me. I hated myself for that.'

"Forgive me, but I have to say it before I pass to another life…"

"Don't say it, I won't allow you to leave me. Not now, when we are happy together"

"I won't leave you. I will always be by your side. I will protect you no matter what"

"Natsuki, please…"

"Forgive me if I hurt you, during this time…"

"You didn't hurt me… You made me happy and if you will stop speaking and begin recover the strength, then you will make me happier"

"I love you, Shizuru…"

"Don't say it like you are saying goodbye to me…"

I smiled and then I heard the words which meant whole world to me "I love you too, Natsuki" and she kissed me gently on my lips.

The day was over and the moon was shining in the dark sky. Shizuru was sitting in her chair next to me and laying her head on my bed. She was sleeping and I adored her. And then I saw the light… The bright light which appeared in the sky. The window slowly opened and an angel entered my room. Angel was dressed in white clothes and large wings were seen on its back. The bright light was coming out of its body. Angel turned to me and smiled.

"It's time, Kuga Natsuki." The angel said calmly.

"I don't want to leave her, to make her suffer."

"But you don't have another choice, you have to leave her."

"But maybe I could stay here as a ghost?" I asked a little bit nervous.

"Only people with unfinished work can stay in this world."

"And I have it… I have to protect Shizuru, I promised her."

Angel smiled "Yes, you are right. You can stay here, but before that you have to go with me"

"Why?"

"There is something that we should do before you stay."

"I see…"

"Is there something else that you would like to do before we leave?"

"Well, yes…" I wasn't sure if it was right to ask. Who knows, maybe they don't have such a power.

"And what will it be?"

"Could you make them to forget me?"

At first angel was surprised, but then I think it understood me and smiled to me again.

"Do you want them to forget you? Do you want them to believe that it was someone else who died today?"

"Yes, I want them to imagine that it wasn't me, but someone else. Someone who wasn't so close to them… to her" I looked at Shizuru.

"But if they will forget you, how will you be able to protect someone who doesn't even remember you…"

"I could be her angel… her guardian angel… Is it possible for me to become her guardian angel?" I asked and my heart began to bit harder. Well I'm not sure if it was a heart, because I'm already dead. But something was biting for sure.

"I think it is possible, but you will have to ask it to Him.

"Do you mean God?"

"Yes."

"Can I meet him?"

"If you will come with me then yes"

"Then I'm coming with you, but before that…" I bent down and kissed Shizuru on the cheek for the last time(you can't call it a kiss, because I'm already a ghost), well I hoped that it wasn't the last one and that God will allow me to stay here with her. I stood up from my bed and looked back. There I saw my dead body and her… my dear Shizuru. I smiled and turned around.

"Are you ready?" asked angel and give me its hand which I accepted.

"Yes." And we left…

For my happiness, God fulfilled my wish. I could stay with Shizuru and protect her. I could become her guardian angel. He also fulfilled my second. From now on, no one will remember me. My body was changed as my friends memories. All pictures which we had where changed. The person named Kuga Natsuki was deleted from this world. But it is the place where my journey begins. It is the place where our forgotten love will sparkle again….

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So what do you think now? 


	2. New life

Hi there! It is my second chapter. I said sorry about idea in first one, but I will repeat. Yes, the idea about memories was in ficeler37's fic, but I also had this kind of idea before I read her fic. It is not my fault that someone already made fic like this. But she has a oneshot... I will be very glad if she will continue her fic and other works, because I really like them. But today we are talking about my work. So here is my next chapter and you have to decide what do you want to see next. Do I have to continue or should I rewrite chapters first (thet means everyone will remember Natsuki as it is in a real world)

**chatterbox-hikaru13** I understand that ypu are angry, but don't you think that all authors use someones ideas? Lets take for example our famous Harry Potter. There is a lot of different books which are similar to it (in some books even names are similar!) , but people like them and I don't. I don't like people who stole others ideas and become famous. But I didn't stole anything. It just happend that we both had the same idea! As I already said, if readers and author are against it then I will rewrite it, because I have ideas for both storylines.

Thank you for your attention!

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Chapter 1

New life

It was two months after Natsuki died, well not exactly Natsuki. As you remember all memories about Natsuki were changed and it wasn't she who died, it was someone else.

The weather was nice and the warm sun was warming the young girl who was walking in the street. The girl had brown hair and sparkling, red eyes. Yes, it was Shizuru. She was dressed in a white blouse and black skirt. Tow, long legs were seen from under the skirt. On her feet were black boots with hatpins and black bag was seen on her right shoulder. Shizuru was passing by flowers shop when she stopped. She turned her head into stores direction and after some thinking she decided to enter it. When she came out, she had a flower(the same which Natsuki wanted to crush) in her hand. Her eyes were staring at the flower which was not far from her face. Shizuru closed her eyes and smelled it. The smell was sweat. After some time, girl opened her eyes and moved on. She wasn't walking to long, before she heard familiar voice calling for her. Shizuru turned her head.

"Ah, Mai-san. It is nice to see you again. It was a while when we saw each other last time."

"Yes, you are right Kaichou-san. It really was a long time" said smiling Mai who was moving towards Kyoto beauty.

"Mai-san please stop calling me Kaichou-san. As you remember I'm not Fukas Kaichou-san anymore. So please call me Shizuru"

"Then call me Mai too"

Shizuru smiled in reply.

"What a beautiful flower" said Mai looking at the flower in Shizurus hand.

Shizuru also looked at the flower and smiled again. She pulled flower up and also looked at it.

"As I remember it was her favorite one" answered brunet in a low voice.

"Oh" Mai sighed.

"I was going to visit her... Do you want to join?"

"Sure"

And so they walked. The silence fell between them. Girls slowly crossed the street and went further. And here they were. They stood on the pavement and in front of their eyes was cemetery. They stood there for some moment before entering it.

The graveyard was big. A lot of graves were seen. Some graves were really old. Girls passed some of them and then stopped. Before their eyes was grey grace tomb with wolf picture on it. Girls stood silently, looking at grave tomb. No muscle of their body was moved and silence fell between them once more. Shizuru decided to be the first who moves. She went closer to the grave and put the flower on it. After that she went back to red-haired girl.

"She really liked these flowers"

"Well, I didn't know her very well. But as I heard she was a good person. You were friends, right?"

"Yes, we were. We weren't very close to each other, but I cared about her. I was really sad when she died."

"I understand. I also would be sad if Mikoto or someone even closer to me died."

"You know what..." said Shizuru in a low voice, not moving her eyes from the grave "Sometimes I have a feeling that these flowers have some kind of strength."

"What do you mean?" asked Mai moving her gaze at Shizuru.

"I'm not sure, but when I look at these flowers, at the garden in the school. When I breathe it scent I have a feeling that this flowers are more important to me than I think. Forgive me. I'm saying foolish things today."

"No, of course no. If to be true I also have some strange feeling about some things. "said Mai smiling.

And again no words were spoken. Two pairs of eyes were looking at grave and one pair of eyes was looking at them...

* * *

Natsuki was standing not far from her grave. She was hiding behind the tree. She turned her head away from girls _'How foolish I am_' Natsuki smiled to herself _'they can't see me. Why am I hiding? Am I scared to face her? Or maybe I'm scared about her memories. About that she doesn't remember me and that I won't be able to see a love in her eyes? But it was my wish... wasn't it? I didn't want her to suffer._' Again turned her head in girls direction _'She is beautiful as always. No, she is much more beautiful than she was before. I'm glad that she isn't pail and thin like she was after hearing about my illness. I'm so happy to see you again. It was a while.._.' 

Natsuki slowly went out from her hiding place and moved towards girls. Soon she was standing behind their backs 'I wonder what kind of name do I have' and she looked at writings on the grave _'Sango? Not bad, I thought it will be worse'_. Then her gaze slowly moved on Kyoto beauty, her lover.

"Shizuru..." Natsuki whispered and slowly moved her hand in Shizurus direction. Her fingertips were almost touching girls hair when she heard her voice.

"Brrr... It is somehow getting cold" she whispered.

"Cold?" asked Mai and Natsuki at the same time.

_'What was I thinking? Of course she will be cold. I'm a ghost! It seems that I hurt you again. Maybe I shouldn't stay with her?_'

"Yes cold, but it was pleasant one. I don't know how to describe it, but for some moment I felt... safe." Shizuru smiled.

'_Does it mean that she liked it? Well maybe it wasn't a bad idea after all..._'

"By the way" said Mai "The graduation ceremony is near. Would you like to come and see it?"

"If I don't mistake you are graduating this year. Am I right?" asked Shizuru and looked at Mai who was now looking at her.

"Yes, you are. So will you come?"

"Well, if you ask. But when exactly will it be?"

"Oh, it will be next friday at about 16:00 PM."

"I will come for sure"

"Thank you"

"No, thank you for invite me"

"Your welcome"

_'Graduation... I also should graduate with Mai this year. Unfortunately it will never happen... But it won't be so sad if you will be by my side' _Natsuki smiled and looked at Shizuru._ 'What am I saying? She can't be by my side now. It is my job to be near her, to protect and comfort when she is sad. Shizuru, I won't leave you... I'm your angel from now on...'_

"Forgive me, but I have to go now" said Mai looking at her watch.

"Well, I have to go too. It was nice to meet you Mai. See you at your graduation"

"It was nice to meet you too, see you at graduation, bye!

"Goodbye"

After saying goodbye to each other, girls turned around and went in different directions. Natsuki followed after Shizuru. The brown-haired girl left the graveyard and went back to the city. It was becoming dark, so Shizuru decided to go back to her house. Natsuki was still behind her.

'It was a long time ago, when I last was walking here. Hmm, I wonder where is she going."

Soon Natsuki found herself in front of a big house _'Don't tell me that she is living here_' thought Natsuki with a big opened mouth.

The house was really big. It had three floors and a lot of big windows. The house was surrounded by a big garden and not far from the house she could see a big pool.

While Natsuki was appreciating the house, Shizuru had already entered the gates and moved towards it doors. Raven haired girls ghost quickly went through the gates and ran after her lover. Soon she found herself inside of a big house. From the inside it looked bigger than from outside. A long, red carpet was lying under her foots. Natsuki tried to find the end of the carpet, but it was useful. Carpet really was a long one. There not far from the enter door she could see stairs. The railings were cut from the red tree and were made in a snakes form. After some looking around, Natsuki followed after Shizuru upstairs. Now she was in her bedroom. It was very large. The queen sized bed was placed not far from the window, which curtains also were red 'It seems that Shizuru likes her eyes color. Well, who wouldn't'. Natsuki found herself looking around once again. She was watching paintings at the wall before her eyes caught something more interesting...

"What the...!" shouted Natsuki looking at Shizuru who was unbuttoning her blouse. "_Oh my God! What is she doing?!"_

"Did you call me" asked someone's voice.

"Oi sorry, I forgot about that rule" said Natsuki and looked down.

"Mortals... you never change" said God.

"But could you take me away from here?" asked Natsuki who began to blush _'I didn't know that ghosts can blush_' she thought.

"Well you are not exactly blushing, but..."

"Hey! How many times do I have to ask you to not read my minds.

"Gome..."

"Ok, I forgive you, but can you make me disappear for some time?"

"Why should I?"

"Are you blind? Don't you see what she is doing right now?

Shizuru had already unbuttoned her blouse and Natsuki could see her big, shape breasts in a sexy, white bra.

"As I see, she is going to take a bath"

"Exactly! I can't stay here or I will become a pervert!"

"Forgive me, but it was you who decided to become her guardian angel, so I can't help you here. It is your duty to always be by her side. Bye"

"No, wait! You can't leave me! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!" shouted Natsuki, but God didn't appear "Damn you!"

"I still here you"

"Oh shut up now!"

After that Natsuki turned her head in Shizurus direction and then quickly turned it away. Now Natsuki could swear that her head will explode. Shizuru had already taken of her skirt. Natsuki quickly turned her head away.

"Oh no..." said Natsuki looking at the mirror in front of her.

As you know ghosts can't be seen in the mirror, that means Natsuki still could see half naked Shizuru behind her back.

"Ara, it is really hot in here" said Shizuru taking of her bra.

The hot steam was coming out from Natsukis ears. It seems that the night will be long.

* * *

Mini feed. 

Shizuru: How cute -reads about Natsukis last expression- I would like to see it.

Natsuki: What?! Hey I'm not a teapot!

Bad one: Really?

Natsuki: What do you mean by that? -glares-

Bad one: Nothing, absolutely nothing -tries to keep a laugh-

Shizuru: -giggles-

Natsuki: What's wrong with you people?

On Natsukis back "I'm a teapot, please make me hot"

Shizuru: Natsuki if you want, I can make you really hot right now -playful smile-

Natsuki: Wh-what do you mean?

Shizuru: Na-tsu-ki...

Natsuki: Sh-Sh-Shizuru, mate! SHIZURU! ... Ah!

Yes, Natsuki definitely is hot right now.

* * *

So what do you thinkl? Sorry about humor in the last part, but as I told I'm more like humor author. Now about my fics future. Now you have to vote about what do you want. Do you want me to continue or do you want me to rewrite chapters first? 


	3. Lover

Hi there! As I understood the main part of readers is for continuing, so here is the next chapter. I didn't have any good ideas for this one, so I made it more humor than drama. Hope it won't be a problem. You can call it like relaxing one, but I promise to make another more dramatic.

**chatterbox-hikaru13** Well at first this link I found month or two ago. I began to write fics not long time ago and as I said my English isn't good and year ago it deffinetly was worse than now. At first this kind of idea I had with other movie, but when I sam Mai hime I decided to write with ShizNat (and Mai Hime I saw only this summer). If you don't believe it's your problem. Don't like don't read. I can't say anything else.

**  
ficeler37** Thank you very much for allowing me to continue my story. I hope to not dissapoint you and other readers and I hope that someday you will continue your own work. Sorry for bad feeling in stomach XD and thank you for fiding a mistake, I'll try to correct it ;)

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Chapter 2 

Lover

Yes, the night was really long back then and all others days too. Natsuki had to go with Shizuru whenever she went. Even to the bathroom! _'Don't look in her direction you pervert!'_ Right now Natsuki was in the bathroom with Shizuru who was taking a shower, cold one… The temperature in the bathroom was so hot, that poor brown-haired girl couldn't take it anymore.

"Ara, why is it so hot in here? First of all I thought it was mine imagination, but it lasts for some days now. Maybe it's conditioners fault?

"I really wish that it was a conditioner" wished Natsuki with turned back and closed eyes "That woman can make me blush even when she doesn't see me!"

Natsuki's hall body was red and hot. No wonder that Shizuru was hot too. Soon the water stopped falling and blue-haired ghost froze. _'Great! Now she will be walking half naked before she will find clothes. Stop! How do I know that? Natsuki you pervert! You were still watching her!' _While Natsuki was frightening with herself, Shizuru already left. _'Hey! I don't feel her presence! Did she leave?' _Natsuki quickly opened her eyes and looked around. Realizing that girl wasn't there, she also went to the room.

The towel which was covering girl's body lay on the floor, whileKyoto beauty was dressing. Natsuki immediately turned around. _'Thanks to the skies that she won't be walking half naked again'_ thought Natsuki remembering previous days. Shizuru really liked to walk around in the towel after a good bath and shower. During this time she liked to lie on the bed and read a book using different poses. Every time when Natsuki saw her, steam immediately came out from her ears and nose, making her ghost existence to isolate the warmth. The room became very hot and Shizuru didn't have anything else like to lie nude. Remembering it, Natsukis face grew red. '_Aaaa! I'm really a pervert! What kind of thoughts do I have! Especially when I can see a real one…Nooooo! I will kick my ass for sure and throw my perverted head somewhere very far!' _During another Natsuki's fight with herself, Shizuru was already ready and was heading towards the door. The ghost noticed it and followed after her.

* * *

Soon Natsuki found herself and Shizuru in The Fuka University. Shizuru entered the classroom and greeted everyone with her adorable smile. Everybody smiled back. After some time teacher entered the room and lesson began. Natsuki as always stood near wall observing her lover. Smile always found its place on ghosts face. After some lessons it was launch time and as always a lot of fan girls were around her dear Shizuru_. 'Don't worry Shizuru. Soon I will find the way how to get rid of these crazy bitches.'_

"Hey Fujino-san" came mans voice.

'_Not him again! Well at least I can safe her from him.'_

A guy with black, long hair which was tied up in ponytail, was coming in Shizurus direction. He had a tray full with food in his hands and smile crossed his face as he saw Kyoto-beauty. It was the same smile which made a lot of girls fell into his trap.

Natsuki didn't know him very well, but after what she saw during these days made her hate him. She couldn't loose this chance. She was going to hurt his pride. She quickly ran towards him and put her leg in front of him. As she hoped, the guy stumbled and fell. His head landed at the food on his tray. Everyone laughed and Natsuki smiled with wide smile. _'That will teach him a lesson.'_

"Ara, are you alright Yusuke-kun? asked Shizuru looking at him.

"Yeh, I'm fine. Hmm… It tastes good!" answered the guy, licking his face.

"Good to know. Oh it seems that I have to go now, goodbye Yusuke-kun" said Shizuru and left café.

"Hey, Shizuru mate! I need to talk to you!' said guy running after her.

But before he could leave café, door shut down just in front of him hitting his nose. The guy fell back, screaming in pain. _'Oops, I think I broke his nose.'_

Shizuru stopped at the sound and turned around looking at closed door. '_Maybe it's my imagination, but for some time I feel that somebody is looking over me.'_

* * *

Finally came graduations day. Shizuru as always got up early in the morning to take cold shower. During all these days, Natsuki still didn't use to see naked Shizuru _'It's not right! I can't observe her when she can't see me. Its definitely will turn me into a pervert' _After a shower the brunette girl lay down on the bed and began to read a book. After some time she got up and dressed. _'I really need to call a mechanic' _thought Shizuru while dialing number on the cell phone. 

"Hello, can I speak to Souta-san?... Hello Souta-san! How are you?... Great!... Oh you see it's very hot in my room and I thought that maybe it is because of conditioner. So I would like to ask you to come over and check it… Great, at what time will you come?... It seems that I won't be home at that time, but my maids will let you in… It was nice to speak to you again, bye." The girl closed her cell phone and moved towards the door. '_I wonder who is this Souta? Oh well… Shizuru always had a lot of friends' _Natsuki sighed and followed after her lovely girlfriend.

During the day Shizuru was walking around the city waiting for the right time. If to be correct she spend all her free time in the park appreciating fine weather and beautiful sigh. Natsuki as always was by her side '_I never thought that walking in the park could be so interesting. It would be even better if I was alive'_ Thought Natsuki sitting with Shizuru on the bench. The weather was hot and the sun was pleasantly warming brown-haired woman's body. The feeling was so good that Shizuru lift her head back, showing her smooth neck to the sun stars. _'Beautiful as always…' _

Soon the time came and Shizuru went to the flower shop. The shop was very big and different kinds of flowers were seen there. Shizuru passed them by and than stopped. In front of her eyes was beautiful bouquet with a lot of flowers. Not thinking too much she bought it and went to the Fuka School. After some walking she was there. A lot of people came to see the graduation ceremony and in the crowd of people she met familiar faces. It was her old fan club.

"Kaichou-san!"

"How are you?"

"We are so glad to see you again!"

'_What?! Again these crazy bitches! When will she have a brake?! I promise Shizuru, I'll save you from them as soon as possible! Oh! I have an idea! I'll be back!' _thought Natsuki and quickly disappeared in the crowd.

"Ara, I'm not Kaichou anymore" smiled Shizuru.

"Gome, but we are still very glad to see you again!"

"How nice of you"

* * *

During this time Natsuki was walking through the crowd. I mean it! She was walking through peoples bodies and for her surprise no one of them felt cold. But she didn't have time to think about it. Her only mission was to save Shizuru from that crazy crowd. 

"Kuga, when will you stop using these shameful words?" came the voice from nowhere.

"Aaaa!" screamed Natsuki jumping in the air "Don't scare me like that!"

"Sorry, but why did you leave Shizuru alone? Are you already bored from her?"

"What?! NEVER!!! I just want to save her from these crazy…"

"Ahem…"

"…crowd" finished Natsuki and looked around "There she is!"

"Who?"

"It's not you business. Better go and look after someone else."

"Ok, ok… Don't be so angry or I will cut your wings"

"What? But I don't have wings!"

"You know what I mean"

"Ok, I'll try my best."

"Fine" it was His last word.

'_He left, finally! Ok where is Mai now? Oh, there she is!'_

There somewhere in the middle of the crowd stood Mai with her boyfriend Tate and best friend Mikoto. They were smiling and obviously chatting about something interesting. _'Mai is so lucky to have them both by her side… It's bad that I can't be by Shizurus side like this anymore… But I will be with her no matter what and at the moment she needs my help. Ok, now I have to find something to get their attention. Oh, isn't that Mais favorite handkerchief!' _In one of the Mai pockets was seen blue handkerchief with red roses on it. Natsuki quickly ran towards Mai and took handkerchief out of her pocket. From the distance it looked like wind pulled it out. Mikoto was the first one who saw flying shawl.

"Mai your hankerchief!"

"What? Where? Oi! Come back here!" shouted the red-haired girl.

'_Geez Mai! You didn't change a bit, how on earth will it come back to you? Of course if I won't help it.'_

Finally the girl began to run after it and so did others. Running some distance, Natsuki stopped not far from Shizuru who was still surrounded by her fan club. Before putting shawl on the ground, raven-haired ghost checked if Mai was still running after her. For her great pleasure she was.

"Got you!" screamed Mai catching her handkerchief.

"Mai?" asked surprised Shizuru.

"Oh, Shizuru! It is nice to see you again."

"Well didn't I promise that I'll come?"

"Of course you did! I'm sorry"

"You don't have to"

"It seems that you have a company"

"I was just going to leave"

"Goodbye then Fujino-san, it was nice to see you again" said leaving fan girls.

"YES!" shouted Natsuki clenching her fist in front of her.

"Ara, it seems that graduation ceremony is going to begin in ten minutes" said Shizuru looking at her watch.

"Then we should to hurry, oh Mikoto. Please take Shizuru with you."

"Ok" said smiling Mikoto and took Shizuru by her hand "Come"

Shizuru just smiled and followed after her little friend. Also smiling, Natsuki followed after them. Soon they entered the school. The graduation room was already full and everybody were sitting on their places and waiting for the ceremonies beginning. Mikoto quickly passed some people and found two chairs which were still free.

"I found two chairs! Come Shizuru!" shouted Mikoto pulling Shizuru after her.

"I'm coming" said Shizuru and sat down by Mikoto.

Smiling wider Natsuki looked around. It seems that nothing has changed during these 3 months. Yes, three. Natsuki spend one month in hospital before she died. Then she looked at the stage where students already sat. In the first line she could see Mai and behind her Tate, whose hand was on girls shoulder. There not far from them sat Yukino who was shy as always. Looking through all sits she found that one wasn't occupied. _'I wonder who is missing?'_ thought Natsuki and began to count all students. She froze _'No way! Is this… for me?' _Yes, the free chair was left for the student who passed two month ago. Something ached in Natsukis ghost body. She didn't know what to think or do. Her whole body was filling with happiness. '_I never thought that thing like this could make me so happy…'_ Thinking for a while she mowed towards her sit. One of her hands touched the soft chair '_It's a pity that I don't feel it'_. Smiling she sat down. The warm and pleasant feeling ran though her existence. _'It seems that I still will be able to graduate' _she could swear that if she wasn't a ghost she would cry.

"Dear ladies and gentlemen" was heard Fumis voice "Today as you see our students are going to graduate. A lot of years have past and a lot of students have already left the doors of our school. Now it is your turn" she said facing students "We wish you success in your future lives and hope that you won't forget us. But before I start ceremony let remember one of our student who passed two months ago. It was a big tragedy for everyone, lets pray for our dear Urashimo Sango…"

'_I almost forgot about my new name'_ Natsuki smiled and looked around. Silence, that was everything that she heard. Everyone at the ceremony were keeping silence to show their respect to gone student. Even Mikoto was quiet, what made Natsuki smile wider.

"And now…" Fumi continued" let our ceremony begin!"

* * *

After some speech, students were called one by one. Everyone of them got their diplomas and applauses were heard. When ceremony ended, everybody went outside to talk to each other and say 'goodbye' for the last time. Natsuki, standing in the middle of the crowd, was turning around to see everybody's faces. Somewhere not far from her she saw Yukino with a big bouquet of roses which Haruka gave to her. In the other end she saw her smiling friend Mai who was surrounded by many people. Some of them were Mikoto, Tate, Chie, Aoi and other former HiME. Soon to their group joined Yukino with Haruka and Shizuru. 

"My congratulations Mai" said Shizuru and gave her bouquet to Mai.

"Origato, Shizuru" answered Mai and hugged her friendly.

"My congratulations to you too, Yukino" facing shyly girl continued Kyoto-beauty.

"Thank you, Kaichou-san"

"Ara, how many times do I have to repeat. I'm not Kaichou anymore, so it will be Shizuru."

"Gome, Shizuru" answered Yukino and also smiled.

"Hello dear, Shizuru" came the male's voice from the crowd "and my congratulations to you too Mai, Yukino…"

"Dear?" asked Natsuki looking for voice owner "It can't be her…"

* * *

So, what do you think? 

P.S. I uploaded new fic lately, so while you are waiting for next chapter you can check it. But I have to warn you, Shizuru isn't very nice person there...


	4. Voice

Hi people! Here is the next chapter and I hope that you will like it more than previouse one. Because as I can tell from your reviews you didn't like last one. As I promised this chapter is more dramatic. Hope you will enjoy it. Sorry for my English, if you will find any mistakes tell me ; )

* * *

Chapter 3

Voice

PVC Natsuki

"…lover?"

There in the middle of the crowd I saw Kanzaki Reito… He slowly moved through the crowd and smile as always was seen on his face. I looked at Shizuru and froze… Smiling, she moved towards him and hugged. Not letting him go their lips pressed in gentle kiss. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to scream and run away. I wanted to hit Reito so hard, that he would fly to Afrika. _'What is wrong with me?! Shizuru is a free being and it is she who has to decide with whom to be! Besides I'm dead and she doesn't even know about my existence… She doesn't know that person like Kuga Natsuki has ever existed in this world. But it was my wish. I didn't want her to suffer. If she is happy with him, then I'll be happy too.' _But seeing them kissing didn't make me feel better. I think I will need some time to use to it.

Finally they broke the kiss and hugging each other tighter, Shizuru spoke first.

"How was your trip to France? And how did you find me?"

"Well isn't it Mais graduation today? I think it was logical to come here and find you" he smiled while caressing Shizurus hair "And trip could be better, if you were by my side" he kissed her on top of her head.

"I was really lonely without you. Besides why didn't you call me to tell when you are coming back?"

"And ruin surprise? I thought you know me better. Especially when we are similar"

Shizuru just smiled what made me feel worse. Not because she was happy, no… I feel bad, because it isn't me who makes her happy. And I never be able to do it again… But I still will be with you no matter what. I won't leave you ever again!

"Oh, stop bugging each other already! It is Yukinos and Mais graduation today!" said Haruka crossing hands on her chest.

"It is 'hugging' Haruka-chan" corrected Yukino.

"That's what I said"

"She will never change" I smirked and was very glad that someone got Shizurus and Reitos attention. _'I sure will need some time to use to them' _I thought while looking at two lovebirds, who now were staying by each other side, hugging each other on the waist.

"Forgive us Suzushiro-san" apologized Reito.

"How many times do I have to tell you that Haruka is fine"

"Gome" he smiled with apologizing smile.

Haruka just smirked.

"Oh, ones more happy graduation Mai and Yukino"

"Thank you Reito" answered Mai and Yukino in one voice and then laughed.

"And you too Tate"

"Thanks… so what are we going to do now?"

"How about karaoke?" exclaimed Mai.

'_Yep, you really didn't change Mai' _I smiled looking at my innocent, karaoke fan friend.

"Not again!" protested Tate.

"What do you mean by that?" Mai made angry face.

"I like karaoke!" shouted Mikoto.

"Good girl" said Mai and patted Mikoto on her head.

"Ok! I give up!" shouted Tate pulling his hand up in air.

"Great! Are you coming with us?" asked Mai facing other friends.

"Well, you invited me so I'm with you till the end" smiled Shizuru "Can Reito come with us?"

"Sure! Haruka, Yukino?"

"Well…" started Haruka.

"With great pleasure" ended Yukino.

"But I didn't say 'yes' yet!" protested blond haired girl.

"So you won't come with me?" Yukino made sad face.

"What?! No way I'm going to leave you in such a big day!"

"Thank you Haruka-chan" Yukino gently smiled at her best friend.

'_Yukino, you have been in Shizurus company for too long! You are such a teaser as she!'_ I thought looking at smiling brunette.

"We all are coming!" exclaimed Midori putting her hand on Mai's shoulder.

"Great!" Mai only smiled when everybody nodded in agreement.

* * *

It was the first time when I was glad to be a ghost. Everybody who came to karaoke as always should change into stupid outfits and sing a song. I was dieing from laughter, if it is even possible, when I saw Nao in Playboy bunny outfit singing 'I'm Barbie girl'! Two long, white ears were seen on her head and a little fluffy tail on her butt. She also was wearing strip thighs and black corset. I couldn't help it. Naos angry and flushed face made me fell on the floor. She never will stop to make me laugh. I still wonder how did she agree to come here?

Everything was fantastic, till… It was Shizurus turn. With Mais agreement she could sing together with Reito, who was making all his best to not come onto the stage. But Shizuru never gives up and finally Reito agreed. Soon on the stage came Reito dressed as soldier and after him came Shizuru. I froze when my eyes began to analyze every part of her body which was wearing now long, red dress which perfectly showed her figure. Everything that I could was admiring her. The song began and they started to sing. Now, I really wanted to be the one who was standing near Shizuru and singing with her. '_I can't believe that I want to sing and wear stupid uniform'. _The song was called 'Listen to your heart' by Roxette, which made me to want to be alive even more. How hard it wasn't, but I have to admit. Their singing is really good. I always knew that Shizuru is a good singer, but I never thought that Reito is good singer too. It seems that they really make a very nice couple. After this thought, pain appeared in my chest making me to turn my head away from them. The song ended and I heard whistles. I turned around, but I think better would be if I didn't. Shizuru and Reito were in a thigh embrace, passionately kissing each other. _'I have to bear with it. She has got new life now and I'm not in it. If you are happy, Shizuru, then I'm happy too' _Some seconds later, they broke the kiss and letting each other went back to the changing room.

* * *

It was about eight o'clock in the evening when people began to separate. Midori, drunk as always was dragged by Nao who was cursing everyone. She still remembered her first meeting with Midori as a HiME. Back then Midori was going to through out on her. The memories made me smile. Waving goodbyes to each other, my friends went into different directions. Mikoto saying goodbye to Mai went together with her best friend Nao, who was trying not to fall under teachers weigh. '_How sad that you can't hear me Nao. I would gladly make fun of you now' _and throwing my last glance into their direction, I followed after my dear Shizuru who was still in Reitos embrace. '_I wonder, how much time I will need to get used to them'_.

After karaoke, they were just walking around the city and talking about different staffs. As I understood from their conversation Reito visited France, because of families business. After some walking he asked Shizuru to the restaurant. She only nodded in agreement. Soon we found ourselves in a big French restaurant, which was full with customers. I looked around, but didn't find free places. '_I guess they will have to go to another restaurant'_.

"Ara, it seems that they are full"

"Don't worry I have already reserved a table for us" he smiled waving to the waiter.

"Really? You never stop surprising me" Shizuru answered and poked his nose. He only laughed.

"Can I help you?" asked waiter.

"Yes, I have reserved table at name Kanzaki Reito."

"Ah, yes. Please follow me"

After that we followed after waiter. '_I wonder where he is taking us. I don't see any free tables_.' For my surprise, he took us to the stairs. Could it be that Reitos table is on balcony? Not stopping waiter went upstairs and we after him. Soon we found ourselves in front of big wooden door with golden handles and outlines.

"Have a nice evening" and with this words, waiter left.

"You have reserved table on the balcony?" Shizuru asked.

Reito only nodded.

"Why?"

"You will see" and not saying a word, he opened the door.

A big balcony with round table in the middle appeared in front of us. The balcony was really big and some musicians were seen not far from the table. As soon as we entered, romantic music was heard. On the table lay white table-cloth and two candles. Shizuru slowly moved to the table and gasped from the view which she saw. There behind the table was a beautiful view of night city.

"What a nice view"

"Yes, it is. But I have to admit. You are even more beautiful."

"Oh stop it Reito"

Not saying a word they approached towards the table and sat down. I stood by Shizurus side watching night city. Slowly I turned my gaze at Shizuru. '_I have to agree with him. Nothing can be compared with your beauty'._ While I was appreciating her, waiter came to the table. He gave them menu and kindled candles. Bowing his head, he left.

"What are we celebrating today?" asked Shizuru looking in to the menu.

"How about my return?"

"Yes, you are right" answered she reaching for his hand, which find its way to hers.

Once more I turned my head away. It was too painful to look at them, when they were so close and happy. How I wish to touch her, to feel her… While I was thinking, waiter came back. With corner of my eyes I looked in their direction. Still holding each other and not leaving each others eyes they made their order. The waiter wrote everything down and left two lovebirds alone, well if not counting musicians and me of course.

After good meal and talks, Reito asked her to dance. Shizuru always liked dancing, so she happily accepted his purpose. I hated myself, while watching them dancing. Shizuru asked me to dance with her many times, but I always rejected her. I never liked dancing and I was really bad in it. But now I would give everything for this… for dance with her… Lowering my gaze at the floor I sighed.

"Shizuru, we know each other from childhood, don't we?" I heard Reitos voice, but I didn't care.

"Yes" I heard Shizurus soft voice.

"And we are dating each other for two years…"

That definitely got my attention. I raised my head and stared at two, who were hugging each other while dancing. '_Two years?! But I died two months ago! Could it be that Shizuru was cheating? No, she would never cheay on me. Maybe… I can't believe that He changed their memories so much!'_

"That's why…" he continued pulling back from Shizuru. _'I wonder what he is planning'. _Better I didn't think that. Right then and there Reito knelt in front of her while looking for something in his pocket. Shizurus eyes widened as she pulled both hands to her mouth. _'Please no that, not now… I'm not ready yet'_ But it really was what I thought. Not leaving his gaze from her he pulled out a little, black box from his pocket.

"Shizuru…" he spoke "You are the most charming woman whom I have ever met. A lot of people would like to kill me after that, but I don't care. You are my most precious one, that is why…" he opened the box "Will you marry me?"

Shizuru was lost, she didn't know how to response. She stared at shining diamond on the ring and then at Reito. Tears began to ran down her face. With shaking voice she answered.

"I think a lot of people would like to kill me too. When they will hear my answer…"

"Do I have to take it as 'Yes'?"

"Yes…"

Smiling Reito stood up and took Shizurus hand into his. He took ring out of the box and put it on Shizurus ring finger. Not letting her hand, he leaned forward and soon their lips pressed in slow and tender kiss.

My whole body began to shake. I swear that tears would run from my eyes if they could. It was so painful to see them like this, to understand that I will never be able to be so close to her.

* * *

It was about twelve o'clock when Shizuru came back home. After propose they danced for some time. Then Reito took her back home. She asked him to stay and for my pleasure he resisted her invitation, saying that she have to think for some time. To think if she really is ready for that. Now she and I were in her bedroom. As she entered her room she went to the shower and I with her. This time I didn't turn my back. My green ghost eyes were staring at her beautiful body which was coward in water. How I wish to be the water pills which are so freely falling down her body. I wanted to reach for her, to touch her, but I couldn't. I didn't want her to be cold.

During the shower she sometimes looked at her new ring and every time she touched it, smile grew on her face. I couldn't bare it anymore, so I left her. I sat down at the edge of her bed looking into the mirror which was in front of me. But all I saw was empty bed. I closed my eyes and clenched my teeth trying to suppress pain which remind in all parts of my soul. Soon I heard opening of the door. I slowly turned my head and saw Shizuru in a white towel. She is so beautiful but thoughts about today's events made me turn around. _'I can't look at her… She doesn't belong to me anymore… But I'm her angel, am I not?' _this thoughts made me face her once more. Now she was slowly moving towards the mirror and smile still was playing on her face. It made me smile; if she is happy then I will be too.

She slowly sat in front of the mirror and took comb. With slow movements she began to comb her hair while tuning a melody. It took my attention and more pain found its place in my body. _'This melody…'_ It was the same melody which I and Shizuru liked to tune when we were together; when we were alone…This melody belonged to the song which we were singing during one of the karaoke parties. After singing I admitted my feelings toward her and our lips met in tender kiss. The taste of her lips flew in my mind and I gently caressed my lips with fingertips. Smiling, I stood up and went towards her placing myself behind her back. Standing there I began to tune melody with her. My eyes didn't leave her smiling face and warm feeling began to form inside of me. _'Maybe I can bear with it after all…' _And when the melody ended I whispered looking at her reflection.

"Shizuru…"

For my surprise she stopped combing her hair and turned around.

"Who is there?"

* * *

I'm waiting for reviews XD 


	5. Emotions

I'm very glad that I finallu got your attention. I hope to keep it longer ;) Here is the chapter which you were waiting. I know that my English isn't good so I will ask once more. Is there someone who would like to be my beta?

**volk83** I'm full of surprises XD I was thinking maybe I should write some fluff too XD And yes my both storiees are really CRUEL and MEAN but in different ways XD

**kikyo4ever** If to be true my first thought before I started to write this fic was 'I have to make them cry' and it seems that I did it :P Talking about miracles... The thing that no one remembers Natsuki is allredy a miracle, so maybe there will happen more of them ;)

**rainee-chan** Wow! I thought I will become death ) but thank you for your review ;)

**kiangs** Thanks, I will try my best not to dissapoint you in future ;)

Hope you will enjoy it ;) And that you will cry even more XD

* * *

Chapter 4

Emotions

"Who is there?"

'_What?! Did she heard me just now?!' _Something jumped inside of me making me feel uncomfortable and very hot at the same time '_Maybe I have a chance? Maybe I will be able to talk with her once again?'_ with that thought I screamed her name.

"Shizuru!"

But she didn't hear me… '_But she heard me last time, didn't she?'_ her next movements and words proved my theory. Still looking back she stood up and went to the door. My eyes followed her, not leaving even for the second. She opened the door and looked around. But she didn't see anyone around, how could she? It was me who called her name after all.

"I'm sure that someone just called me. Maybe it was my imagination?" saying these words she closed the door.

'_So she really heard me!' _Hope flamed in my soul, making me to want shout louder.

"SHIZURU!" this time I bet that everybody could hear me in heaven and hell, but not on Earth… not she…

'_Why? Why she doesn't hear me?!' _I screamed again and again, but nothing happened. She just passed by me and sat back into the chair.

"I think it is,because of today's events, I should go to bed"

"No! You are not imagining things! I'm here, Shizuru!"

Again no reaction. My body began to shake, eyes widening in disbelieve and hands clenching in fists. Emptiness began to fill me and stream of cold ran through my soul.

"I won't give up!"

With those words I tried to hug her, to touch her… But my hands went through her. I didn't feel her and nor did she…'_How? How is it possible? Doesn't she have to feel cold?' _I cried her name again, trying to get her attention. But all she did was putting comb back on the table and standing up. Horror, terror, sadness and sorrow went through me, making me become mad. Seeing how Shizuru went to change into pyjama I screamed again throwing to the night stand. My hands began to run down on the stand, trying to knock off everything what was on it. But they didn't move even for inch. _'Move! Why aren't they moving?! I already moved objects brfore; even today I was controlling Mais keys!_' But how hard I didn't try they didn't move. Then my gaze fell on her bed. In second I was near it and with sharp movement I pulled the blankets, but they stayed at its previous place. That was it… My knees became like jelly and bent down beneath me. Without any sound I fell on the floor and hands lay in front of me. My dark blue hair fell covering my sad face. I shook; sobbing began to come out of my mouth. '_Please God, allow me to cry! Just one more time!' _I asked Him, but he didn't answer on my request neither I heard his voice. I wonder why? Is He so busy that He can't even answer me? I clenched my hands in fists and furiously, with all strength that I had hit the floor. While I was sitting there, Shizuru already lay down on the bed and pulled blankets over her body.

"Cold… Why is it so cold? Didn't Souta have to repair conditioner today? Strange, but I somehow feel so sad right now… It seems that someone is in a big pain…"

My head rose and eyes widened in shock at her comment.

"Sh-Shizuru…"

'_She still feels my presence… My pain hurts her… Why? Why do I always hurt her? Even when I'm dead…'_ I rose at my feet and looked down at beauty that lay in front of me. Her whole body rolled into tangle to save the warmth. Lying like this she remind me a kitten. A lonely smile crossed my face '_Forgive me, Shizuru. Please forgive me… I forgot that you feel my presence, but why? Why you didn't feel me back then? I think I know someone who could answer me at this question… Once more forgive me for my madness and your suffering. I promise, I will never allow something like this happen ever again… Now sleep… I wish you to sink in pleasant of your dreams…' _Gladly, her form relaxed and I could see a smile, beautiful smile which only I was allowed to see when I was still alive. Smile which showed her soul, her pure like gold soul. I smiled back and sat at the foot of the bed appreciating her beauty. Soon she was sent to the dream world. Looking at her charming form I stood up and called.

"Jack! Hey Jack! Please come here!"

Bright light appeared in the middle of the room and out from the light came white figure with wings and blond, short hair. It was my angel, the same angel who took me to another world. Angel who became my best friend.

The light faded and now I could see him clearly. His face was wearing worrying expression.

"What has happened Natsuki?" he asked looking around. His gaze fell at Shizuru "She seems to be okay. Why did you call her name so loud?"

"I need to talk with you" I answered looking at my feet.

"I'm listening"

"I need to talk with you in private" I looked straight into his blue like sea eyes.

"But we are alone, aren't we? She can't hear us"

As a reply at his question I looked up.

"Oh" he understood me "Then lets go while I have time"

"But… I can't leave her" I answered and looked at sleeping beauty next to me.

"She is sleeping now, so I think you can leave her for a while"

Again bright light appeared in the room. It is good that Shizuru couldn't see it. Throwing last look at her I stepped into the light after my friend. The light was something like teleport, because in the next second we found ourselves in Heaven. Well it wasn't exactly heaven, it was angel house. House where angels could rest for a while, but not for too long.

Angel house was very big, because milliards of angels lived here in Heaven. Some of the rooms were meant as relaxing ones, but some of them were meant to do some kind of work. All rooms were very big and beautiful. A lot of different paintings and pictures were seen there. We passed by some rooms and entered one with big doors and golden ornaments on it. This room was different from others. Here you couldn't find any kind of furniture only white fog and blue skies above us. It was room of secrets, the only place where God couldn't hear and see us. But we couldn't use it often, only when it was really necessary. When we needed some privacy.

Turning around and facing me, Jack asked.

"So, what happened?"

"She heard me… but then she didn't…"

"What do you mean by '_she heard me'_?"

"I called her name and she heard it. She was looking around to find the owner of the voice… But of course she couldn't find anyone…" weak smile crossed my face "I tried to call her again, but this time there was no reaction. She didn't hear me… and I became mad. I wanted her to hear me, to talk with me… But she didn't hear me; she didn't even feel me when I tried to touch her. Then I tried to move objects and fell again. Pain was so big, that I couldn't do anything as just scream her name loud and hoping that miracle will happen again… that she will hear me… But nothing happened. When my temper fell, I understood that I hurt her again… She was cold and felt all sorrow and pain which I had…" remembering this smile fade from my face. I looked straight into his eyes "Tell me… why I couldn't move objects back then and why she couldn't hear me later?"

From look in his eyes I understood that he was shocked by hearing this. Not moving his gaze away from me he blinked for some times and spoke.

"She heard you?" I nodded "But how? What happened? Was she in danger?"

"No she wasn't… Besides she was very happy, because someone proposed her… While combing her hair she tuned melody…. Melody of the song which we liked to sing together. I was feeling very empty, knowing that soon she will marry someone, but this song made me feel better. And when she finished singing I whispered her name… Why did you think that she was in danger?"

"You see… we angels can communicate with people only when it is really necessary. But the thing you told me doesn't make any scenes… Maybe back then you felt some kind of emotions towards her?"

"I don't know… Everything that I felt was pain of loose. But then before whispering her name I felt warm… But I always feel warm feelings towards her…"

"I don't know what to say… Did God say anything to you?"

"No, I'm not sure if He heard me…"

"How? I bet that everybody could hear you in Heaven and Hell."

"I don't know… Maybe he was busy? If to be true I'm glad that he didn't hear me… I don't think He would like to see me in a state like this."

"I see…"

"You didn't answer at my second question… Why I couldn't move objects back then?"

"People can't see our presence, so everything that we do must look naturally. That is why you couldn't move objects in front of her… Didn't you read rules which God gave to you?"

"I never liked to follow the rules, so I didn't read them…"

"Then I have to warn you… The first of all rules is that you can't get too close to people. You can't communicate with them or your wings will be cut…"

My eyes widened "Why? What is so bad in communicating with them?"

"Angel is the same as bodyguard… If they get to close then they both can be in big danger…"

"I see" I answered lowering my gaze.

After brief silence he said looking up "I have to go…"

"Who is it this time?" I asked not facing him.

"A little girl who has burnt in fire…"

"Then go and show her the way" I smiled and looked at him.

He smiled in reply and bright light appeared again. In the next moment I found myself in front of Shizurus bed.

"Be careful Natsuki…" I heard his fading voice.

"I will…" I answered him and sat at the bed's edge "I will…"

'_If being close with you, means to hurt you… Then I won't try to communicate with you again…'_ with that thought I lay down and closed my eyes.

* * *

Next morning I woke up by sound of the falling water. I lazily opened my eyes.

"Shizuru…"

Sitting up I looked around and understood that Shizuru was having a shower right now. '_Damn you Natsuki! How could you fell asleep when you have to protect her? Besides, starting from what day does angels and ghosts sleep?' _Not thinking anymore I stood up and mowed towards the shower. Entering it I saw a very beautiful view of naked Shizuru who was having a shower. Blush found its place on my face.

"Ara, it is hot again. When that stupid conditioner will start to work normally?"

'_Damn, why am I blushing? I didn't blush yesterday!' _I turned around and crossed hands on my chest. I didn't have to wait too long before Shizuru finished washing. For my surprise after shower she began to dress, but not lying on the bed and reading a book as she used to. Putting on some make-up she left the house and sat into her red sport car. I set next to her and soon she drove away. _'I wonder where she is going?' _We rode for about twenty minutes before she stopped near another big house. She pressed the button on the gates and spoke.

"Hello can I see Kanzaki Reito?"

'_Of course! How could I forget that they are going to get married! It is obvious that she would like to see him in her free time' _

"_May I ask who is asking him?"_

"My name is Fujino Shizuru"

"_Oh Fujino Shizuru! Please come in!"_ was heard hurried voice before gates in front of the car opened.

"Ookini" Shizuru thanked and drove in parking her car not far from entrance door.

Before she could exit the car, Reito appeared in the doors wearing big smile on his face. Smiling too, Shizuru went towards him and hugging each other they kissed, making me to turn around. '_I'm not used to see them together, but I will'_ Turning my head back I saw their happy faces.

"I wondered when you will come" said Reito breaking the silence.

"Ara, so you were waiting for me?"

"Yes… but if you wouldn't come till twelve then I would drove to you"

"How sweet of you" answered Shizuru and placed another kiss on his lips, but this time kiss was interrupted my ring of the phone. Sighing they let each other and putting hand into his pocket Reito answered the phone.

"Yes?... Oh! Hello Mai-san!..." Shizuru raised her eyebrow. Cowering phone with his hand he whispered "We are only friends, don't worry" removing his hand he continued conversation "Did you want something?... Really? I wonder why?" he answered and looked at Shizuru "Should I give her a phone?... Ok, then what would you like to know?... With great pleasure! I think she will like idea too. So when and where will we meet?... Ok, see you till Friday, bye." He hung up.

'_I wonder what were they talking about?'_

"So what did Mai-san want?" asked curious Shizuru.

"She was trying to call you, but you didn't answer the phone"

"Phone? Oh, I forgot it at home" she sighed.

Reito just giggled "Don't worry, she told me everything that she wanted to ask you"

"Really? And what was that?"

"Tell me Shizuru… Do you like camping?"

* * *

I'm cruel 

I'm mean

You will kill me

You will hate me

But I'm happy after all! XD


	6. Trouble

Hello there! Here is my next chapter and as always full of mistakes XD This chapter isn't so seriouse as previouse ones but I hope you will like it. Sorry I'm not very good with writing how things look /

It seems that everybody hates Reito now XD Well, you will have to bare with him and Shizuru a little bit more : )

I allready asked, byt I will repeat myself. Is there anyone who would like to be my beta for this fic?

**kikyo4ever** I thought that tey are goddess... Well if there wasn't anything bad in seeing angels then it wouldn't be drama XD  
**BluexSavior** I always over read before posting and I find some mistakes, but as you see not all of them. I'm still looking for beta ; )

**kiangs** Yeh I know that previouse chapter was sader, but I will try to make next chapters sader then previouse ; )

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Mai HiME, but I promise to buy it someday P

* * *

Chapter 5

Trouble

As I found out later Mai decided to make a camping trip to celebrate their graduation. And of course she had invited all formal HiMEs, Tate, Takumi, Chie and Aoi. Oh! I forgot Reito. How could Shizuru go without him! Yes, I really hate him sometimes. But don't worry Shizuru, I will get used to him and I will share your happiness with you. Now about camping trip. The place where are they planning to go is a top secret and guess who found it? Of course it was Midori! Who else would make secrets about camping place? Sometimes I wonder how old she really is. Maybe five? Oh well… The camping trip was supposed to begin on Friday morning and end on Sunday evening. Shizuru was really excited, as I figured out it will be her first camping trip. Reito as always was helping her with things which she needed to take and do before going on a trip. He has already camped before, so he knew what she should take with her. How I wished to be the one who helped her, but again my wish couldn't come true.

It was already Friday; the morning sun was shining brightly lightening Shizurus room. Warm sun rays were playing on her face and big smile grew there while she was sleeping. I sat there, on the edge of the bed and admired her beauty. But soon I was brought back to reality when the alarm clock began to ring. It was six o'clock in the morning and Shizuru should get ready, because hour later our dear friends will come to pick her up. She lazily opened one eye and looked at the clock. She sighed, but managed to get up. Seeing her sleepy form I giggled. It is rare to see her in such a state even when I'm always around her and she can't hide anything from me. If to be true, sometimes I'm really glad that I'm a ghost, because I found out a lot of things about her which I didn't know before. I never knew that she likes to read books half-naked. Does she remember things better like this? She also likes to sing when no one hears her and she has a very beautiful voice. She could become a great singer, but sometimes I'm glad that only I can hear her.

Standing, I followed after her to the shower. As always I turned around and this time I could control my blushes. After having a good shower, she got dressed and went downstairs to have her early breakfast. She was finishing her meal, when somebody knocked on the door. One of the maids made her way to the door and opened it. A loud voice was heard and I recognized it immediately.

"Hey there! Where is Fujino? We have to hurry!"

"Hello Midori-san" answered Shizuru stepping behind maids back.

"Oh, here you are! So where is your luggage?" asked Midori looking around.

"It is upstairs"

"Great! Hey Tate, come here! We need man's strength!"

"Why me?" was heard Tates annoyed voice.

"Because you are the only man here! Now bring your lazy butt here!"

"Geez…" sighed Tate and entered the house "Hello Fujino-san, so where is your luggage?"

"In my room. Wakaba-san please show him where it is"

"Yes, Fujino-san. Please follow me" answered maid and lead the way.

'_Oh I really want to see Tates reaction, when he will see her luggage' _I smiled looking at his leaving figure.

"Midori-san I'm glad that Tate is helping me, but where is Reito?"

"Oh! Thanks for reminding me. Reito said that he has some business to do, so he will come later"

"Does he know the place where we are going?"

"I explained him everything so don't worry!" Midori smiled putting her hands on hips.

'_If it was you who explained him then Shizuru should be__ really worried right now"_

"ARE YOU JOKING???!!!" was heard Tates scream and everybody looked upstairs "Fujino-san! Where do you think you are going? On a month trip?!" asked Tate showing on the top of the stairs.

"Ara, it is my first camping trip, so I didn't know what to take" answered Shizuru and innocently smiled.

"Do you really need tea pot? And what about all these underwear!"

'_WHAT?!__ Did he open her luggage?! I will kill him!'_

"Ara, I thought that Tate-kun is interested In Mai, but now…" said Shizuru pulling one hand to her face and making disappointed face.

"N-N-No! I… I'll better go after l-luggage – shouted red as tomato Tate and ran back to the room.

"Shizuru-san, do you really need all these things?" asked Midori.

"No, I was hoping to make fun o Reito, but Tate-kun seems to be even better – she giggled.

'_Oh you little devil! Now I'm really glad that I'm dead. Poor Tate…__If I was still alive, I don't know what she would do to me! I think I would die from embracement!'_

Suddenly hard footsteps were heard and Tate with two big bags on his back appeared on the stairs. Luggage was really hard and Tates legs moved very slowly. His whole body shook and sweat like rain ran down his body. If it wasn't Shizuru who stopped him I think he would fell.

"Ara, Tate-kun. You can take my luggage back"

"WHAT?!" Tate froze.

"It is not my luggage which I'm taking with me. It was just a joke" Shizuru smiled again.

"JOKE?!"

"Yes, I planned it for Reito but as you can see he is not here."

Not saying a word Tate turned around and some seconds later loud noise was heard. It seems that he didn't bring luggage back.

"You are really evil sometimes, Fujino-san" noticed Midori smirking.

'_If you only knew…'_

"I think I should help him" still smiling answered Shizuru and went upstairs.

Some time later and finally Shizuru and Tate appeared on the stairs. Holding his back, Tate slowly went downstairs and behind him went Shizuru holding on her back middle sized back. _'Forgive me Teta, if I could communicate with you I would warn you about her prank'_ I sighed watching poor guy.

"Kanin na, Tate-kun" apologized Shizuru.

„No problem!" replied Tate with hurt expression.

"Ok lets hurry!" shouted Midori "Or we will never come there!"

Going outside I saw angry Mai, standing near Yokos car.

"Tate please explain me, why were you looking through Kaichous luggage?"

"B-Because it w-was opened…" he answered smiling innocently.

Throwing dark glare in his direction Mai faced Shizuru with big smile.

"Nice to see you Kaichou!"

"Ara, Mai. Didn't we have a deal?"

"Oh, gome ne Shizuru" apologized Mai brushing back of her neck.

Shizuru just smiled. Soon six of them, including Mikoto and Yoko, were sitting in the car and ready for a trip. All seats were taken so I couldn't sit inside. That means I was sitting in the carrier which was full with bags. I never thought that ghost can feel uncomfortable… All bags and items were placed through or inside my body, making strange feeling. My head could be found inside of the car, which was observing everybody. Especially my butterfly… As everybody were placed in, the car began to move. Suddenly memories about my last trip with Yoko appeared in my mind. Sometimes I wondered, maybe Schumacher and she are related? Because she was driving at such a high speed in such narrow roads that I wondered how something this big as car could drove without hitting anywhere. Yes, I also drove fast my motorcycle but it is motorcycle! It is narrow and you easily can avoid any kind of accidents, but car… I really wonder how people can drive them.

Today's day trip wasn't an exception. Yoko was staring as always. She drove car so fast that sometimes people sitting in the car were pushed to their sits and only noses were seen.

"YOKO! We aren't on fire!" shouted Midori holding tightly to her belt.

"But we soon will!" shouted Tate.

"Mai, is fired car tasty?" asked Mikoto whose body wasn't seen anymore.

"NO!" shouted Mai and grabbed Tates hand.

"You are no fun!" protested Yoko, but she didn't even think about slowing down.

I'm already dead and I shouldn't worry, but her driving really scared me. Besides it was very uncomfortable as my body always flew in all directions. Sometimes I even had to run after car! Finally she stopped. The doors immediately opened and guys jumped out of the car.

"Ground! My lovely ground!" shouted Midori and falling on knees began to kiss it.

"I'm with you!" said Tate and joined her.

"Me too!" exclaimed Mai and Mikoto in one voice and joined the others planting ground with kisses.

"Oh come on! It wasn't even fast!" protested irritated Yoko "The real speed was when I was late on my friends wedding party" she said dreamly.

"Thank God I didn't go with you back then!" shouted Midori looking at her friend and then again continued her work.

"Ara, but I enjoyed today's ride very much" said smiling Shizuru exiting the car "You are great driver!"

Everybody raised their head and looked at her like she was crazy.

"Finally someone estimate my skills!" said proud Yoko.

"You both are crazy!" proclaimed Midori.

'_Ho__w much I like the speed, but Yokos driving is definitely dangerous for life! Even I'm scared, although I always liked speed! Cars are definitely dangerous!' _

"What a nice view. I didn't know that you love our mother Earth so much" was heard someone's voice. Raising heads we all saw Reito who was wearing crosses, white T-shirt, red shorts and bag on his back. Smile as always shone on his face.

"Reito? I thought you will come later" said Shizuru and moved towards him.

'_Why did you have to come right now when things were becoming interesting?!'_

"I wanted to see you, so I decided to finish my work later"

"How sweet" said Shizuru and kissed him on the cheek.

"Ok, guys lets start moving!" said Midori rising on her legs.

"Did you plan to go without us?" was heard someone's firm voice.

Looking around we saw Haruku, Takumi, Chie, Aoi and other former HiMEs.

"You are already here too? Wow people! You are really fast!"

"We couldn't miss fun" smirked Chie and began to take photos.

"I hope that everybody are already here" said Midori and began to look around.

"Yep, everybody is here" answered Haruka crossing hands on her chest.

"Then MOVE! MOVE! MOVE!"

With those words Midori grabbed her luggage and went in front of everybody. Sighing, others took their backs and followed after their leader.

'_I hope we won't be __lost' _with that thought I joined the group. In the middle of group went Shizuru and Reito who were sweetly talking about something. Reito wanted to carry her back, but she was against and said that wants to do it by herself. I went as the last one, because I didn't want them to pass through me. It isn't very pleasant feeling especially after ride like this.

We walked down the path for about twenty minutes and then we were standing in front of a big forest. Everybody carefully looked inside before heading after their leader again. The forest was very big and creepy. All kind of scary shadows were seen and hitting branches sounds were heard. _'I wonder where is she taking us? If it is the best place for camping then I'm duck!' _But soon the area became lighter and we found ourselves on a cliff. There beneath us a beautiful view was seen. A lot of trees tops were seen and a wide river was running there, shining in a sun rays which were beautifully shining upon it.

"Here we are!" shouted Midori.

"Are we going to stay on this cliff?" asked Mai.

"Of course no! We are going down!" exclaimed Midori pointing down.

"It will take some hours to get there!"

"And what did you think camping is?" asked Midori with raised eyebrow.

"Well… I… u…."

"I see… Ok people lets go!"

Not saying a word she moved forwards. Sighing for another time, everybody followed her. The trip was very long and hard and it was one more moment when I was glad that I'm dead. Ghosts can't feel tired. Midori led the way through the thick forest and bogs. Some of creepy branches tore people clothes and even left some bruises. During this walk Haruka managed to fell into a bog and everybody had to take her back, while she didn't sink. Yukino told her about hundred times not to move, but she is Haruka isn't she? She screamed and tugged what made her sank even faster. When guys pulled her back she was all in mud. Although situation was serious, I couldn't stop giggling. After that incident Midori decided to have a break, which longed for twenty minutes. After Haruka cleaned herself and Yoko checked is everything ok, our group mowed once more. This time we were more careful and managed to get to the point without any incidents.

The place where we came was clear spot among the trees not far from river. Sun was already going down, so they quickly put tents and went for some wood to make bonfire. Midori as always stood on one of stumps and moving her hands in all directions lead the group who looked at her from corners of their eyes. When the bonfire was fired everybody sat in circle. Haruka joined later, because she needed to wash herself and change clothes. This time accident with Suzushiru was greeted with laughter when everybody remembered what happened some time ago.

"You should see your face Haruka! It was hilarious!" laughed Midori holding her stomach.

"It wasn't bunny!" protested Haruka.

"It is 'funny' Haruka-chan" corrected Yukino

"That is what I said!"

"Mikoto your words 'I'm starving' killed me!" laughed Nao "Even in this kind of situation the only thing you can think about is food!"

"It's not my fault! It is my stomach which still thinks it's hungry" cried Mikoto making puppy eyes.

"Ok, I will make something to eat" answered Mai.

Chat continued about different kind of things and I really enjoyed sitting there with them, but two persons who didn't pay attention to conversation got my attention more. It was Shizuru and Reito who were sitting under the tree. Holding each other they had their own chat. I don't know about what, because I was sitting in the circle. Seeing them together was still painful. When they were ready to kiss Midori shouted.

"Have a room already!"

"Sorry Midori-san, but I can't see any rooms here" answered Reito.

"Then find bushes!"

"Ok, lets go Shizuru" answered Reito and got up.

"Where?" asked Shizuru.

"To the bushes" he smiled helping her to stand.

"Reito!"

"Just kidding" he laughed.

"Ikezu" answered blushing Shizuru.

"Lets go to the river"

Shizuru just nodded and followed after him. So did I, I couldn't be too far from her so I had to follow.

"Be careful!" shouted Midori "Water flow is very fast and strong there!"

"Don't worry, we'll be fine" answered Reito.

Without saying any words, Reito and Shizuru moved into the forest. I went behind them and I clearly could see them holding each others hands. Soon sound of running water was heard. Walking some more meters we found ourselves in front of wide river. Midori didn't lie. The water flow was really fast and strong here_. 'Why couldn't they go to more peaceful place? Wait! Maybe it's even better. It isn't too romantic here, so nothing special will happen… well I hope so' _I turned around to see what were they doing but turned back immediately '_I was wrong'_ And what should I expect from them? After some time hugging and kissing each other they let go. But before going back, Shizuru wanted to see water closer. The bank of the river was about meter higher above the water, so you should bent a little to see it clearly.

"Be careful" warned Reito.

"Don't worry, I'll be fine" smiled Shizuru and came closer.

The water was fast and sound of it hitting against shore and stones filled the area.

"Come Shizuru, lets find more peaceful place"

"But I like it here. The sound of running water is very calming"

"You are really strange sometimes" smiled Reito "Other people like peaceful water more, but you…"

"You should already figure it out till now that I'm not like all people" she smiled in reply.

"How could I forget it"

"Well, I think we really should go back" answered Shizuru and looked at dark skies.

Hearing that they are going back, I turned around and made my way but then… A crack was heard followed by Reitos scream.

"SHIZURU!"

I quickly turned around and my eyes widened in shock from what I saw. The part of shore where Shizuru stood broke and now she was falling down into the streams of cold water. _'No, no, no…'_

"SHIZURU!"

* * *

So what do you think? Hope you liked humor. Please review ; ) 


	7. Angel

Finally you can see my next chapter Sorry for taking so long I had some business to do, besides now I have beta! We worked very hard with it and I think I will hate red colour soon XD If you will find some mistakes, then they belong to me because I have aded something. Hope you still wait for next chapters and if you have some ideas tell me, because I know main idea for fic but I have problems with details. And one more thing... don't kill Reito and me

**SpiderLilies2007 **yes it is possible, I will think about it

**kikyo4ever** Are you trying to comfort yourself? Sorry but I won't allow you to relex devil smile I have big plans for them, I only need details!

**LucyEllis** Sorry, won't work :P

Thank you everybody for review, I hope to receive them even more in future And thank you **AnomolyIdiotic** for beeing my beta

DISCLAIMER: I don't own them cries

* * *

Chapter 6

Angel

"SHIZURU!"

Big splash was heard and next thing which I saw was Shizuru's body in stream of cold water, which quickly took her away. I stood there not knowing what to do and how to help her '_I'm a ghost! I can't touch her and what's more important I can't hold her! But… I'm her GUARDIAN ANGEL!'_ But before I could do something, I saw Reito's figure moving towards the water '_Don't tell me he is going to jump! I won't be able to save both of them! Especially when I'm not sure about how to save her! God please help!' _

I quickly ran towards him and grabbed him on his jacket. It seems that God heard me after all. I pushed my hand trying to throw Reito back and it worked! I threw him backwards as easy as if he was some toy. With big smash Reito landed far away from river. I heard the others voices, meaning I didn't have to worry about Reito anymore.

'_Wait! Why the hell do I care about him?! Oh no!' _With thatthought I turned my head in waters direction and saw Shizuru's struggling body far away in the rapid river.

"NO!"

With that scream I jumped into the water _'Damn you Reito! Because of you Shizuru is in bigger danger than she was! Hold on Shizuru, I'm coming!'

* * *

_

PVC 3rd person

Reito sat there not far from river rubbing his butt, which was hurting after landing on it with such force. _'What was that? How did I end here? Wait! Shizuru is still in water!'_ With that thought he jumped onto his feet and ran towards water once more. But this time he was stopped by hands, which pulled him back with strong force. "Let go!" he shouted trying to free himself from the unbreakable grip.

"What the hell are you doing?!" protested Midori holding onto his left arm.

"Shizuru is there!" he pointed to the river.

"What?!" asked everybody in unison.

"Let go! I need to save her!"

"If you will jump, we will have to save you too, jerk!" protested Nao holding him by his right leg.

After some struggling he finally gave up. His legs bent down and he fell heavily. Everybody let go and looked at him with sorrow. It was the first time when they saw their perfect Vice President breaking down. When he returned to his senses everybody rushed to the water. With all strength and speed which they had they ran in Shizuru's direction, trying to catch up and save her. But stream was too fast…

PVC 3rd person ends

* * *

My ghost body was now in stream of cold water, but I wasn't cold. I couldn't feel anything. Especially now… even feeling of the water and creature passing through my body didn't disturb me. The only thing that made sense and was important was Shizuru. I had to save her no matter what! But how, was another question.

I moved my body as fast as possible and thankfully for me, being ghost made it much easier. After good struggling I finally managed to get to her. Shizuru with all her effort tried to swim towards the shore but it was useless. The flow was too strong for her.

And soon strength began to leave her body.

"No Shizuru! Hold on!"

I wasn't sure about will it work or not, but I caught Shizuru into my transparent arms. And it seemed to work. Shizurus body didn't sink anymore. She shook under my touch and I understood that she was cold _'I have to hurry and think about anything __how to save Shizuru__ before she dies from coldness' _while I was making plans, I saw a spilt in the river both paths of rushing water, I could hear the sound of a waterfall. Looking at both options, the semi-conscious Shizuru was still preciously held in my arms. Fear was in my eyes, I didn't know what to do. It would make harder for group to find her now.

We got into the left one _'Natsuki think! What can I do to save her from the demon water? Maybe… I could try to push her towards the shore?' _I furiously began to kick my legs to swim towards the shore, but it was useless. I couldn't pull her to the shore '_But water can!' _Finally I had a plan, but to complete it, I had to let her go of her. _'Hold on Shizuru, I'll save you' _and I let go. Shizuru's body immediately began to sink, but not for too long. With all strength that I had, I began to make waves pushing water on her. And it worked!

Waves of water began to push her body towards the shore. Seeing that my plan worked I pushed at the water even harder. Shizuru's body rose and fell, while strong waves pushed her towards shore. Things didn't work as quickly as I wanted, but waiting was worth it. After hard work I managed to push Shizuru onto the bank of the river.

She didn't move, her unconscious body lay there while water washed my lover's lower torso which still was in the water being pulled at by the current.

'_What now?! I have to wake her up!_ 'To my surprise she moved. Her body trembled and she slowly opened her blood red eyes. She slowly looked around and then carefully pulled herself out of water, she weakly coughed water out of her lungs. I quickly ran towards her, wanting to help but I couldn't touch her '_Why? Why I can't help her now? I pulled Reito some time ago, didn't I? Why I can't do it again?' _I had too many questions and no answers. It killed me, because I didn't understand how it worked and I couldn't do anything to help her '_What do I need to do to touch her? To talk to her? But maybe I don't have to figure it out_ … Maybe it is unwise to understand how my (powers) work,_ after all Jack said it's dangerous to be to close with people…' _

While I was standing over her and wondering what to do, Shizuru was struggling to get up, then BAM she was walking! _'This woman is really full of surprises!_' She was walking away from water, holding onto trees. It seems that fight with water took all her strength to stay alive. I stopped my train of thought and ran after her. I walked behind her and my hands were ready to catch her at any time '_How stupid… I'm a ghost! G-H-O-S-T! I can't catch her! But maybe I can keep her on her legs…' _Slowly step by step Shizuru moved forwards, I didn't know what to do and where to go and I think Shizuru didn't know it either.

Shizurus body was covered in different type of bruises. Her clothes were wet from water and from blood which ran down her shirt from where a stick had cut her body. Her steps were uncertain and slow what meant she had lost a lot of strength from her battle with death. Her face looked so tired and I wondered how the hell she can still move! I never saw her so weak before and I wanted to hit myself for letting it happen. But Shizuru is a strong person; she continued to walk though every step looked more like falling then walking.

Dark skies were above our heads and pale moon shone among the trees. Cold wind was blowing making Shizuru shiver. She pushed her back against a tree, hugging herself she collapsed down. Pulling her legs to her chest, she began to close her eyes.

"No Shizuru! Don't dare to fell asleep! You will freeze!"

"Huh?" she lightly opened her eyes and looked around.

'_Did she hear me right now? Maybe I can lead the way then? But she is__ so tired… I don't think she will be able to move for a long time, but she also can't stay here' _and she closed her eyes again.

"Don't you dare to die here!"

With those words I ran deeper into the forest, looking for place where to hide from rain which would start soon, because of dark clouds which appeared. Suddenly I saw a big cave and something heavy fell from my soul making me feel happier _'She has a chance…' _remembering where the cave was I ran back. I stopped and saw Shizuru slowly trudging towards me '_God, please allow me to help her, allow me to communicate with her'_ I looked at the dark skies and closed my eyes tightly. Slowly opening them I whispered…

"Shizuru…"

I lowered my head and looked at lady of my heart who was still walking towards me '_Lets hope it will work' _I ran some distance and called her name once more. It seemed that she really hears me, because she turned and walked on my voice. Smile crossed my face and I continued leading her towards the cave. Soon her eyes met with our destination. But before she reached it hard rain started to fell. Using all her strength she ran, but fell some meters away from entrance. I immediately ran towards her to help, but this time I was helpless _'How does it work?'_ I wondered still not understanding when I can help and when I'm helpless.

With growing concern I looked at my precious person who tried her best to get up. Hard rain continued to fall and Shizurus brown hair slightly fell covering her face. Finally she managed to get up and walk into the cave, but as soon as she was inside the cave, her wet and weak body slipped and collided into the wall _'I have to do something__ or she will freeze. But what can I do__?!' _I was in panic and if I could, I would have pulled the hair from my head in frustration. While I tried to figure out how to help Shizuru, she moved deeper into the cave. Lowering my hands from my head I followed her. My eyes widened when I saw some dry branches _'Were they always there or is it God's help?' _there not far from them I saw two stones with which would help Shizuru to be able to make a fire '_It's definitely God's help!' _I raised my head,_ 'Thank you…' _

The next thing I saw was Shizuru trying to light the branches. She struck the rocks together trying to spark a flame, struggling for a time the dry branches suddenly lit and the cave was filled with warmth. Shizuru gently rubbed her hands together trying to warm herself. Knees were tightly pressed to her body and hands slowly pushed towards the fire. Cold water slowly dropped from her wet clothes and hair. Her eyes slowly began to close and lonely tear ran down from corner of the eye. It hurt so much to see her like that, so I slowly sat behind her and tried to wrap my hands around her shaking body to comfort her. I knew that she wouldn't feel my touch, but maybe she will feel something and won't feel so lonely. But as soon as my hands found their way around her body she shivered even more _'Baka, what were you thinking? I'm still a cold being and she can feel it. I don't want her to have temperature' _and when I was ready to let go I heard her whisper.

"Don't let go…"

'_What, does she feel me? Or maybe she is dreaming?'_

"Please…"

Seeing and hearing her helplessness caused me even more pain. I still wanted to let go, but her pleading stopped me. A gentle smile crossed my face when I tried to stroke her head.

"I won't…" and placed a ghost kiss on the back of her head "If you want…"

I still wasn't sure was she dreaming or not, but I didn't care. Because I finally could held my goddess in my arms even if she didn't see me…

* * *

PVC 3rd person

"Shizuru! Fujino-san! Kaichou-san! Bubuzuke!"

Somewhere deep in the forest, voices of people could be heard calling for someone precious. But if you looked carefully you would see our old friends who were looking for their beloved friend. Everybody had light in their hands and now were approaching through the forest near the river. It was very dark outside and they had to be careful to not fell into the bog or get lost.

When Shizuru fell the first thing which they did was to call rescuers who promised to do their best. After that everybody took their things and went to look for their beloved Kaichou. The only one who didn't like the event of things was Reito. He didn't want to lose time and wanted to go after her straight away. But he wasn't allowed. Everybody wanted to help her, but they just couldn't leave everything behind. When they were ready Reito was the first one who ran forward, but once more was stopped and asked to go slower if he didn't want to repeat Harukas and Shizurus history.

They were looking for about 3 hours, but there were no signs about where she could be. But they didn't want to stop. Not looking at time and on their sleep, they continued looking for Shizuru. No one of them was going to give up and stop until their Kyoto beauty will be with them again…

PVC 3rd person ends

* * *

Weak light fell on my sleeping face and I weakly opened one of my eyes. Memories of the last night events flew through my head and my second eye opened immediately. I was so worried, but soon I calmed down seeing that my goddess still was in my arms. I smiled, but soon it faded seeing that she was still wet, I could also see more bruises on her beautiful body now and caked blood from where the stick had cut her _'I have to do something. I need to help her and I can't hold her anymore or she really will freeze' _no matter how much it hurt, I had to let go. Slowly I stood on my feet and throwing a loving last glance at her exited the cave. I went a little bit further into the forest, but then stopped and looked at the bright skies.

"God, I need your help once more. Please give me the power to help her, to save her"

"Didn't you do enough already?" He asked quietly.

"No, I won't find peace until she's home again"

"You are a real angel, Natsuki" He answered and temperature became higher what meant only one thing… he was smiling "So, are you ready?" I nodded "Good"

And in the next moment I found myself in wolf's body with blue fur. I looked at skies once more, but this time with puzzled look.

"Your friends are not far from here, hurry" He whispered.

"Now I see… Thanks" and with those words I ran further into the forest.

"The spell will be broken as soon as she will be saved. Try to hide till this time" were His last words. Nodding I ran even faster _'Hold on Shizuru. I'll help you'_

I don't know what did He mean by not far, but I ran for about half an hour before I heard familiar voices. I slowed my steps and carefully stood behind one of trees. There not far from me I saw familiar faces. All of them were very tired, they must not have slept the previous night all searching for Shizuru. '_Shizuru, we are really lucky to have friends like these' _in front of the group was Reito who was covered in mud and bruises from toes till nose shouting Shizuru's name '_I think I will get used to him after all, he is too good and kind… You can't lose him, Shizuru' _but I had to stop my trail of thoughts. Trying all by best I started to howl and all of them jumped.

"Great! We've been out all night fighting for our lives and for Shizuru's and now wolves!" Nao groaned more annoyed then afraid.

"Maybe we should return" Tate asked wearily, but was immediately silenced by Reito's harsh look, "Or maybe not."

"Move guys! We have to find our comrade!" shouted Midori.

"Aaaaa! Wolf!" shouted Mai pointing in my direction. I had come out of the brushes, my wolf form in their view. Wind was playing with my blue fur while my green eyes carefully moved from one to another, making them back. I raised my head showing my white like snow fur from my chin and down my chest till the end of my tail, I howled once more.

"Don't worry Mai! I'll protect you!" shouted Mikoto jumping in front of her.

"Hey it's my job!" protested Tate.

"Oh shut up you!" shouted Nao backing away from me. I slowly moved my head to side showing them to follow.

"Wait, I think it's trying to tell us something" said Reito and moved forward "Tell me, do you know where she is?" and as an answer I waved my tail and ran away "Hey wait! Come on guys!"

"Are you sure? It's wolf after all, not dog! Maybe he will take us to his friends!" protested Nao, but Reito didn't hear her.

Using all his strength he ran after me and soon everybody followed his example. On my way I sometimes slowed down to make sure that they are still following _'Hold on Shizuru. I'm coming'_

Chasing after me at full speed, everyone followed his example wanting to save Shizuru.

* * *

PVC Shizuru

'_Cold… Where am I' _were my first thoughts when I opened my eyes and before I remembered what happened tonight. I carefully looked around and tried to stand up, but it wasn't as easy as it seamed at first. The events of last night made me really weak, I don't remember being so weak before. When I finally managed to stand on my feet I moved towards exit. Bright sun was seen in the skies making pillows of water on leaves to shine.

Carefully I sat down putting my back on called wall. Memories began to fly across my mind '_How did I get here? What happened? I was so tired yesterday that I don't remember anything after I fell into the river. Ok, think Shizuru… Waves… yes waves pushed me onto the shore where I could lead my way. I remember I fell somewhere near tree and… and what next? Ah, I began to freeze and fell asleep… But then I heard that __voice, voice that woke me… Was it my imagination? But I don't think I could imagine that voice all the time! Voice full of concern, voice which wanted me to live… Voice which lead me here… Am I going mad? Where that voice did came from? But then there was silence… Someone held me during__ the night but who? Geez! Did I hit my head while I was in the river?!'_ and there my thoughts stopped. A loud howl was heard and big wolf with blue and white fur stood not far from me. I backed fearing that it will attack me, but it didn't.

To my surprise I didn't see any kind of anger and what shocked me more was the real feeling which I saw in its eyes. It was sorrow, pain and at the same time happiness. Its beautiful green eyes stared straight into my red rubies. I don't know, but during this moment I felt complete I didn't want to break contact, but I heard someone calling out my name. The wolf stared at me for some time before running out of the cave. _'What was that feeling right now? And those eyes… that seemed so familiar… What kind of wolf was that? It is the first time when I saw blue wolf with green eyes… or maybe it was my imagination again?'_

"Shizuru!"

"Reito?" I asked uncertainly '_Who knows, maybe it's another imagination'_

Then a person jumped out from bushes and seeing me ran towards. It really was Reito!

Then behind him I saw Mai, Midori, Haruka and the others 'Did_ everybody were looking for me?'_

"Shizuru" in the next moment I found myself in Reito's embrace. His whole body was covered in mud and then it began to shake…

"Reito?" now I was worried. He was crying, for the first time in whole my life I saw him crying.

"Gome, Gome Shizuru… I had to catch you, I had to…"

I gently stroke his had and raised his chin that I could see his purple eyes "It's ok Reito, It's ok" and I gently kissed him on lips.

"Awww" was heard when everybody saw us.

"How sweet" said smiling Mai.

"Go find bushes!" shouted Midori.

"Stop pissing you already!"

"Its 'kissing' Haruka-chan" corrected blushed Yukino.

"That's what I said!"

"Ok people, we have to bring her to open area where rescuers could find us" said Yoko.

"Stupid rescuers," said annoyed Nao "We found that crazy woman faster then them!"

"Nao" warned Reito and I in same time and glared at girl.

Sweat dropping she answered "I meant Fujino-san"

"Ok lets go then" said Reito and took me into his arms "Does it hurt anywhere" he asked worriedly.

"No its fine, but how did you find me?"

"Well you can laugh, but some strange wolf took us here" he smiled.

Remembering that strange wolf I looked around and for my surprise I noticed him. He was hiding in bushes, but its green orbs looked straight at me. Suddenly it disappeared. And I don't mean like it ran away, no. I really meant it! The wolf disappeared if it was some kind of fog. I closed my eyes and shook my head '_I really hit my head somewhere! Hearing and seeing strange things isn't normal… But maybe… Is it even possible?!'_ My travel of thoughts was stopped by Reitos voice.

"Is something wrong?"

"No, its fine" I answered and wrapped my hands around his neck.

PVC Shizuru ends

* * *

'_Damn! I hope she didn't see it' _I thought right after I was turned back into my ghost form. At the moment Shizuru was being carried away by Reito and everybody followed them. Midori as always went in front leading the way. Smiling I followed them. At the moment I felt so happy for Shizuru. Finally she was safe and could find comfort in Reito's arms. _'I'm still not Reito's fan, but seeing how he cares about my dear Shizuru I think I will change my mind about him. It still hurts that I can't be the one who holds her and comforts, but if Reito really cares about her so much as I do then I don't mind seeing them together. Just don't disappoint me, Reito'_.

After some walk we found ourselves in open area and Nao took out her mobile phone and called the "rescue squad", but before telling them where we were she shouted at them, telling them how slow they were in her language (swearing). It seems that they were really scared of her because a helicopter came very quickly. Shizuru was put into the bed and doctors began to observe and bandage her body. And of course hot cup with tea was given to her what made her happier '_You are really addicted to tea, Shizuru' _I smiled seeing her happy face while she sipped her tea.

About half an hour later we were delivered to hospital and Shizuru was immediately sent into the emergency room. The doctors also took care on others members of group bandaging their bodies and giving all of them tea. But before drinking the tea, everybody had to change their wet clothes to dry ones. For tea drinking everybody came to Shizuru's room and stayed with her till late, but then they were asked to leave to give her a good rest. Reito wanted to stay by her side during night, but he wasn't allowed. I somehow felt sorry for him, but that way it was better because now Shizuru could have a good rest.

It was already dark at night and I was standing near the window appreciating the moon and beautiful figure in the bed. During all this time Shizuru didn't sleep and some worried expression was seen on her face. I didn't know how to help so I just stood there watching over her. Suddenly she spoke.

"It seems that we are alone"

'_Huh? With whom is she talking?'_

"Thank you for saving and protecting me… my dear Angel…"

* * *

So what do you think? Was it worth of waiting? Please review and tell me your ideas 


	8. Superstitions

Hello everybody! Here is next chapter which I hope you were waiting ; ) Well this chapter isn't as interesting as last one, but not boring as well! I have some problems with future chapter now so you can give me some ideas ;)

**kiangs **Yeh I like cliffhangers :p they make me feel more comfortable, because I know that readers will be waiting for next chapter And about your last question... just wait and you will see ;)

**glowie **glad that you liked the way where I'm going :) And idea with wolf I think was perfect too,after all Natsuki likes wolfs :)

**SpiderLilies2007** Yeh I like that side of Nao too XD She always knows what to say XD Yes, my stories are too different from each other XD

**Demel aka Suqador** if to be true I hate rescue moments like this(I mean your example) Why do we girls always have to be in danger and than fell in love with our rescuer T.T It's stupid :/ Yeh I don't want to rush things that is why I sometimes have problems with ideas for next chapters / Glad that it was worth your wait :)

**jordan.D **If you don't remember epilogue, there was told that Natsuki wished that all memories about her were deleted from her friends memory. What means no one knows that Natsuki has ever existed :/ That also means God had to change some of their memories and that is why Shizuru is with Reito now. Hope you understand.

**firecaster-hikaru **Can't answer you at this question, because I'm not sure about what kind of ending there will be :)

Thank you everybody for reviews And big thanks for my beta **AnomolyIdiotic**!!!

P.S.For people who wait next chapter for my second fic.My beta was busy but it promised to finish it this week So wait for update ;)

* * *

Chapter 7 

Superstitions

"Thank you for saving and protecting me… my dear Angel…"

Her first words made me confused, but these ones! '_What the hell?! She is talking__to__me!'_

"Someone will think I'm crazy, because it seems that I'm talking with myself but I know that you are here. I know it sounds strange, but I can't explain it in another way. The moment in the river, when someone led me, held me… oh and of course strange wolf who disappeared like fog"

'_Damn! She saw me back then! Natsuki, baka!'_

"You know, I'm very grateful that you helped me and didn't leave me to die. And thank you for holding me during the night" she smiled.

Remembering that moment I blushed, after all it was the first time when I could hold her after my death.

"Ara, it is becoming warm here" she giggled "Now I know why it was always hot in my house, especially when I was taking a shower"

Pictures of naked Shizuru reading books and having showers quickly ran through my mind and steam began to break out from my ears.

"Ara, it seems that I'm right" she giggled even more "Did you enjoy the view?" she asked in teasing manner what made a heat in my body to rise.

'_Damn you woman! You make me blush even when you don't see me or hear me and even when… you don't know me'_ the last part of my thoughts made me sad. Yes, Shizuru had figured out about me as angel, but she still didn't remember me '_And it is good that she doesn't remember. I don't want to see her breaking down '__a_lonely smile crossed my lips.

"I wonder where you are standing right now?" her question returned me back from my thoughts.

_'I also would like you to know where I'm standing'_ I sighed and than looked at the curtains _'Well I can try at least'_ I tried to move them but nothing happened and another sigh came out from my mouth _'I wonder how does it work?' _

"Maybe my Angel could say something? I really want to hear your beautiful voice again" another blush found its way on my face "Or MY Angel doesn't want to talk with me? Am I really so annoying? How sad…" she closed her face with hands and began to sob.

"What?! No! You are not annoying Shizuru and I really want to talk with you!" but she didn't hear me '_And what did I expect?'_

I wanted to stop her sobs to comfort her, but I didn't know what to do when suddenly she lowered her hands and raised her head.

"Maybe you can't talk to me? Maybe you can do it only when I'm in danger?"

_'Clever girl, Shizuru! No wonder I chose you!'_ I smiled looking at my smart goddess.

"Then I have to get in trouble more often" the smile was plastered all over her face.

_'What?! Don't even think about it! I think I will die once more if I will see you in pain ever again!'_

"It was nice to talk to you, hope next time you will be able to answer me in some way" she winked "Now I need some rest, goodnight my angel" she closed her eyes and slowly fell asleep.

"Goodnight to you too, Shizuru" I looked through the window "Although it will be morning soon" I smiled and was trying to get some rest too when…

"Hello Natsuki, how is Shizuru?"

"Oi! Stop scaring me like that!"

"Gome, but I can't do it in another way"

"Ok forget it"

"So, how is Shizuru?"

"Fine, just fell asleep"

"I see and I also heard that she was trying to talk with you" my body froze "Don't try to answer her, Natsuki. I don't think that result will be very pleasant"

"I-I'll try" I answered uncertainly.

"Good" and He left.

I stood once more analyzing information which was given me '_I still don't understand why it is dangerous? I understand__human__bodyguards…If they will be to close he or she won't be able to think logically and protect, but me… I'm__an__angel, what kind of trouble can happen that I can't handle? Damn! I have too__many__questions! Besides__Shizuru knows about me now. Well not exactly about me as Natsuki and what is good, I don't want to see her in pain… But I want to talk to her once more… I think I need Jacks advice again, although I'm sure he will say the same thing. But I can try at least!'_ taking deep breath I called my friends name. Bright light which only my eyes could see appeared in the room and in the next moment my blonde friend stood in front of me.

"You called me?" he asked calmly.

"Yeh, I would like to talk with you once more"

"Come."

The next thing I saw was big door with ornaments, behind which room for secrets was. The door opened and bright light fell upon our faces. I closed my eyes with hand but from corner looked at my companion who didn't even try to cover his face or shut his eyes. On the contrary, he just kept looking straight and than entered the room. Still protecting my eyes with hands I followed him and as soon as I entered light disappeared. (on the contrary is the saying.)

"What the hell was that?" I demanded lowering hands.

"It seems that a lot of angels is inside right now" he smiled looking at me.

"How could you look at directly at the light?"

"I have gotten used to it, after all I teleport with the help of light"

"I see…"

"So what did you want to talk about?"

"Did you hear about what happened with Shizuru?"

"Sure, besides… she sometimes appeared on my list…" he looked away.

"What?! Do you want to say that she was in such major danger?!" I asked grabbing on his shirt and forcing to face me. Jack was one of the angels who showed human souls their new home, the angel who lead them.

"Yeh, but don't worry. Her name quickly disappeared, so she wasn't in such big danger. Besides some names always appears on my list when someone is in danger. It is just like a warning, to be prepared"

"If you will take her, I will cut your wings with my own hands!"

"It's not me who takes human life, it's Death. I'm just a guide" my hands relaxed letting him go "So why did you want to see me after all?"

"Well as you already know Shizuru was in trouble and I saved her, but that's not the point! The main thing is that she heard me!"

"I told you that we angels can communicate with people when they are in danger, of course if they are worth to be saved"

"Yeh, I remember that but she also felt my presence and now she knows about my existence. She was trying to talk to me before."

At this his eyes grew wider "She knows about your presence now?" I nodded "And she remembers you?"

"No, she doesn't remember me, but she knows that she has angel by her side"

He let the air out which he was holding "That's good, I don't think you would like to see her in pain but the thing that she is trying to talk with you is bad. Don't try to answer her"

"Again…"

"Pardon?"

"Last time you also said that I can't communicate with her… But I still don't get why?"

"She can get to close to you and shut herself from others… and if her memories will come back?"

"Is it possible?"

"I'm not sure, but I think yes. After all some things seems familiar to her, although her new memories don't have to know or remember them. Natsuki, please be careful or yours and hers world will be ruined"

"But what do I have to do now? I'm sure she will try to talk with me again"

"Ignore her, you can't make contact with her"

"I'll try, but…"

"It's for yours and hers sake"

"I understand" I lowered my head and sadness ran through my body.

"I have to go now…"

"Then I won't take your time any longer" I tried to smile, but failed.

In the next moment I found myself by Shizuru's bed. I was right; conversation with Jack didn't help me. It made me feel even worse. My lonely gaze travelled on Shizuru's body appreciating her beauty. Weak smile crossed my face and I bet that tear would run out of my eye if it was possible. For another time I felt lonely. I really wanted to talk with her, to touch her, to make her know who I am _'I can't… I don't want her to remember and feel that pain. Pain of lose… I know what kind of pain it is… I know how much it hurts… I want to talk with you, but I don't want you to face the same pain with which I was fighting till the end of carnival and from which you saved mel… No, I won't allow you to know it'_ I slowly bent down and put light, ghost kiss on her forehead. Happy smile appeared on her sleepy face which made me want to do it again but '_Forgive me, but it was the last contact which I made with you. I can't put you under risk; I don't want you to remember…'_

* * *

PVC Shizuru 

The feeling of knowing that you have a guardian angel is very pleasant I have to say. Yes, I knew that everybody has got their angel but I always thought it as a fairytale. But now when I felt and heard it, I believe and I really want to talk with my angel now. I don't think that everybody can say '_I can talk with my angel'_. Well my communication with it last time couldn't be called talking, because only I was opening my mouth '_Maybe it isn't allowed to talk with me? I don't care! I will make it to talk to me in this or other way!'_ were my thoughts when I woke up in the morning, but the first thing which I saw wasn't my angel. It was Reito who was sitting by my bed and I can't say that this view was bad. I love Reito very much, but sometimes I feel it is wrong, that we don't have to be together… Sometimes I feel that I am meant to be with someone else, but I don't know with whom and why I have this feeling. But I don't care; Reito is too nice and protective… I can't lose him.

"Hello honey, did you have nice dreams?" he asked smiling.

"Yes, I did" I smiled in reply "and you?"

"I couldn't sleep knowing that you are in pain" he answered caressing my check.

"You are too sweet, besides I feel better"

"But I still had to be faster and able to catch you"

"It's over, lets forget about the incident" _'Although I don't think I will be able to. After all thanks to this incident I know about my angel'_

"Ok"

Silence fell between us, but it was peaceful and comfortable. We sat there for some time enjoying each other company when Reito spoke again.

"I was talking with doctor and he told that you should stay here for a few days"

"Ara? More days? But I'm fine. I don't have to stay here any longer" I protested wanting to go back home.

"I know how strong you are, but if doctor says so…"

"Alright, I will stay"

Smiling he leaned forward and caught my lips with his. The kiss was slow and gentle. I began to lose myself into the kiss when…

"Hello there Fujinio-san!" Midori entered the room with other former HiME behind her.

"Ara, Midori-san! It's nice to see you, please everybody come in"

And it is how my three days in hospital went. Every morning I was greeted by Reitos big smile and sweet kiss and all my friends came to visit me during the day. Unfortunately for me, my fan club also found out about accident and now everyday I was surrounded by them who were talking without stopping. Thankfully Reito brought ear plugs and I couldn't hear a thing. I just sat there smiling and nodding in agreement. During night, when I was alone I tried to communicate with my angel who still didn't response in any way. I tried all my best, even puppy eyes didn't work. Only my teasing made temperature in room to get higher which was a good sign that my angel was still around.

Finally I was let go and Reito drove me back home, but of course first of all we went to Mai's karaoke party to celebrate my recovery. Thankfully I didn't have to sing. When I was home, Reito stayed with me for some time to make sure that I was fine. My maids promised to take good care on me what made him feel better, but he still didn't want to leave. I was glad that he cared so much, but I needed to take shower and have good rest, after all karaoke party wore me out. Understanding, he kissed me as goodnight kiss and left. I went to my room with maids behind me.

"I'm fine, you don't have to follow me" I smiled.

"Are you sure miss?" asked one of them.

"Ara, and if I'm not you will follow with me into the bathroom too?" _'Bad Shizuru, but teasing is so much fun'_

Blushing, second made answered "If it is needed… yes"

"I'm fine don't worry"

"Are you sure?"

"Of course"

They tried to protest more, but I protested back and finally they gave up. Smiling I made my way to the room to take a towel. In bathroom I began to undress and for another time temperature rose, what made me giggle.

"Ara, so I was right. My angel really is following me everywhere" this comment made temperature to rise even more. Giggling, I entered the shower "I don't mind my angel seeing me naked" this time it was really hot and I had to take cold shower.

Smiling I began to wash myself when my thoughts started to drift in other way '_I wonder what gender my angel has? I think it's female, men don't blush so often. Interesting how does she look? I'm sure she is pretty…I'm so curious to see her white and beautiful wings. I hope I will be able to communicate with her again. Maybe I really should get myself in some kind of trouble? No, I don't think it will be fair towards her. She was very protective and kind last time. I can't make her worry again'_ turning water off, I wrapped myself in a towel and left the shower cubical, my mouth dropped open as I stared at…

POV Shizuru ends

* * *

What can I say... review XD 


	9. Communication

Wow! That was a lot of reviews! Didn't expect,seriously. Although biggest part of you wants to kill me XD But if you will kill me then who will write new chapters? ;) I'm sure that nobody had an idea about what really happened there XD Maybe it wasn't worth Shizuru's mouth to drop, but it isn't something what you see everyday, is it? Anyway...

**Indian-Twilight** Did you have idea like this? If no I would like to know what kind of idea did you have ;)

**Ayou** No deaths? No fun T.T Well I'm not sure about ending yet, but I have some ideas P.S.I'm girl, what means Ms ;)

**lostinafeeling **I know my grammer isn't the best T.T And my beta corrects only big mistakes,but it is allready good too :) Big thanks for telling me about "Gomen" ;)

**SpiderLilies2007 **I didn't make my name "Bad one" just because I liked it XD By it I meant everything about me XD And now you know what I meant XD I'm very EVIL :p And yes Natsuki can't hide from Shizuru XD I think Shizuru could be a spy,she really is very obsersive :)

**LucyEllis **Hope you didn't die yet XD And hope I didn't dissapoint you :)

**kiangs **Yes I am :p Maybe not as good as Shizuru,but I like tease people ;)

**lindred** And if I won't then what:p Anyway here is what you wanted

**Damel aka Suqador** Who said she looked ;) About saving part... don't think I would fell if someone would save me in someway :p

**kikyo4ever** not exactly but close ;) And yes for me Shizuru or Natsuki with someone else is wrong,but I have to do it for my fics future XD

**Shizuruxnatsuki3** Really? Yay! I put new record by making cliff hangers :p

**Swarm012** Yes I do :) When I make cliff hangers I feel very proud of myself XD

**AmandaLamers** Yaiks! How will I continue if you kill me? o.o saw the smile I better go and start new chapter! runs away

**ssjx7squall **Well Natsuki asked Him and He is very kind so how could He say "No"? XD

**tears of the soul** Well it is unfair to bring her to life, but don't forget she was allready brought back after Carnival finished XD Anyway I still don't know how to end it so I have time to think ;)

Big thanks to all others who reviewed too ;) And thanks to my beta **AnomolyIdiotic ;)**

DISCLAIMER: Do you really want me to say it? Everybody shakes their heads in approve Damn! Ok I don't own Mai HiME! Happy? Everybody smiles

* * *

Chapter 8

Communication

During the days while Shizuru was in hospital Reito and other formal HiMEs came to visit her. I was so pleased to see that everybody cared. Even Reito didn't make me angry, although it still hurts to see them like this, but during the moment when he brought ear plugs for her, I would kiss him if I could! '_What the hell would I do if I could?! I spend to much time with Shizuru!'_ when the fan girls came and kept talking without stopping I would kill them if it was possible and I think Shizuru noticed it too, after all she teased me with this every time when we were alone.

I still tried to ignore her, but her teasing was too much and my body always reacted to them by heat. I kept my promise and didn't try to communicate although it was really hard sometimes not to shout or try to comfort her.

Finally came the day for Shizuru's return back home. I was so happy that I almost jumped around the room. It is very good that she couldn't see me. I was glad to hear that Reito will take her by car and that she wouldn't have to use bus. The journey didn't take long and at last we drove toward her mansion. Reito was asked to go home and not worry about her what made me a little happier. Now I will be the only one with her '_Wait! Doesn't it mean she will try to talk with me again?'_

"Reito come back you bastard!"

Of course he didn't hear me, nor did anyone else. Then it was Shizuru's maids who asked if she need any help, but they were immediately rejected. Although it took some time before they understood that she did need their help. Though I didn't want to stay with Shizuru alone fearing that she will start another conversation, but I also didn't want to see them by Shizuru's side. They always remind me Shizuru's fan girls who constantly pissed me off. When she started to tease them my hands immediately clenched into tight fists. I don't know why, but I always thought that Shizuru's teasing belongs only to me and no one else '_Do I really enjoy when she tease me?'_ Soon maids lost their hopes and Shizuru was a winner as always. Smiling she made her way towards bathroom and began to undress. My face started to burn like always, I turned around '_When will I be used to seeing her naked body? I can't be ashamed whole life!'_ Small giggle escaped from her mouth what made my body tense and me nervous '_I have a bad feeling about it…'_

"Ara, so I was right. My angel really _is_ following me everywhere" this comment made me blush even more, what made her giggle even harder "I don't mind my angel seeing me naked"

This time steam once more escaped from my ears '_Damn you Shizuru! It seems I will never be lonely without your teasing!'_ then was heard the running water. I sighed and looked at mirror which slowly became muddy. I stared at it trying to see something, to see myself. But nothing reflecting there wasn't similar to me '_Damn! It is so hard! I want to talk to her and at the same time I don't! What do I have to do?'_ I sighed once more and placed my hand on mirror, but I didn't expect the next thing which happened…

Uncertainly I moved my hand down and for my horror my handprint left on the mirror '_What?! How the hell did it happen!'_ I looked at my hand with terror in eyes.

"Why did you do that?!" I shouted shaking my hand and for my bigger horror water in the cabin stopped falling _'No!'_

Immediately I began to breath on the mirror hoping to make it misty again, but it was useless and before I could think about something better, the cabin door opened. Terrified I turned around and saw Shizuru with her jaw down _'Damn! Now she will think I want to reply! Well I want, but… NO BUTS BAKA! You will put her in danger!'_ before any other thoughts ran through my mind I heard Shizuru's voice.

"Ara" my eyes immediately met with hers. She was still surprised what made me hate myself for my stupidity, then I saw her grinning '_Oh no! Now I'm in big trouble!'_ "Did MY angel watch too much 'Titanic'?"

Hearing it my jaw dropped _'Titanic?! What does she mean?!_' it always comes slow to me, but when I understood what she meant, my body was going to explode!

"SHIZURU!!!" sad she didn't hear me.

"I wonder what my angel was imagining" she giggled.

"It's not what you think!" I shouted moving my hands in all directions.

Accidentally I touch the shampoo and conditioners bottles on the shelf, to my horror the bottles hit the floor making Shizuru look up in shock her mouth forming an 'O'.

"Is my angel trying to protest?"

'_What in the world is happening?! Why can I move objects?! I have to get out of here before something horrible happens!'_ and the horrible thing did happen… I turned around wanting to run through the doors, but my right hand accidentally brushed her towel which made it onto the floor. My eyes became like tennis balls and my body boiled '_SHIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTT!!!'_

"Ara," exclaimed Shizuru putting hand to her lips, but not trying to cover herself "I told my angel can see me naked, but I didn't say she can undress me… Ikezu" she smiled while looking as innocent as possible.

"It's not like that Shizuru!" _'BAKA! She doesn't hear you! Better run away before you do something stupid again!'_

Listening to my inner thoughts, I ran away. Outside the bathroom, I stood near the wall trying to recover and put all things in my head in right places '_What is going on?! Why did I move the objects when I didn't want_ _to!'_ I looked at my hands in front of me '_How does it work? HOW?!'_ Suddenly the door opened what made me jump and beautiful figure wrapped in towel entered the room.

"Ara, it is really cold there without my little, perverted angel' she winked moving towards the bed.

Embarrassment fully took control over my body making me all red "I'm not a PERVRT!"

_'Damn you Shizuru! Sometimes I wish you would never find out about me! Your teasing will be worse that's for sure! How can you tease someone, when you don't even see him or her?!'_ I don't think I will be able to find an answer to this question. While I was wondering Shizuru was already in bed, reading another book. The view made me blush even more.

"Ara, is my angel enjoying the view?"

"SHIZURU!"

"I wonder where are you standing right now?"

'_I wonder…'_ thinking I made my way towards Shizuru's nightstand. Clenching fingers into fists several times, I tried to move the lamp… nothing '_What? Why I can't move objects now? What am I doing wrong again?'_

"Ara, did I go too far? Kanin na my angel" she apologised which made my heart beat faster, well if I had a heart… Hearing her low and sad voice was too painful, so I tried again but still nothing happened.

"Are you really angry at me or… something is wrong? You know, I never heard about people who can talk with their guardian angel. Maybe you are breaking some rules to communicate with me?"

'_Hmm, you are close Shizuru but not exact'_ I smiled feeling relieve that she isn't upset anymore.

"Would you like to read book with me? It is pretty interesting"

_'I would love_ _too'_ my smile widened and I slowly lay down on the bed behind her, but not to close and if reading my mind she started to read. Finally I felt like I'm in heaven…

* * *

The first thing which I saw when I woke up was…

"Aaaaa!"

Reito was sitting near Shizuru's bed appreciating her beauty sleep, but what scared me was that his face was only inches away from mine. I don't know how it happened but Shizuru was lying in my arms and my chin was resting on her shoulder what means my face was covering her right cheek which Reito was going to kiss…

"No way!"

I screamed, jumping out of the bed just in time to miss his kiss, which slowly woke up Shizuru from her deep sleep. Uncertainly she opened her sleepy eyes and looked at Reito's bright smile.

"Good morning my sleepy hime!" he greeted her.

"Ara, Reito?"

"No, your father" he teased "Now wake up my hime!" he said pulling blankets off of her.

"Mou, Reito! Besides I'm not HiME anymore"

"I didn't mean it in that way, I meant princess" he smiled brightly.

"Do I look like princess?"

'_You look like goddess, Shizuru'_ I smiled still sitting on the floor and looking at them. For my biggest pleasure Reito repeated my thoughts on which Shizuru blushed _'Sad that it isn't me who made her blush, but it's still nice to see it on her face'_

After some more compliments Reito left the room letting Shizuru to change her pyjamas into something more daily. As soon as she started to change, I turned around and looked at the floor. During this time she didn't speak to me '_Why? Does she think that I'm pervert? Or maybe she doesn't want Reito to hear her? Yeh that must be the case… WAIT! Why do I want her to talk to me?! Didn't I promise that I won't communicate with her?! Aaaa! I'm_ _gonna_ _be crazy soon!'_ in a little while she was ready to go, but before leaving the room, she looked around. Smiling she pointed with her head to the door and opened it '_Does it mean you want me to follow?'_ big smile appeared on my face and standing I followed her. I would go after her anyway, but the thing that she wanted me to be by her side made me happier.

"So we are going to University together today?" asked Shizuru going downstairs with Reito and me behind them.

"Ara, who said we are going to University?"

"Pardon?" asked confused Shizuru.

"I informed them yesterday that you still need some rest and that I will take care over you today," he smiled brightly.

"Ara, so you will be my nurse today?"

"No, I will be you husband today" answered Reaito and took Shizuru bride style way.

"Ara…" said ashamed Shizuru with pink cheeks.

Reito only giggled and placed light kiss upon her lips "I hope you didn't change your mind"

"Ara, Never!"

"Good" still smiling, he carried her to his car.

I sat behind them still keeping eye on them. I was very happy to see Sizuru's delight face.

"So where are we going?"

"Hmm, would you like to see a movie?"

"Sure, which one?"

"Surprise" he grinned.

"Mou Reito, not fair" said Shizuru making disappointed face.

"Won't work Shi-zu-ru" he teased.

"I give up" she sighed.

"Good"

And so we drove away. If I was in Reito's place I don't think I would be able to bear with Shizuru's puppy eyes. Even now I wanted to hit him and force to tell her. It seems that he is much stronger than me… _'Who am I kidding? Of course he is! He is the same Shizuru but with little friend and without twins, I meant breasts! No wait… GAH!'_ thinking about their intimate places made me blush furiously and temperature in the car immediately rose.

"Its hot here" noticed Reito turning on conditioner '_It's your fault!'_ than I heard Shizuru's giggle "Why are you laughing" asked a little bit confused Reito.

"Nothing" replied Shizuru still smiling _'And yours too!'_

Angry at them for making me think such perverted things, I crossed my arms and looked through the window still red. Some time later, blush finally fell from my face but not the smile on Shizuru's face _'Now she will tease me till I die once more…'_ before I could think about something else the car stopped. Looking through the window I saw big cinema and in the next moment Shizuru and Reito exited the car. Walking through the door I followed them. As I thought, Reito took her to a romantic comedy, so I didn't even try to remember the title '_Geez! How people can enjoy it? It's so boring! Maybe if it was drama, I would feel better... It would suit more in my case…'_ I sat there on one of free seat's and from the corner of my eye, I watched my beloved. She was sitting two rinds behind me, hugging Reito and sometimes sharing sweet kisses with him.

Gentle smile crossed my face, seeing Shizuru happy made me feel better '_I still wish it was me there with you, but it's not a fairy tale…although who could thought that something like HiME exists… GAH! Better not think about it and not to make some stupid hopes!'_ so the rest of the movie I spent staring at my feet '_I wonder when did my feet became so interesting? Well they are transparent, but still?'_ I know my thoughts are stupid sometimes but what can I do?

After watching this long and boring movie Reito and Shizuru went to the Amusement Park. They really had a lot of fun there. They were riding lots of rides, but most of them were for couples. In the love boat I needed to turn around, so I wouldn't stare. I have to admit that being with them in one boat was more painful than I expected. I will never admit it to anybody, but I really wanted to be the one with Shizuru here… The time was moving too slow today, but I'm sure for them it was different. I really don't have anything against Reito, but seeing them together for such a long time made me uncomfortable and somehow sad.

The last thing where they went was big wheel. It was already sunset and I bet the view was very nice, but I didn't go… I think they need some privacy too _'Damn! How will I bare seeing them like this everyday when they get married? Better not think about it at the moment. I wonder how she is?'_ I thought while looking at cabin where Shizuru and Reito were sitting.

When they were back on the ground I smiled seeing her happy face. She was so excited and happy that I just couldn't take my eyes from her.

"Beautiful…" I whispered quietly and followed behind them.

It was already dark, but it seems Reito wasn't planning to take her back home yet. Now we were approaching through the park where weak lights illuminate the paths. Walking some more they sat on one of the benches. Shizuru shivered a little so Reito gave her his jacket and than pressed her tighter to his body on what Shizuru responded with a hug. I stood not far from them near one of lanterns. They looked so peaceful and happy that I didn't know what to do or feel…

"Ookini for nice day, Reito" said Shizuru placing sweet kiss on his cheek.

"Everything for you" he whispered what made her smile wider "You know…" he said after some time "I was thinking here. Maybe we should make something like party to celebrate our engagement, I hope you won't change your mind"

"Never… And I think it is a nice idea" she cuddled even closer

"Glad to hear it"

"Where will we make it? And who would you like to invite?"

"I was thinking about using my mansion, of course if you don't mind"

"No, I don't"

"Good. About guests… well first of all we have to invite all our friends and as horrible as it sounds, our fan club too"

"Why do we need them?"

"Well we need to keep our popularity if we want to continue our family business so we also have to invite businessmen and businesswomen"

"I see…"

"Don't worry, everything will be fine. I won't allow them to annoy you. Only I can do it" he smiled.

"Mou Reito!" pouted Shizuru "besides you are not annoying to me"

"Good…"

They stayed like this for some time before they decided to go home. Shizuru asked Reito to stay, but he said that she needs a good rest at the moment. After all it was also hard day today. Sharing last kiss, Reito drove back leaving Shizuru and me near entrance door. She stood there for some time, watching Reito's car disappear in the distance.

"It was a nice day, don't you think?" she asked making me look at her.

Beautiful smile played on her face and I couldn't move my eyes away from her. I reached my hand, wanting to touch her, feel her '_So near…'_ but stopped '_yet so far…'_ clenching fingers in light fist I pulled it back _'I can't touch her, even_ _if_ _I was allowed…'_

"Let's go home, it's getting called" said Shizuru opening the door.

Smiling a little bit, I followed after her. Shizuru slowly went upstairs to her room and than to the shower. Turning my back to her I looked at mirror pulling hands tightly to my sides. I didn't want another accident. After shower she went back to the room and lay on the bed with dreaming face. Looking at her I sat into the chair. After some time, she spoke again.

"You know, I never felt so happy before. It seems that my life soon will become as a dream"

_'But mine as nightmare in the beginning, but don't worry I will_ _get_ _over it'_ I smiled lovingly still looking at her beautiful figure.

"It is nice to talk to someone, sad you can't answer me…" her smile faded a little.

"Shizuru…"

_'She doesn't know me and I still make her sad? Why? Are we really so close? I can't bare it; I don't want her to be sad because of me… I…'_ I shut my eyes and opened them again looking at the comb near Shizuru's bed _'One time won't hurt, will it? I hope I will be able to do it…'_ Standing, I went to the nigh table and reach my arm. The thing I wanted to do was to move comb, to make Shizuru know that I'm here with her and that I'm sharing her happiness too. Taking deep breathe I tried to move comb and… it moved! I moved it till it finally fell from the desk and the hitting sound on the floor gained Shizuru's attention. Raising from the bed she looked in my direction.

"Ara?"

Watching her surprised face, I moved an alarm clock what made her mouth form another 'O' than it was replaced by big smile.

"You can move objects again?" She jumped from the bed "Please concentrate I'll be right back" she said running towards the drawer. I stood there watching how she was looking for something, but it seems she couldn't find it.

"Wait here! I'll be back in 5 minutes" she said standing on feet and showing with her hands that I don't have to move.

Finishing sentence she ran out of the room. I never saw her running before and seeing it made me smile '_I hope she won't_ _fall over_ _from excitement. So how does it work?'_ I looked at my hands trying to figure it out and then realization hit me '_Every time when I moved something I was sad. Well I was sad back then too… when Shizuru heard me for the first time, but I couldn't move anything later… maybe I can move and communicate when my love is clear and pure? Because then I was miserable and mad… I'm not sure but I think I'm right. I just have to concentrate on my true and pure feelings...'_ before I could go deeper into my thoughts, trying to figure out how my power works… Shizuru ran into the room with small box in her hands. She was all sweaty and it seems she will have to go to the shower once more. I stood there watching how sweat slowly ran down from her neck to her curves and listening her hard breathing made me feel hot '_I hope her maids didn't have nosebleed'_

"I found it!' she breathed out smiling widely "Oh, it's getting warm here! Are you enjoying something?" she teased making me even hotter "Forgive me for my teasing but I can't help it" she giggled "I hope you still can move objects"

As prove I moved her alarm clock once more.

"Good! Now we will be able to communicate" smiling she sat on her bed, opening the box.

_'I wonder what she has on her mind?'_ and as an answer she pulled out cards with hieroglyphs _'What? Does she want me to put words? It is stupid! I will be looking for ages to find correct symbol! Bad I didn't study English!'_

"Ah! Found them" said Shizuru placing 2 cards on bed "Ok my dear angel, look. Here are 2 cards. On has writing 'Yes" and second "No'. I will ask you simple questions and I hope you will be able to answer me by moving one of this cards. Do you understand me?"

I let out breathe '_You made me worry there, Shizuru. Good thing you are smart and understand that it is stupid too look through all hieroglyphs. I hope my theory is right…'_ concentrating on my feelings I reached the arm and tried to move one of the cards. The card 'yes' moved from its place and Shizuru's smile became bigger than her face.

"Good! Now what question should I ask you? Oh I know! So you are my guardian angel?"

'Yes'

"And you are female, right?"

'Yes' '_I wouldn't allow male angel to go to bath with you!'_

"And you are following after me everywhere?"

'Yes' '_Of course I'm following you everywhere! How can I leave you?'_

"Even to the bathroom and toilet?"

My face turned red and I slowly moved the card 'Yes' _'Did you really had to ask it?'_

Shizuru giggled what means temperature rose once more "You didn't have to move the card, I already felt your answer by rising temperature in the room" _'Damn you Shizuru! I knew you wanted to tease me!'_ "I wonder why the temperature rose today, during our ride. What kind of perverted thoughts did my angel have?" her smile turned into teasing one.

My body boiled and I quickly started to move another card 'No, no, no, no… no!'

"Ara, why are you so energetic? Maybe I did tell the truth?"

'DAMN YOU SHIZURU!!!'

"Ok, ok I will stop" she laughed "Another question, do you have a name?"

Calming down I answered her 'Yes' _'And what did she expect? Did she think I have something like number? If I did have it I don't think I would be able to remember it… There is too much angels there!'_

"Is it Japanese one?"

'Yes'

"Oh! So I have a chance to guess it later. Will you talk with me later?"

_'It's a hard question, you know? How should I answer her? If I say 'yes' and won't be able to answer she will be sad. If I will say 'No' she will be sad too… How about…'_ I reached my arms and moved both cards.

"Ara? Does it mean you are not sure?"

'Yes'

"Does it mean you don't know how to control your power?"

'Yes'

"Sad… I don't want to stop our conversation, but I think it is late and I should go to bed but before that I have one little but very important question"

Her last words made me somehow nerves, but I wanted to answer her and I hoped I would be able to help her in some case.

"Are you happy for me?" '_What? What do you mean Shizuru?'_ "Sorry if I confused you, I mean I would like to know your opinion about Reito and our marriage. I already made my decision but it would be nice to hear your opinion. After all you are my guardian angel" she smiled innocently and my ghost heart cracked.

_'Is it really so important for you to know what I think? Shizuru I…I'm so happy that you are happy. I know it hurts sometimes to see you with Reito and know that I will never be with you… Is it how you felt towards me when I rejected you? I'm so sorry… Reito is good person and I see that you are really happy with him, so…'_ I reached my arm and once more moved the card.

'Yes'

* * *

Ok people I know you thought about something bigger but I made step forward didn't I? And besides I didn't do cliff hanger this time XD So you can have some rest :) Because in next chapter I plan to make engegement party :P So wait for it ;) And reviews are always welcome ;)

P.S.I'm still not sure about ending so I also would like to hear what do you want to see in the end? ;)


	10. Ball and chains

Hello people! Sorry for taking so long! Was a little bit busy… Besides I have test in math soon, so… But I'll try to not make you wait too long! Also big thanks for telling me what ending you want. Now I know how I will end it :) But I still need to work on some details :p

About chapter... If you don't like the dress I chose for Shizuru, you always can imagine yours one XD

**ssjx7squall**Yeh I know… My beta corrects only main mistakes, not all :/ So please forgive me! But you can correct me and I'll try to correct them too ;) I think all chapters were kind of depressed ones XD And it is not the last one like this ;)

**Natsuki Kuga**Glad to hear that you are happy ;) And at last someone hugged, but not tried to kill XD Hope I will make your wish come true today too ;)

**Rainee-chan **It seems you will like all kind of endings XD So I can mess up with ending :p

**kiangs **Well it was main idea to make you all feel painful while reading this fic XD

**kikyo4ever**Shizuru's baby 0.o Only imagine how Natsuki will feel knowing Reito is her father XD She will have nightmares XD

**silverstri** you mean whole story ending? I already have idea about ending;) But I won't say is it bad or good one :p Well if to remember Natsuki already has 2nd chance which was given her after carnival ;) And won't forget that we are talking about HiME where happened a lot what can't happen in reality ;) But still not telling you what I have planed… maybe this time she won't be so lucky, who knows :)

**Ayou **Don't worry ;) I forgive you XD Not sure about how many chapters, maybe 20… but not more than 25 for sure XD Maybe less, who knows XD

**tears of the soul**Sorry but what did you mean by Luigi board? Also sorry for making yoo wait too long ;)

**glowie **It seems you will accept different endings too :) Never thought about using Reito's body XD Have to think about it ;) I also hope your ShizNat fan girl in me won't kill me later when I will finally finish it XD

**SpiderLilies2007**It was the main idea for this last 'Yes' XD Well Reito was nice guy in HiME so I couldn't make him bad XD As me XD XD XD

Demel aka Sugador Yeh XD Now she won't have to pay for heating XD You can kill Shizuru only in your dreams! At the moment… XD I'm glad that you liked this chapter and that you are interested even without cliff hanger :) I also hope you will upload your work soon ;)

Thank you to everybody who reviewed and read it! I'm so happy to know that you people like my work :)

Also thanks to my beta for her work, although maybe there is someone who would like to help me more?

DISCLAIMER: Why do I always have to say it? Yes! I don't own Mai HiME! But I think it would be better if I did XD

* * *

Chapter 9

Ball and chains

Days past and Shizuru was already going to University. As I found out Reito was doing the same course as she and what made it worse was that Reito was sitting next to her.

During these passed days, Shizuru always found a time to try and communicate with me. I tried all my best to lessen our communication, but her sad voice and puppy eyes made it impossible so I gave up and answered her in the way we used: moving one of the cards. Every time Shizuru tried to find as much information as possible about me and the after life. I couldn't say a lot, because I haven't see heaven yet but the places which I saw were very nice and beautiful. Also she tried to figure out my name. She even bought a big book with almost all Japanese girls' names and with all possible meanings for them. The search was long and we already have looked through half of the book. If to be true it was already getting boring, but than I heard it.

'Yes'

"Ara?" looked surprised Shizuru from top of the book on moved card "So your name is Natsuki? Really?"

'Yes'

"What a cute name you have! Lets see what does it mean… Ok first meaning is "Vegetation" (Na) and "Moon" (Tsuki). Moon? I think sun would suit you better. Ok next one is "Summer" (Natsu) "Princess" (Ki) or "summer" (Natsu) "hope" (Ki(bo)) or "tree" (Ki). I think this one fits you better. After all you are my summer, because it is always warm when you are near, especially when I'm taking a shower" the last comment made me blush "Ara, are you blushing again? KAWAIII! Sad I can't see it" she smiled brightly _'Shizuru when will you stop teasing me?'_ "You know, this name seems somehow familiar…" my eyes widened '_Please don't say what I think you will say! I don't want your memory back! I really should stop communicating with you! I still wonder how did God didn't caught me?'_

"I know it seems funny, but really I feel that that name means something important to me… I don't remember having friend with such a name but still… Ok, don't pay attention to my mumbling. If to be true I had similar feelings before, when I saw some things. Things like flowers (which were in garden, don't know their name), motorcycles although don't know why. I have never ridden one or mayonnaise which I hate, but it still seems that there is some connection between me and all this stuff. I still try to figure out what kind of connection it is, but…" Shizuru's face became sad.

'Shizuru… does it mean that some memories about me still lives in your memory? But how? Wasn't God supposed to delete all memories connected with me? Did he make a mistake? Or our connection is too big to be fully destroyed? Maybe I really shouldn't become your angel; it is getting too dangerous… But if I won't see your face… I don't think I will be able too continue my after life…'

"I think I'm talking too much today" her voice returned me back to reality "It's not the time to feel sad. My engagement party is going to be in two days and I really have to get ready" her face lightened remembering what is waiting for her "Will you help me? I know you already helped me with invitations, but now I need your help to choose a dress, so will you?" she asked making puppy eyes and looking at the cards.

'_Shizuru, why are you doing this to me? I think you already figure out that I can't resist you! And do you really call it help, our last task? I didn't know any of these people and I think you got even more tired, because of telling me who is who. I really can't communicate with you, but… I already went so far… There is no point in stopping right now… So yes, I will help you… I will choose the most beautiful dress you have ever worn'_

'Yes'

Shizuru's face became so happy, that my body froze not wanting to move, just sit there and appreciate the beauty in front of me.

"Thank you so much…" she whispered in husky voice, making me feel weak.

'Everything for you, my dear Shizuru…'

* * *

Our communication ended there, but not for too long. Soon we were walking in the street among different shops, trying to find the best one where we could choose something very gorgeous and stunning. First of all she wanted to go to some small shops, but I always stopped her, by holding the door. After all I'm already very good in controlling my power. Shizuru tried to protest, but I firmly stood on mine. I didn't want her to buy dress from some poor shops. I wanted her to buy a good and worthy one. After all it isn't some kind of stupid party. It is her engagement one! The party which she needs to remember for her whole life…

Finally understanding what I want from her, we went to the one of the best clothing shops in area. You could find whatever you wanted here and my eyes were already running through the lingerie, but remembering why I came here in the first place and that I can't wear one of them anymore, I shook my head _'Natsuki concentrate. You can't buy them, besides you are here to help Shizuru so go on and do your job properly' _The lingerie could be found on second floor, but dresses and stuff like this on third one. We went upstairs and soon found ourselves among hundred of different dresses.

"Well, it is you who wanted to come to good shop" smiled Shizuru "hope you are ready to go through all of them"

_'Damn! I didn't know there is so many of them! Well promise is a promise…'_ taking deep breath I followed after my goddess.

We have looked at a loot of different dress types, but I still didn't see what I would like to see. Shizuru had already took some dresses into her hands and was now going to the changing room, although I thought none of the dresses would be worthy on her graceful curves. While she was changing, I was travelling among dresses once more; trying to find something perfect and finally I saw what I wanted.

Rapidly, I ran towards changing room hoping to get Shizuru's attention. I didn't have any better ideas, so I started to move curtains.

"Ara, who is there?" _'Oh come on, Shizuru! You have to know who it is!'_ "Natsuki is that you?" I shook curtain once more "That's good. So what do you want? Do you want to see me in some of these dresses? Sorry, but all of them don't suit me… or do you want to see me naked again? Natsuki, Ikezu… I have such a perverted angel!"

_'WH-WHA???!!! SHIZURU! That's not it! Damn you woman! When will you stop teasing me?!'_ soon I heard her giggle.

"Ara, gomen. I couldn't help it. But at least it is very warm here now" she giggled once more _'I'm not your__personal heater__, Shizuru!'_ "So what did my angel want?" _'And how do you want me to answer you?'_ "Ara, forgive me. I forgot you can't talk yet. Do you want to show me something?" I pushed the curtain "Do I have to take it as yes?" I pushed curtain once more "Ok, I'll be ready in a minute"

Stepping a little back, I stood with crossed hands in front of me and waited for her to exit the changing room. I still felt hot from embarrassment, but gratefully not as much as before. Shizuru didn't lie. It really took her some moments to finally come out and face me. Well not really face me, she still couldn't see me but at least I could see her. A little smile crossed my face, when my eyes looked straight into her deep, ruby ones.

"So, what did my dear angel wanted to show me?"

I turned around and went towards the object which caught my attention, but of course on the way I was moving all other dresses so she could see where I am leading her. Finally I stood in front of the object that I wanted to see on her. I shook the dress, so Shizuru would understand on which one to look.

"Ara, are you sure about it?" she asked a little bit surprised.

'_Positively'_ I shook the dress again.

"Well if you insist, I'll try it" she took the dress and went to the changing room once more.

I followed her and placed my self near her cabin, impatient to see her in dress. I was sure that she will look astonishing in it, but imagining and seeing real her in dress is two different things. After some moment's, curtain opened and goddess stood in front of me. There she was dressed into shining, a little bit light blue dress with golden-green snake on the bottom of it, made from diamonds. Snakes green eyes sparkled when the light fell on it. The dress was perfectly sitting on Shizuru's body, showing all her shaped curves. On each shoulder was two shining, long brown buttons which hold front and back part of the dress. I stood there not able to take my eyes from her. She looked even better than I thought. Now I was really jealous that all this beauty won't be by my side during this big evening. She turned around, showing me herself from all sides before facing me for a second time and asking.

"What do you think?" I stood there wanting to say all that I thought and felt, but wasn't even able to say simple 'Yes' It was so hard, but I took myself under control and shook nearest dress so she could understand my simple answer "Do I have to take it as yes too?" I repeated myself and big smile appeared on her beautiful porcelain face "I like it too. Ookini my dear angel" a genuine smile formed on my lips hearing it "It seems Natsuki knows about my fondness of snakes" she said looking at it "I really do like them and I really miss my child Kiyohime…" _'As much as I miss my Duran'_ "Now when I will look at this snake I will remember it, one more times Ookini" and with those words she entered the cabin.

The one thing what caught my attention, indeed was the snake which made an illusion that it is moving when light fell on it. I knew how dear Kiyohime was for her and I was sure she would like it. And I was right… She did like it.

After changing, she hung all other dresses on their places, but the one which I chose she took to the counter. After paying for it we exited the shop.

"Now I think I'm ready…" she said smiling brightly.

* * *

The big day finally came… Although everything was going to happen at Reito's mansion, Shizuru was still worried that something can go wrong. To be true I didn't understand her worries, after all it wasn't her wedding yet. But I tried all my best to comfort her somehow. We were sitting in her room, trying to communicate in our primitive way, but it is better than nothing. She asked different kind of questions, but most of them were about me. She has already found out a lot about me during these days, but it seems she always found something new to ask.

Finally came the time for her preparation. She took nice shower, but of course not without teasing me. After the shower she read a book, waiting till her hair will dry and after all these waiting I was able to see her in this beautiful dress once more. She just finished all her preparations, when someone knocked on the door.

"Come in"

The door opened and young maid entered the room "Excuse me Fujino-san, but Kanzaki-san is already waiting"

"Tell him I'll be ready in a minute"

"Hai, Fujino-san"

And she left, closing door behind her. Shizuru stood for some time in the middle of the room before asking me.

"Will you go with me?"

So I moved the card which still lay on her bed '_How can I say no? You are so beautiful today and it is one of your special days. I have to be with you and I want too…'_

'Yes'

"Ookini" she said smiling, before exiting the room and me behind her.

Downstairs near the exit door stood Reito, dressed in black suit and waiting for Shizuru. Hearing her footsteps he turned around to greet her.

"Hello my dear…" but stopped seeing her. His eyes slowly moved along her figure appreciating every part of it, I bet if it was someone else I would bit him for staring like this but… "You are the most beautiful creature I have ever seen…" he said after long pause.

"Ara, Reito thinks I'm creature?"

"That's not what I meant!" it seems he was finally caught in Shizuru's trap too "I wanted to say that you are more beautiful than goddess. Although I didn't see any of them, but I bet they can't be compared with you"

'Well… goddesses don't exist, but no angel can be compared to her that's for sure… I know it…'

"Arigatou, Reito" she smiled standing in front of him.

"Lets go?" he asked preparing his hand so she could hold on it.

"Yes"

And so we sat down into Reito's limousine and Shizuru's special evening began…

* * *

PVC Shizuru

Finally one of my happiest days has come. I was sitting in the limousine with my most precious person and with angel by my side. What can be better? Well maybe the part which waits for me at mansion. I hugged Reito closer to me, putting my head on his shoulder.

"Tell me Reito…"

"Hmm?"

"Do you like my dress?"

"Of course! It is one of the best dresses I have ever seen. No… It is the best of best dresses. And it seems Kiyohime is on it too"

"You noticed?"

"How could I not notice it? It is very beautiful and looks very nice on dress and especially on you"

"Ookini, Reito…" _'And big Ookini to you, Natsuki… if it wasn't you, I don't think I would notice it… you are really my angel. Ookini God for sending her to me…'_

Some time past and finally we were in front of Reito's house. He took my hand into his and smiling looked at me.

"Ready?"

"Always" I smiled back.

The door of the car opened and we were greeted by hundred of shouts. All our friends stood in front shouting and cheering for us, but I have to admit… No one can be compared to our fan girls who were standing behind everybody (including businessmen and businesswomen) and cheering so loud that I think they could be heard some miles away from here. The only ones who weren't present were our parents who were too busy to come. But they promised to come to our wedding.

"Finally you came!" shouted annoyed Nao _'And what did I expect from her?'_

"Yeh, finally! I'm hungry!" _'Mikoto, you are always so cute'_

"Mikoto! It's not polite!" corrected Mai, before shouting to us "How cute!"

"Yeh! Party, party!" shouted Midori.

_'All of them will never change…And I'm grateful for that…'_ Smiling I walked with Reito by my side, stepping on red carpet beneath us. Everything was perfect; it seems my dreams slowly, started to come true…

The entrance door swung open before us and with slow steps we entered the mansion. I have been at Reito's mansion many times, but it was never so decorated before. The big ball room was decorated with colourful tapes and some of them had wishing or congratulations on it. Also there could be find a lot of different flowers which were placed in vases. Seeing all these, I had a feeling that it is my wedding today, but it still was only an engagement party.

We walked through the big room to the stairs. Stepping on some of them we turned around to face our guests. All of them wear happy faces making me feel warm. Even our fan girls didn't irritate me. Everything was perfect…

"Dear guests! We are glad to greet you on our engagement party. I hope you all will have good time and enjoy yourselves today" started Reito.

"Hey!" interrupted Midori who was standing in front of us in her usual teachers uniform "And when is the marriage?!"

"Hmm… How about next month? Shizuru, do you agree?"

"Yes…" _'How could I say no?'_

"Then it will be next month and you all are invited!"

"Yeh!" shouted everybody in one voice.

"The exact date we will tell you later, because we still have to think about it…" loving smile played on his lips "Now let the party begin!"

"Hey!" shouted Midori once more.

"Oh will you shut up already!" roared Nao, grabbing Midori by her shirt.

"Yes Midori! I want to eat!" shouted Mikoto, but Mai just stood not far from her, shaking her head in disbelief. A bigger smile appeared on my face seeing them like this.

But Midori just ignored their protests "And what about your dance? You have to open the evening first!"

"For you information I want to eat too!" was heard Nao's hush hissing voice.

I felt really sorry for Midori when Nao and Mikoto took her out of the room and with Haruka behind them, shouting "Where are your managers?!" and corrected by Yukino "Manners Haruka-chan" It seems my smile won't be able to fade today.

"Hmm… Midori is right. What do you think Shizuru?"

"I fully agree. Let's begin the evening"

Smiling at each other we stepped into the middle of the room, when everybody stepped back making more space. We stood into dancing position and slow music was played by musicians in the corner of the room. As soon as music started to play we leisurely began to dance. We moved and circled, smiling at each other and not seeing anyone else. All that was important was us… Happiness found its way inside of me, filling every part of my body with pleasant sensations. One more time I thought about how good and perfect was today's day. I wished that this moment would never end, but then… I saw her… There among the crowd stood pale figure with dark long, blue hair, but what caught my attention more were her eyes… Her beautiful green eyes looked straight into mine filling me even with stronger emotions, but than… '_Pain… is it pain in her eyes? But why? Is it one of my jealous fan girls? If yes… then why I feel so sad now?'_ and then I saw it… she was transparent…

TBC

* * *

Mini feed.

Mystery person dressed in a black cloak tries to hide but…

Angry readers: Hey you!

Mystery person: stops Y-yes?

Angry readers: Have you seen author?!

Mystery person: Looks around and sees bakamoy There she is!

Bakamoy: Huh?

Angry readers: Kill author for another cliff hanger! runs towards her

Bakamoy: What?! I agreed to be your bodyguard not replacement!

Mystery person: tries to escape

Shizuru: Ara, and where is author going? takes off cloak from…ME!

Angry readers: There she is! sees real author

Bad one: Yaiks! Shizuru baka! What have you done?!

Natsuki: How did you call MY Shizur?! Only I can call her 'Baka'! materializes guns

Shizuru: Natsuki is so sweet!

Bad one: W-wait… I-I-I…

Everybody attacks author

Bakamoy!: I'll save you! jumps into the middle of the fight

…Sorry, but people younger than 16 have to close their eyes… BECAUSE OF VIOLENCE!!!

* * *

People don't forget that if you kill me, you won't see next chapter!

Now all that I want is that you pushed button below and wrote down everything that you think, feel or what do you want to do to me at the moment! The last part scares me the most 0.o


	11. Dream world

Wow! So many reviews 0.0! I'm so happy XD Sad that half of you wants to kill me T.T I don't want even imagine what you will do to me after reding this chapter x.x Anyway I'm here with new one ;) If I don't mistake it is Shizuru's birthday today, right? Anyway here it is what you waited for. My beta has already checked main mistakes so there will be less now ;)

I also have mentioned that it would be nice if someone could correct my chapters better ;) So I would need second beta Who would like to try?

So many of you have reviewed, so I will have to answer you in private XD The unregistered users will get their answer... NOW!

**Baka-moy **Glad to hear that my bodyguard is here with me :)

**firecaster-hikaru **That's true, that is why somewhere in the begining Mai said that some things seems familiar to her too. But still no one was so close to Natsuki as Shizuru, so I think it is normal that only Shizuru is able to see or hear Natsuki ;)

If I'm right then... HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHIZURU!!! Tease Natsuki more often ;)

DISCLAIMER: And as always I don't own HiME/Otome TT But I'm still dreaming about it XD

* * *

Chapter 10

Dream world

… She was transparent…

I blinked not believing my eyes. I looked at her with surprise not knowing what to think or do about it, then… Reito started to circle once more and I lost her sigh. When we stopped and started to move in place, my eyes started to ran from one face to another, trying to find these green orbs which made my heart beat faster. But no sign of them was seen. The ghost like form disappeared as suddenly as it appeared '_Was it my imagination? No it can't be…Imagination couldn't make me feel like this…sad and happy at the same time…'_

"Shizuru, is something wrong?" asked Reito in a concerned voice.

I raised my head and looked into his deep purple eyes. Eyes full with love and worry looked into mine, searching for answer… My heart skipped a beat…

"I'm fine…" I lied, I had felt so confused. My heart has never beaten so fast before '_What is going on with me?'_

"You're lying…" my eyes looked into his once more, my mask crashed and sadness was seen on my face "What happened, Shizuru? Did I do something wrong?"

His gentle and loving voice made me feel even worse "No, it's not you… I just feel not very well… Maybe it's because of all this circling?"

"Do you want us to stop?"

"No, let's finish our dance"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes… "

"If you will feel worse tell me" he whispered into my ear, making me stop breathing.

"I will…"

And so we continued our dance, although I didn't enjoy it so much antmore. It seems that my entire good mood just disappeared '_I need to talk with my angel. Was it her right now? If yes then why was she sad? Didn't she say she is happy for me? What happened? And what is more important… why did I see her?' _While I was lost in thoughts, music stopped and loud applauses were heard. I took step back from Reito, releasing him from my grip and with apologetic eyes looked at him.

"Will you excuse me? I don't feel well… I need some fresh air…"

"Do you want me to make you company?"

"No, I'm fine. Don't worry… I'll be back soon" smile appeared on my face and Reito's tensed body relaxed a bit.

"If you will need help, call me"

"Thank you, Reito" I gave him sweet kiss on cheek before going outside the mansion.

Reito had very beautiful garden in front of the house, so I went there and sit down on the bench, underneath one of the cherry trees. I looked around, making sure I was alone. Taking some air in, I spoke.

"Are you here, Natsuki?" but no answer came.

'_Where is she? Isn't she supposed to be always by my side? Wait! Here there are no objects that she could move! Think Fujino! How else can I get answer from her?' _before I had some ideas I heard how branches of the tree above me started to shake '_Wind? There is no wind… Could it be?' _

"Ara, has my angel climbed on the tree?" as an answer branches shook once more "Smart girl" I smiled "But be careful and don't fall or you will break something" '_Ara? Break something? She can't break anything! She doesn't have body!' _"Ara, forgive me. I forgot that you don't have body, will you forgive me?" yes, she did forgive me and my smile grew wider, but soon it faded when I remembered why I really called her "Natsuki, I have some questions… Hope you will be able to answer" another shake of branches "Good, ok from where I should start… Natsuki, do you have long hair?" positive answer "And green eyes?" this time it took some time before answer came '_Is she nervous?'_ "You know, I think I just saw you… While dancing I saw beautiful girl's face with long, blue hair and deep green eyes. And what caught my attention more was that she was transparent… What means it couldn't be a human and if your answers are true then it really was you. Do you know how it happened? Why I was able to see you?" I waited but no answer came "Have you realized that it had happened?" again no answer "Maybe it really was my imagination, after all no one else has seen you… Sorry for bothering you, it really has to be my imagination. I think I should go back, after all Reito is worried. Will you excuse me?" answer didn't come at once, but I didn't have to wait for too long "Thank you, I hope you will come with me too" smiling I stood up and went back to the mansion.

PVC Shizuru ends

* * *

I sat on the tree watching Shizuru walked back to the mansion. She asked me to come with her, but I couldn't make myself to do it. Shock was still inside of me making me scared and nervous. Hundred of questions ran through my head, but no answer was found '_She saw me… How did it happen? It wasn't her imagination, it really was me there among the crowd…But why others didn't see me then? What is going on here? Did I…did I go too far? I need help…But whom? Who can help me? Jack…Yes, he is the one who can give me advice. But his advice will be stay away from her…No, I have to find out what is going on here!' _Stopping my train of thoughts, I jumped on the ground and looked around. Although no one could see me, but after incident with Shizuru I had to be careful. 

"Jack!" I shouted and once more he appeared in front of me, sending bright light in different directions. It still surprised me that every time I called, he was able to come.

"Natsuki! What are you doing?" were his first words which made me confused.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't make fool of yourself! You know what I'm talking about!" I looked at him with raised eyebrows "I'm talking about Shizuru and your communication with her!"

Hearing it, I jumped on him closing his mouth "Quiet you! I don't want God to hear us!"

He pushed my hands away "You should think about it earlier! He already knows!"

"What?" shock was evident on my face when I heard it "But… why doesn't He say anything?"

"You know He is busy, you are not alone in this huge world… But now I have a chance to warn you. Stop it; stop it before it isn't too late!"

"Maybe it is late" I looked to the side.

"What?" now it was his time to be surprised "Did she…did she remember you?"

"No" I looked at him again "But it seems she saw me…"

"Saw you?"

"Yes, some moments ago… she said she saw transparent blue-haired girl, with green eyes among the crowd. What means she saw me, but I can't get it… why? Why no one else could see me?"

"So it's happening… Your powers are increasing, Natsuki… But I don't know why. It has never happened before. Maybe your bond with Shizuru is too big that even God's powers can't control it. I wonder why He still allows you to be her angel after all that happened. You have to stop communication with her now!"

"But I can't just stop talking to her! I mean answering in the way we used to… I need to warn her"

"Hmm… there is a chance. You can enter her dream"

"Dream? But won't it be more dangerous?"

"No, dreams are the safest place for communication. After all we, angels, enter human dreams sometimes when we want to warn or comfort them"

"If it safest way, maybe I could always enter her dreams?"

"I said we enter them when it is necessary, if we will do it all the time, people won't be able to do something by themselves and also we close themselves to another people. All we do have to be done after thinking what kind of consequences can happen. Dreams are safe when you use them when it is necessary. What means you can do it, but only once"

I sighed when my hope to communicate with Shizuru was fully destroyed "How can I do it?"

"Simple. When she falls asleep, come to her side or lie down near her. Then put one hand on her head, close your eyes and concentrate. It isn't hard so you will be able to do it. And don't forget… as soon as you enter her dream world, you are the one who is controlling it. Everything that you want will appear, but be careful with your wishes. And of course she will see and hear you"

"Are you sure it is safe?"

"Yes"

"If you say so…"

"Remember, no communication after that! Do you understand me?"

"Yes…But, if she will see me again?" I answered lowering my head.

"If you will stop communicating with her, your powers have to become weaker. Hope we understand each other? I don't want you to have problems later"

"I understand, thank you for caring about me"

"Well, after all I'm the one who took you to this world…" with those words he disappeared.

'_Well, at least she will be safe…I don't want her to remember…' _sighing for another time, I went to the Reito's mansion to see what is happening. I didn't bother by going to the door so I just went through the wall. I looked around and saw Shizuru's beautiful, smiling face who was enjoying her evening with Reito and others '_Good that her mood has returned, now I need to hide…Don't want any others incidents to happen tonight' _I bent down a little trying to hide among dancing crowd. Soon I reached Shizuru and stood behind her. Every time she turned, I followed her trying all my best not to be in her sight.

The evening past and soon everybody were starting to go home. But before that a lot of things have happened. In the end of the evening a drunk, tied up Midori was found swinging from tree. Haruka started to investigate, looking for one who did it. The first suspected was Nao who only smirked saying she doesn't know how it happened, but my bets were her. After all she is master in tying up.

I'm sure Reito's cooks had the best day ever. Don't know how she did it, but Mikoto ate almost everything that could be found on tables. I hope she won't be sick or Mai will have long night or better say morning today, because it was four o'clock when everybody started to go home.

In one word everybody had a lot of fun today and what was even more pleasant that Shizuru wasn't sad anymore. It seems that she really had one of the best days today. Whole evening she spent dancing and just enjoying Reito's company. Of course they were interrupted several times, by some businessman/woman talking about economy stuff or some other stupid things. And of course by fan girls who didn't shut up even for a minute asking them random questions as 'Are you happy together?' 'Where are you gonna go on your honeymoon?' 'Where are you gonna live after marriage?' 'How many children would you like to have?' and so on till no end. I thought I would punch them all but for my great pleasure big minds always find the way out. Don't know how but Shizuru and Reito managed to get rid of them and they were as happy as before leaving. But… there always were found some people who just didn't let go. All different kind of businesspeople attacked with hundred of questions but before giving any answers, Reito spoke to Shizuru why no one listened.

"Better go home, dear. I will deal with them"

"But I want to be here with you"

"You need a rest. Don't want you to get tired because of these non shutting mouths. So go home. My driver will take you and I promise to visit you in the morning"

"Promise?"

"Yes"

"Then I'll be waiting"

Sharing last kiss for the night, Shizuru went to the limousine while Reito back to businesspeople. All Shizuru's expression told that she wasn't happy with events like these. She sat in the limousine, staring through window at night city. I sat there with not better expression. The things and words which were made and said today once more appeared in my memory. Remembering what I had to do, made me shake a little '_I have to…It's better for us…for her…' _

After trip which took some minutes, but looked like ages, we were finally near Shizuru's mansion. Saying goodbye to driver, she entered the house. No one greeted us, because of the late hour but it didn't disappoint us. We went to her bedroom, where she got changed and took a shower. I didn't blush this time. Thoughts about what has to be done made it impossible to think about anything else. After nice shower, Shizuru exited the bathroom and sat on her bed. Small smile found its place on her beautiful, porcelain face.

"Natsuki, are you here?" As an answer I moved alarm clock on her night stand '_It is my last communication with you, Shizuru' "_Good, you know it was one of my best days today. Sad that I couldn't spend rest of it with Reito. I will have to punish all these people for ruining my evening" she laughed gaining weak smile from me "I'm happy that you were with me today. It was really important for me. Hope you will be by my side during the wedding too" '_Shizuru, you make things worse now…How can I say that I can't communicate with you anymore?' _"Well it is time to go to bed, but first of all…"

With those words she stood up and took her hairdryer. I sat on her bed appreciating her beautiful body and hair. The wet hair looked very nice on her, making her look like mermaid which just jumped out from the water, blessing world with her appearance and beauty. When Shizuru finished, she changed into pyjama and saying "Good night, my angel" in sweet voice passed to the dream world.

I sat there waiting for some time while she will fully fell asleep. Making sure that she was sleeping I stood from the edge of the bed and went closer to her. My green orbs ran along her body, admiring every part of it. Then my gaze stooped upon her face which peacefully slept, shining in the moonlight.

"Shizuru…" I breathed placing my hand upon her cheek.

With smile I carefully caressed it and Shizuru's lips formed a warm smile making me freeze and feel even worse _'It has to be done…' _with those words, I closed my eyes and concentrated on the contact which I made. Some time passed before I started to drift asleep too.

* * *

PVC Shizuru 

'_Dark…why is it dark here? Where am I? What's going on?' _hundred of questions ran through my head, when I found myself surrounded by blackness. Nothing could be seen in this dark place, I couldn't even see my own hands. Panic started to form inside of me, making me nervous. Suddenly a light appeared and not waiting too long I moved towards it, hoping to find better and brighter place. A place which wouldn't make me nervous, but then I saw her… The light started to fade and young woman came out of it, smiling at me. Although the light had disappeared, I still could see her. It wasn't dark anymore, but blackness still surrounded us.

"Who are you? And where am I?" I asked.

"Don't you recognize me?" she answered, still going closer to me.

"Have we met?"

"Didn't you say that you have seen a ghost form somewhere in the crowd while dancing with Reito?"

"But it wasn't real…"

"It was… I'm your angel Shizuru, I'm Natsuki"

I looked at the girl in front of me and then I saw it. The same deep green eyes, which made me freeze and dark blue hair, which made her look paler then she really was. But she wasn't transparent…

"Natsuki… but how is it possible?"

"I have entered your dream, because I need to tell you something…"

"So it is a dream?"

"Yes…"

Then it hit me… she was talking!

"Wait?! You can talk?!"

"Just now…"

Her voice was deep and full with emotions which I couldn't figure out at the moment "You have very beautiful voice. Maybe you could enter my dreams more often, so I could enjoy it frequently and of course I would like to see your stunning face too" I smiled and then I saw a blush forming on girls face '_Cute…'_

"I'm not cute"

"Huh?"

"I'm in your dream… so I can read your mind"

"Ara, not fair! I want to know what my angel is thinking too!"

"I'm thinking that you are beautiful… sad I can't say it all the time to you" the most beautiful smile I have ever seen appeared on her face.

Don't know why, but her comment and that smile…It made my heart to beatt faster. Suddenly I felt my cheeks becoming warm… a light blush appeared on my face making me even more confused _'What is going on? Why am I blushing? What is this feeling inside of me?'_ It seems she heard my thoughts again and it made her somehow nervous…

"So what was it that you wanted to tell me?" I asked trying to keep my normal voice, although it was almost impossible. It just wanted to start to shake!

"Not now… At the moment…" suddenly a music started to play from nowhere and what surprised me even more was that it was the same that I used to sing to myself sometimes "Is it possible for me to have my last dance with you?" asked innocent voice and pleading green orbs stared straight intp mine ruby ones. My heart froze and my voice finally betrayed my nervousness.

"S-sure, but why the last? I-isn't it o-our first dance?"

But she didn't answer me; her smile just grew wider making me hold my breath. She came nearer and took my hands into hers. They were cold, but not freezing. Holding my hands she backed a little and in the next moment spotlight was shining upon us. She put my hand on her shoulder and then moved her one to my waist, making me shiver but not because of disgust or coldness… Because of the feelings which passed through me. Joy, sadness, happiness… Almost every feeling that is possible went through me, making me even more confused. Some of the feelings weren't even familiar to me, but they felt so right…

Slowly our bodies started to move in a slow dance. We circled, looking straight into each others eyes not able to break eye contact. Something in these eyes just made me feel different, more alife maybe… Soon our speed increased making our bodies move faster, but not taking eyes away from each other even for second. We danced like this for some a time, before music started to fade to the end and so our pace slowed down. Suddenly she pushed me closer to her, hugging and holding me tight like if I she would let me go, I would disappear. A cold breath reached my ear when she whispered into it in her nice, husky voice.

"Shizuru, I'm sorry…"

"For what?" her words didn't make any scenes and it made me worried.

"I'm very sorry, but… we won't be able to communicate anymore…"

"Why?"

"It's for your sake… but I won't leave you… I will always be by your side…"

"For my sake? But what is wrong for you to communicate with me?"

"Can't answer you, but please don't try to make me answer you or communicate with you. I won't… The only reason why I entered your dream today, was to warn you. Now it's time for me to say goodbye…"

Her grip loosened and her body started to move away from me. I instantly missed the contact… I reached my arms to catch her, to hold her, to make her stay. I started to run, but couldn't catch my angel. I shouted her name hoping that she will stop and stay, but still nothing '_Why is it so important for me to communicate with her? Why do I miss our body contact? What kind of feelings were these? I never felt like these before, even Reito never made me feel so… warm… Who are you Natsuki? Are you only my angel or something more? I don't care! I want you to stay, to talk to me, to comfort me, to help me... I…'_

"NATSUKI!" I shouted jumping out from my bed.

* * *

Mini feed: 

Shizuru: Ara, and how this is supposed to be my Birthday present? Natsuki left me!

Bad one: But before that you saw her, heard her and even danced with her! What can be better than these?!

Natsuki: Maybe bringing me back to life?

Bad one: It is drama, I can't do it!

-Natsuki and Shizuru materialized their elements-

Bad One: 0.0

Angry readers: Open the door you... -were heard shouts and swearings behind the door- How could you do it?!

-The doors has been broken and angry readers with ShizNat are ready to attack me-

Bad one: Why me?! I'm just trying to make you more interested in story! Baka-moy where are you?!

* * *

Hope mini feed caught your reactions in right way XD Althoough it hurts to be always beatten T.T 

Anyway, please review! I'm ready for all kind of reviews from everybody! Even if it will hurt T.T


	12. Why?

Hi guys! Big sorry for such long update! I was a little bit busy... one of the things is that I was doing ShizNat clip :) If you want to see it, go to my front page ;)

Anyway here is new chapter nad I have to say thanks to **ToumaSan **for being my beta and to **Olivia U.L. **who also wanted to be my beta, so now she/he will check it once more ;)

Also I will send you replies, but some will receive them now ;)

**firecaster-hikaru **Well Shizuru isn't artist, is she? She can't draw Natsuki even if she wanted XD But I will think about _Deja vu_ thing ;) And thanks for suggesting, but as you see I already found beta :) But still thanks ;)

**Baka-moy **Then I do good job XD Anyway here is new chapter ;) Hope you will help me after everybody reads it XD

**kae **Glad to hear it And here is new chapter ;)

Sorry if someone didn't receive my reply, but I still thank you all for reading and commenting. It is really important for me ;)

Anyway hope you will like it ;) Oh! And I have to warn you!

WARNING: Please prepare a lot of handkerchiefs as always XD

DISCLAIMER: Don't own this show T.T Maybe it is good thing?

* * *

Chapter 11

Why?

PVC Shizuru

She didn't lie… It wasn't just simple dream and all her words were true. She didn't answer me anymore. My dream was the last place where I have communicated with my angel. I never knew that separating with her would be so painful. Well not exactly separating… But when you know that someone is by your side, when you try to talk with him/her and don't get any answer…it makes you really mad.

Some days have past after that night and no words were spoken between us. I tried to talk to her, ask her something, but no response. I even left our two cards on table hoping that she will move them, but no. I tried to tease her in suspense that she will get angry and will try to shut up me in someway, but still nothing. _'Why?_' I kept asking myself '_What happened? Why did she stop communicating so suddenly? She told me that she isn't allowed to communicate with me, but then… She broke the rule… Did they found out about it? What will happen if she will still talk to me? I don't want to put her in danger, but I really want to talk to her…But why? Why is it so important for me to see and feel her responses? What is so special about her? Isn't she just an angel? Besides she is a girl…not guy…although I do find girls attractive but still. What is going on? Even Reito didn't make my heart to beat as fast as she did… _

It was another day, sad day… My angel still didn't show any signs of her existence, but I didn't give up. Although she asked me not to do it, but I just couldn't live like this!

"Natsuki I'm going take a shower, hope my heater will work today" I tried to tease her, but no reaction.

It seems she still didn't blush, but I won't give up! I already have planned some strategy and it was time to use it. On the way to the bathroom I quickly took my pajamas off and started to circle around nude, hoping that my angel will see my naked form. And it worked! It did get warmer in the room! '_It seems my theory was right… Natsuki does control herself more now, but it seems unexpected attacks like this still work on her! I have to keep it in mind!'_

"Ara! So you are here! I already started to worry that you left me!" I proclaimed while getting my pajamas from floor "I have to make things like this more often or maybe I can just walk nude all the time?" It seems I really caught her unguarded by my action, because now my teases started to work and as proof it was getting even warmer "So Na-tsu-ki? What is your answer?" no reply "If you won't answer me I will always walk nude in my room" even though temperature rose even more, my angel still didn't reply me.

'_Damn! I was so close! Oh well, I will have to try even more then' _I throw my pajamason the bed and swing my hips a little, went to the bathroom. While washing and enjoying the warmth of the water, various thoughts ran through my head making me wonder and even more confused _'Why…' _this question just didn't want to leave me _'Why is it so important? Why in the world I would walk naked around just to see her response? What is going on?'_ I finished my shower and went to my bedroom to dress. I was going to the university today, so I didn't have time to enjoy reading. I dried my body with a towel and my hair with the hair drier. But still by the time I finished preparing for my day, the warmth of my angel disappeared.

"Ara, it is cold again. Mou, does my angel want me to freeze?" but my teasing didn't work this time what made me sigh "It seems it didn't work this time, but I won't give up and you will talk to me once again, well not talk… but you know what I mean" I smiled before exiting my room.

I said goodbyes to my maids and went to my sport car. I engaged it and drove away towards my university.

I parked my car in the parking lot and went towards the entrance where my future husband was waiting for me. Smiling he waved and went towards. I smiled and placed a light kiss on his soft lips, before going together, to the classroom.

Everybody was very happy to see me again and my fan girls just didn't leave any space for me, by jumping around and asking hundreds of questions. Thankfully Reito as always came to my rescue and soon we were able to go to our classroom without big problems. Lessons were boring, but I didn't expect them to be interesting. It was University after all. Although Reito did manage to make me feel a bit more comfortable and happy. For some time I was able to forget about boring lessons and my angel, but not for too long. During lunch time my thoughts once more returned to where they started and I couldn't do anything about it until…

"What's wrong?"

"Huh?" I looked at Reito confused, who was sitting next to me.

"You are worried about something, what's wrong Shizuru?"

"Ara, I think you are imagining things" I commented while sipping my tea.

"Shizuru don't lie to me. I know you too well, especially after we became so close" he said gently and it broke my mask. Sighing I replied:

"Ara, you really know me to well. I'm happy for that" I smiled at him.

"It's not time for smiling, Shizuru. Please tell me what concerns you. During last days you looked somehow lost, although you tried all your best to wear your perfect mask"

"That's nothing, really. You don't have to worry"

"Is it because of me?"

His last words made me put my cup down "What are you saying? Of course not! How could you even think about something like this?"

"Well as I remember you started to look sad after our engagement party, so I was thinking… Maybe you have changed your mind about our marriage?"

"Ara, Reito! You are hurting my feelings right now" I said while placing hand on my heart.

"Gomen Shizuru! I didn't mean anything like this! I was just concerned…"

"You don't have to worry about thing like this, I will never change my mind" I answered and kissed him gently on the lips making everybody around us say 'Awww' "So please don't say anything like this ever again…"

"Ok… but still… what's wrong? What's bothering you?"

"Don't worry, everything is fine…" _'I can't tell him the truth or he will think I'm going crazy…' _"I'm just worried about future exams, that's all" I smiled gently.

"Starting from when, are you worried about something like this?"

"Hmm… starting from when we chose the day for our marriage. I want to be good wife after all"

Reito's eyes winded in surprise "Is it all that is bothering you?" I nodded, what made him laugh "Silly girl! I will love you even if you become a full loser. So please don't worry about something like this" he answered and placed a kiss upon my forehead while hugging me tightly.

"I will…" _'I need to be more careful around him. I don't want him to worry…'_

"Good… now let's finish our lunch" he let me go "Shall we?" and smiled gently.

"Yes…" I nodded and smiled back…

PVC Shizuru ends

* * *

'_It hurts…'_ was the only thing I could think about during these few days. It tore me apart to know that you can't be near the one you love so much and the one which is so near… I just needed to reach my arm and I would touch her beautiful skin which smelled and felt so good…But no, I can't… and that all is for her sake, for her so called freedom… But she… she made things even more difficult… Although I asked her not to talk to me, she didn't listen '_And what did I expect from her?' _lonely smile crossed my face every time I thought about Shizuru's personality, habits… even though I still wondered why? Why does she want to talk to me so eagerly? After all the only thing she knows about me is that I'm her angel. She doesn't remember real me, our past, the time when we were together and cared about each other more than about our own life's… And here I am as the proof of our love. I wouldn't be able to bear with her sad face and washed away eyes by tears… Eyes which would become empty…

Now I'm the one who is suffering, who still loves her deeply, and remembers every moment we spent together, every feeling we shared and every touch we felt… _'Did you feel the same way when I rejected you?'_ I'm here feeling that all and seeing you with someone else, enjoying your life. I'm happy for you, Shizuru… although from time to time I wish that you would remember me and then forget once more… To know that our love still lays somewhere in your pure heart… But I know it's impossible… you won't forget if you remember and I will lose my only closeness with you…

I told you clearly not to talk with me, but you are just impossible! How could you throw your clothes away? Do you know how hard it was to control myself so my body wouldn't boil? I already got used to you during shower, but when you undress so unexpectedly and even start to circle! Good thing you didn't run around like this or I think my head would explode from all this heat! I wonder where it comes from. Anyway I really hope that your promise about walking naked around your room was just a joke or I will have ghost nosebleed! '_I wonder how it will look. NO! Bad thoughts! I can't allow it to happen!'_

Thankfully now we are at your university and I have time to recover and prepare myself for even more unexpected things which you could do. The picture of you walking around without any clothes made me feel hot, but thankfully everybody thought it was just a heating center.

Now you are eating your lunch and enjoying Reito's company. That is good, at least now you can stop thinking about me and make some devil plans. Don't want even to imagine about what will wait for me when we will be alone. But soon I heard Reito's concerned voice, asking Shizuru what is wrong, why does she look sad. But she will never say the truth, will she? And yes I was right once more. Although I have to admit that it was one of the worst excuses from her '_And I thought I had bad excuses'_, but what was stranger is that he believed her and soon they found each other in a tight hug. After some moments they let each other go and finished their lunch before going on other lessons.

I always thought that school is boring, but being at university with Shizuru for so many times I made a conclusion… Universities are even worse! Although I wish to be alive once again and enjoy all this stuff that I haven't noticed before, but I'm afraid that university will be an exception.

Lessons finally ended and it was time for Shizuru to go back home, but there was a lot of possibilities that maybe she will spend the rest of it with Reito. I didn't mind, after all I would have some rest from Shizuru's demanding of any kind of answers from me, which I still didn't plan to give her. But for my surprise she decided to go home.

"Why so?" he asked surprised.

"Gomen ne Reito, but I'm not in the mood today to go somewhere" she smiled apologetic.

"So…"

"Don't even think about saying it" she said and placed finger on his lips "it's not what you think"

"If you want, I can come with you"

"That would be nice"

Reito's face immediately lightened "Then I will go to my car, meet you near your house"

"I'll be waiting" and sharing so called 'goodbye kiss' they went in different directions.

I stood there watching as happy Reito was quickly going away to his car '_How I understand you'_ I smiled and turned around to see Shizuru who didn't seem to be so eager to go back to her car '_Don't tell me she is thinking about me once again! Why?'_ But before I could ask any more questions I saw something that made my eyes go wide. The big truck was moving down the road and straight on Shizuru who seemed not to notice it. The driver was already signaling and all people turned around to see what is wrong. Finally the sounds caught Shizuru's attention and she turned around to see her death. She was too shocked that she didn't even think about moving away…

"SHIZURU!!!" I cried out and threw myself towards her just in time to push her away.

My breath stopped as horrible feeling ran through my body as truck drove through me before stopping. My whole body tensed but soon it was able to relax. Taking some air I turned around and saw Shizuru lying on road with horrific expression on her face.

"Shizuru! Are you alright?! Damn! She can't hear me!" I shouted in anger while grabbing my hair and shaking.

"Natsuki?"

"Huh?" I released my grip.

"Is it you?"

Now I was scared even more "D-do you…h-hear me?" she nodded weakly what made my legs bent and fall on the ground "How? Why?"

But before she could say anything hard footsteps were heard and accomplished by Reito's loud and scared to death voice.

"Shizuru!" he jumped on her and hugged as tight as possible…as if he wouldn't let her go anymore "A-are you fine? What happened?"

"I-I was just lost i-in thoughts" she answered weakly…

"Shizuru what is bothering you? Please answer me!" he demanded while looking into her red orbs which just wanted to cry right now.

"Hey lady! Are you okay?!" shouted the driver jumping out of the car.

"Yeah…"

"Damn! You scared me to death! What the hell were you doing there?!"

"I-I'm sorry…"

"Damn!"

"R-Reito… could you please take me home? And sir… I'm very sorry, I promise it won't repeat anymore…"

"You better do!"

"She won't" answered Reito while he helped Shizuru to get up "From now on I will be by her side all the time" and not saying a word, he led Shizuru towards his car.

I sat there, on the road still not understanding what is going on here '_Why does it always have to happen? Why Shizuru always gets in trouble? What just happened right now? Why did she hear me?! Was it because I saved her this time? Like back then during camping? Maybe now everything will be fine? Damn! It won't be fine! She almost got killed because of me right now! Shizuru why? Why do you want me to talk to you? You don't remember me…you don't love me anymore…but you still care…What kind of game are you playing with us God?!' _But no answer came '_Why are you quiet?! Why don't you answer me?! Didn't you say that she will forget everything? Then why does she still care?!' _but He still was quiet. I clenched my fits and slowly rose from the ground '_Don't want to answer? FINE!!!' _and went after Shizuru despite the fact that I was still trembling, but this time from anger which boiled inside of me and ran through all my nerves, straight into my invisible heart. But before I could get near car, it started to move '_Damn!' _I cursed before running after it and before it would gain more speed I jumped into it. I sighed heavily, before lying on the back seat.

The ride was silent. Shizuru was very quiet because of the shock which she had experienced some time ago. The only one who was talking was Reito who had called to his men and asked them to take Shizuru's car back to her house. After some time we finally drove into the yard where he parked his car. Reito turned off the engine, but didn't leave the car.

"Shizuru… what is bothering you? Please tell me! I'm your future husband after all and I want to help you"

"Tell me Reito…have you ever had a feeling that you know someone for ages although met him/her only few times?"

"Yes, it's you… When I first talked to you…I already had feeling that I know you for a very long time…"

"And if it was the first and the last time when you talked to me…would you miss me? Or you wouldn't pay attention?" she faced him.

"Don't know….but I think yes…" he smiled at her gently.

"Then I think everything is fine now…" she smiled him back.

"But why are you asking that? Have you met someone?"

"I don't know how to explain it… to be true I never spoke to this person, she didn't say anything…just showed…but she is gone now and I have such weird feeling that I have known her for a long time and that she is somehow important for me. But now when she is gone, I just can't figure out why I have such feeling and it is confusing me… Do you understand me?"

"I think yes…. But you don't have to worry about it, I think something like this has happened to a lot of people" he answered while caressing her cheek.

"Are you sure?"

"Positively" he answered and kissed her gently on lips.

"Ookini, Reito" she answered in a hush voice "I won't be concerned about it anymore"

"Promise?"

"Yes"

"Good, now let's go…"

Nodding, Shizuru and Reito exited the car. Holding hands they moved toward doors where were greeted by maids. I thought day couldn't get any worse, but when they got to Shizuru's room…

"Ookini Reito for taking me home"

"Hey, it was my pleasure, besides it also is my duty as your husband" he smiled while hugging her.

"Still Ookini…"

She looked up into his purple eyes and like under spell, slowly moved forward until their lips met. At first it was slow and tender kiss, but soon their lips started to move faster and kiss has deepened. It looked like they were going to eat each other, trying to taste every inch of each others lips… Shizuru's hands raised and encircled around his neck, pushing his head forward to take more of him, on what Reito responded by hugging her tighter. Pushing her, they slowly made their way towards her bed and soon Shizuru's back found its surface.

My eyes wide opened looked at them as they slowly started to undress each other, while Reito placed hundreds of kisses upon Shizuru's body on which she responded with deep moans. I clenched my fists, body started to shake as eyes started to tear '_Do ghosts cry? Who cares!' _I tried to wipe them, but nothing… they still ran down my face and slowly dripped on floor where they immediately disappeared _'Why am I crying? Don't I have to be happy for her right now? But the thing which could happen to her because of me wore me out…I can't concentrate anymore…It's not fair…I want to be there with her, I want to make all this sounds to come out of her mouth! Why God?! Why did I have to die? That's unfair!' _no response… I clenched my teeth before shouting…

"SHIZURU!!!" while tears spread in all directions.

Shizuru's eyes widened and she quickly pushed Reito away who looked at her confused…

"Shi…zuru?"

"I-I c-can't… not now…" she said while buttoning her blouse. Now my eyes became even wider…

"Gomen…I"

"No Reito, it's not you…" answered she quickly before hugging him tightly "It's just… I don't even know how to explain it… Did you hear something right now?"

"No…"

"I see…"

'_Sh-she heard me again?! Why? What is going on here?!'_

"Sh-Shizuru Do you still h-hear me?" I asked weakly on what received her uncertain nod.

'_It isn't happening…__Why does she still hear me? I did so many offers to be not in contact with her…But now things are even worse…She hears me…WHY?! WHY THE FUCKING HELL IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?!"

* * *

_Mini feed. 

Natsuki: Author!

Bad one: Yaiks! -tries to hide-

Natsuki: Come back here! -grabs author- Tell me what the hell is it? -shows last scene from chapter-

Bad one: Well... Shizuru and Reito are having love session...

Natsuki: I can see it! That is why I ask WHY?!

Bad one: But you are ghost! And she is living being who needs attention!

Natsuki: Oh you little! -wants to hit author-

Shizuru: Oh yes Reito! -was heard behind the door-

Natsuki: WHAT THE???!!! -wide eyese-

Bad one: Hmm it seems Shizuru is trying everything in reality -thinking pose-

Shizuru: Faster Reito! Faster!

Natsuki and Bad one: 0.0

-Natsuki breaks the door- GET AWAY FROM MY SHIZURU YOU PER... -0.0-

Bad one looks into the room.

Shizuru: Ara, what happened Natsuki? -asked Shizuru while holding her empty cup-

Natsuki: Eeee...what are you doing?

Shizuru: Oh! I was just out of tea and Reito decided to make one for me, but it took him so long to do it... -sigh-

Reito: Hai hai, Shizuru! I'm coming -comes with kettle-

Natsuki faints.

Shizuru: Ara, Natsuki! What happened?!

Bad one: I think she got wrong idea after reading my new chapter.

Shizuru: What chapter?

Bad one: This...-Shizuru is already reading it-...one...

Shizuru: 0.0

Bad one -nervouse laugh- it seems you liked last part too...

Shizuru: Kiyohime!

Bad one: 0.0

* * *

I hope you had enough of handkerchiefs and I hope that mini feed made your mood better now XD Anyway I'm waiting for reviews :) Even if they are bad XD

And Baka-moy please save me from Shizuru and otheres if they will want to do the same to me T.T


	13. Decision

Ah! Finally I'm able to upload it! Hope everything will be fine with text, because I had some problems with uploading it /

Anyway I have to thank my beta **ToumaSan** who corrected main mistakes and told me to upload it immediately. Also he said he feels sorry for you guys...so prepare handekerchief and be ready to cry your heart out once again :) Hope you will enjoy it ;)

**Kiyohime **Well I think that is why God didn't send Natsuki to Shizuru immediately, only some months later...so she would calm own and not be jealous XD But anyway I will try to work on it ;) Thanks for reviwe, glad you like it and that you don't think it is stupid Although I need to inprove my writing :p And you whish! I will definetly finish this story, after all I know when the ned is comparing to other stories XD

**WARNING: **As alway will need to read fluff after it ;)

**DISCLAIMER:**Do I really have to repeat myself?

* * *

Chapter 12

Decision 

Even though my mind was swearing and shouting loud, God still didn't appear '_How is it possible?'_ but no answer came. I just stood there, not able to do anything as I just stared at Shizuru and Reito who she held tightly in her arms '_Not fair…'_ once again ran through my mind making my fists clench once more while ghost tears dripped down my face. I tried to wipe them, but it was no use. It looked as if these tears were cursed because I just couldn't stop them '_What is going on here? Tears… why am I crying? Ghosts don't cry!' _I opened my mouth and took in a breath of cold air hoping that it would make me feel better, but it was no use… I just didn't feel it, I can't breathe…

"Shizuru…" Reito's quiet voice returned me back to my senses and I quickly looked in their direction "Gomen, I really didn't want to push you or something… I just…"

"Hush, Reito. Everything is fine. It's not your fault. It's mine… It seems I'm still not ready…"

"That is why it is my fault, not yours. I should have known that you were not ready and not to push you…"

"You couldn't know that" she strokes his head with her delicate fingers, trying to make him feel better. She knew how he was feeling and I knew it too… but I just couldn't control this pain anymore "Even I didn't know" she whispered. 

"Don't try to comfort me" he pushed himself away from Shizuru's embrace and looked into hers red rubies which were full of sorry and wanted to cry, to let all pain go away. But crying wouldn't help, nor did it help me… "I still feel responsible for my actions and I…"

But he couldn't finish his sentence as the delicious lips of my beloved one pressed against his and kissed him gently. At first he was shocked by this action but soon all his senses were blocked and he just enjoyed the moment which made me feel even more jealous. The one, who started the kiss, was the one who finished it… Shizuru pulled away and pressed her light hands against his face while rubbing his cheeks with her thumbs.

"Onegai, let's stop this talk"

"If you wish so…"

"I do"

"Then I will"

"Ookini, Reito" she placed another kiss upon him before taking his strong body into her arms for another time and he responded in the same way.

'_Why are you doing this to me, Shizuru? D__on't you feel right now that I'm in pain? Why are you hurting me even more now? Is it revenge for me hurting you back then? No…it can't be revenge, you don't remember this pain anymore, do you? Or is it you God who makes me pay for that?' _I looked up hoping to see any kind of His existence here, to hear Him. But He was still quiet '_What kind of game are you playing with us? With me? Didn't you promise that she won't remember me? Then why the hell is this happening!'_ I waited for some time, but understood that it was pointless. Sighing, I faced the couple in front of me.

"Shizuru" I whispered on what she rose her head a bit "We need to talk… while I can…" and she nodded slowly.

My empty, teary eyes watched as Shizuru pushed Reito away and said to him in most loving voice that she could manage at the moment.

"Reito, dear… I'm sorry if I will sound rude, but… could you leave me with my thoughts for some time?"

"Of course…I will be downstairs, call me when you will be ready to face me"

"Downstairs? Aren't you going home?"

"Ara, how forgetful you are today. Didn't I promise that I will stay by your side all the time? But if you don't want to see me then…"

"No of course not! I want to see you! Stop saying such foolish things! I just need some time alone now. But if you wish to stay I don't mind… just give me some time to think, please… And don't get any wrong ideas; you really didn't do anything bad"

"Ok, I will go and check how the maids are doing"

"Ara, I'm asking you to leave only for some time but you are already thinking about maids"

"I didn't mean it that way, Shizuru!"

"Hai, hai" smiling she placed a kiss upon his lips "Now go and remember, nothing perverted"

"I would never do anything perverted" he stood up "only with you" he smiled brightly.

"Hentai"

Reito just smiled, in reply, even more, before buttoning his shirt and exiting the room _'At least their moods got better…'_

"Natsuki…" I heard Shizuru's weak voice which made me face her.

"Shizuru" I answered weakly while my teary eyes looked at her form.

"So you still can talk" she smiled "Ureshi"

"Why?"

"Huh?" she was confused by my question.

"Why are you happy about that? Why are you sad when I'm quiet? And what is more important…why did you stop? Why did you stop him? You wanted it, didn't you?" I tried all my best to keep my voice in normal way.

Shizuru's face became sadder and I was sure that I could see confusion in her eyes which were now looking at the floor "I would like to know too…"

"D-do you want to say that you don't know?" I asked not sure what to do about it.

"Hai… I don't know why, but when I know that my angel is near me…I feel happy…Even happier than I am with Reito… And back then…I…I just couldn't bear with the pain that I heard in your voice" she raised her head and looked in my direction although she didn't see me "Your pain… I didn't just hear it, I…I felt it" hand clenched on her heart "It hurt so much to know that you are in pain…"

"Shizuru…" was the only thing I could manage. My mind didn't work and I just didn't know what to say, how to react to such answer '_so it pains her to know that I'm in pain… why on earth do we have such a big connection with each other!'_

"Now…" her voice broke my thoughts "There are some questions that I would like to ask you while you can answer me…"

"Go ahead…"

Shizuru nodded and took some time to think "Why can't you communicate with me? What is so bad in it?"

"Sorry, can't answer on this question"

"Why?"

"Top secret" I tried to laugh a little, but it more sounded like some psycho.

"So called heaven secret?"

"Bulls eye"

"I see… then what about this one… why are you talking with me now? Or maybe better to say why are you talking at all? Before you left me, you were just moving objects"

"I didn't leave you; I'm always by your side, but about talking… I don't know why I'm able to talk to you… it seems my powers are growing each day, that is why I asked you not to try to receive answer from me or things can get out of control"

"What things, what is bad in all that?"

"Can't answer…"

"So it is the last time that I'm able to communicate with you" her eyes were staring at floor, finding it very interesting while her hair was covering her face.

"Yes…"

"If it is dangerous…then why are you talking with me right now?"

"There were some questions on which I wanted to know answers"

"Did you receive them?"

"No… well not all"

"I see…Well I have one more question, the most important one…"

"What is it?"

"Tell me Natsuki…Why did youi nterrupt…why did you stop me and Reito? And…why did it pain you so much?" she asked me weakly making my breath stop…

The question…it was the question which I feared to hear…which Ididn't want to answer…I didn't know what to answer…_'Life __is __unfair…so __unfair…what __do __I __have __to __do? __I __can't __tell __the __truth, __but __I __also __don't __know __what __lie __to __say…' _I felt like I was pressed against a wall and surrounded, like there was no way out… 

"Well…"I started, but had no idea how to continue it '_How __should __I __explain __it __to __her…"_Why do you think it pained me?" I asked although I already knew the answer.

Shizuru raised her head and bite her lower lip while looking lost. It seemed like she didn't know theanswer or didn't know how to reply. She moved a little before taking deep breath and replying with a little unsure voice. Itwasreallyraretohearherlikethisanditmademeworriedevenmore. 

"I…I felt it…I don't know why or how…but I just feel it…I feel your emotions…when you are happy I'm warm…when you are sad, I'm cold…but back then" Shizuru crossed her hands and shivered a little while keeping eyes closed. 

I took deep breaths while waiting for her to continue. It pained me to see graceful and happy Shizuru so broken and sad right now and what caused even more pain was realizing that it was me who caused it_'I __need __to __hurry, __I __can't __keep __it __like __this __or __we __both __will __be __broken __and __who __knows __how __it __will __end __in __the __end'_

"I didn't feel only cold…I felt pain…big pain inside of my heart" she continued, holding right hand on her chest and clenching it tightly, still holding her eyes closed "It hurt so much, like thousand arrows were shot into it…normal pain doesn't hurt like this…"she opened her eyes and tears started to fell down her cheeks. It broke me fully…I couldn't bare it, seeing her cry was the last thing which I needed right now so I closed my eyes that I wouldn't see her _'I __need __to __end __it__fast, __I __can't __bare __it __anymore__'_

"I felt…"she smiled weakly "like I was cheating…How should I understand feelings like that? How? You are just my angel, you are not my lover…you are not even alive" her voice was weak "It isn't normal…we humans can't have such big connection with angels, I never had such…tell me why do I have one now?" Now her voice was more serious and it seemed that she was demanding an answer.

I slowly opened my eyes and looked in her direction and backed away…Her deep crimson eyes, wet from tears and full of pain looked straight into mine…Like if she knew where I was standing. It made me so uncomfortable that I couldn't say a word _'Please __don't __look __at __me __like __this, __turn __around…__or __close __your __eyes, __please__' _I opened my mouth several times, but no sound came out_'Calm__down __Kuga…__You __can __do __it, __you __have __to __do __it! __Think!__'_

"I don't know why you felt like this…I was just worried about you…" I lied feeling all embarrassed. I never lied to her before, well if not include my lies about HiME thing…Now my first lies appeared when she found out about me as angel, when she started to communicate with me…but now my lie was becoming bigger and bigger and Ijustc ouldn't take it, I had to stop my lies as soon as possible, I had tostop our talk.

"Worried? Why? Is Reito some kind of criminal?"she asked me with concern. 

"No, ofcourse not! He's a good guy! Really good! Maybe the best I've ever met!" I answered quickly; I didn't want her to taket hings so wrong. Reito really didn't deserve it, but…at the moment I hated him as well…I just couldn't bare seeing them so close, so happy…so in love…But I'm not so cruel…my desires are big, but I understand that it will be unfair for me to do such cruel thing to them, to separate them…because I will never be alive again…but Shizuru is still living, she has to be happy…_'Damn! __Why __am __I __repeating __myself! __I __told __it __for __million __times __and __still…__and __still __it __pains __and __still __I'm __trying __to __convince __myself…__Reito…__I'm __so__jealous __right __now! __Damn__it! __I __need __to __calm __down__'_

"Then why!" she demanded, returning me back to my senses, to the cruel reality. 

"I…I…can't tell you…Gomen…"

"No, no, no! I'm calm person, very calm and patient but Iwant to know an answer, I need to know it…" her voice became quiet" I just can't live like this…not knowing what pains you, why I feel it and why I care…"

"I was just worried…when the truck…I was so scared! I'm your angel and you arei mportant to me…I was scared that I won't be able to do my work properly, that I will fail…that you will die…"my voice began to be louder "I was just shocked! I don't know what happened with me, I don't know why I interrupted…I just don't know"and became quiet once more. 

'A _Lie…__again a __lie…__not __fair…__it's __not __fair __towards __her…' _I never felt as bad as right now…I wished to disappear, to die…_'How__s tupid…I __am __already __dead' _I laughed to myself. Shizuru sat quiet, still looking in my direction. It seems she believed me and didn't know what to say. I stood not moving…waiting for her reply or just hoping that she won't say anything and that it was the end of our discussion. Some time passed, but no word was spoke nand I sighed in relief, but…it seems I relaxed to soon…Shizuru's gaze became more intensive and her eyes widened a little. I looked at her with puzzled expression not understanding what was wrong. I looked behind but didn't see anyone there. My gaze returned back to her still as puzzled and lost as before. It is the time when her beautiful mouth opened once more.

"Na…tsuki…are you lying to me?" 

"What? No! Why do you think so?"

"I can see it…"

"Wh-what?" I asked nervously, fearing for the worst.

"I can see you Natsuki; I see your body, face and all your feelings in it…" 

"Not again…we need to stop it…don't communicate with me anymore! And please don't worry about me, I'm here with you!" I said quickly and started to back away. 

"No Iwon't! Until I won't find what is going on here!" her voice became loud and she slowly stood on her feet "At first I just missed you, your presence, your responses…but now my feeling and longing became bigger! Things can't be as simple as you say. Tell me, what is wrong!" 

"Shizuru calm down…it doesn't suit you"

"I don't care, I want to know!"

"I can't…I'm not allowed…As I already said it is better for you not to know" I backed even more.

"Not fair!"she shouted loudly making me back even more and look at her with more pained expression, fearing that things will go out of my hands.

When I thought that there is no way out, the door opened and Reito entered the room. It seems he heard her shout and hurried back to her room. Seeing her in such broken state made him go pale and he quickly ran towards her. Itl ooked like he didn't see me so using thischance I quickly ran into the bathroom…away from her pained expression, from the questions at which I didn't want to answer _'I'm __running __away! __How __pathetic…I __Kuga __Natsuki __have __never __run __away…' _I fell on my knees_'Never…__what __have __you __done __to __me __Shizuru...__'_

"Natsuk icome back!" I heard Shizuru's hurt voice along with several sobs.

"Shizuru, calm down! What happened? Who is Natsuki?" was heard Reito's voice… voice full of worry and panic… voice, which cared…

No answer came; only quiet sobs were heard before I heard the two fall on the floor. Although I wouldn't call it a fall, the sound was quiet which meant that it was Reito who captured her and gently sat on floor, still holding his beloved… my beloved…

"Shizuru…" he asked gently, paining me inside. It tore my heart apart to know whose fault it was for Shizuru's crying and to know that it isn't me there, who holds her…

"Ka…Kanin na, Reito" she answered weakly, sobs still coming along with her words "I…I just fell asleep and… saw a nightmare… it felt so real that I… Kanin na, I didn't want you to worry"

'_Liar'_

"Everything is fine Shizuru… You are not asleep anymore, I'm here… but, who is Natsuki?"

Sobs suddenly stopped what made sense. Shizuru couldn't tell the truth _'New lies…'_ I waited…I patiently waited for her reply and the same did he. He was quiet…

"I…don't know… she just appeared in my dream and…"

"What were you dreaming about?" 

"I…I don't want to talk about it…"

"Alright…we won't…just calm down, pained and feared expressions don't suit you" I was sure that he was smiling at her with his charming smile which never had effect on me "But I have to admit the tears do suit you. People are right saying that crying women are beautiful"

"Ara…does Reito want me to cry?"

"No…" he continued in his calm voice "The thing I want to say is that you don't have to hide them from me…your tears… I want always be by your side when you are in pain or just sad…I want you to let all your pain out, I will always be by your side, no matter what…"

"Reito…Ookini…"

The way she said his name made me clench my teeth together. It sounded so nice and beautiful… Like my name sounded when she pronounced it…when we were together… I closed my eyes, sitting on the floor and suffering. Pain was big, very big and what was more important, knowing that it is my fault _'everything will be fine…time will pass along with her confusion and pain. I'll be fine…just need some time…I can do it…It's for her after all, for Shizuru'_ I comforted myself, taking deep breaths. Although I'm dead, it still helped a little _'I wonder why it didn't help last time…although come to think of it, it doesn't always help, even when I was alive' _suddenly I felt something warm. I opened my eyes just in time to see Jack's appearance. He stood in front of me with serious face, his blue eyes staring straight into mine. But I didn't care…I haven't even greeted him. My half opened eyes just looked back at him, my body didn't move…this incident just took all my strength away…

"Natsuki" he spoke, his voice firm "What are you doing?"

"Sitting?" I asked him smiling like idiot.

"I can see that. I'm asking about what happened some time ago, why did you interrupt?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

"Natsuki…you can't be jealous! Look what you have done to her!"

"Do you think I don't know!" I roared back.

"Onegai…" my eyes snapped wide, it was Shizuru's voice "Don't…"

"Shizuru?" was heard Reito once more.

"Kanin na Reito, I just... I'm tired...I want to sleep"

"Hai, I will help you"

"I think we should go somewhere else, it seems you made too big connection with her, she hears us"

"I…I didn't want it to happen…" my head fell.

"Come" he answered before we were both sucked by bright light.

I still didn't move so he raised me and took me to our special room where we could talk without any problem. If I was in good state I would never allow him to carry me in bride style way, but right now…I didn't care…I just wanted to be as far as possible from Shizuru, to put my thoughts in order, to calm down…

"We are here" he said. I was so out of it all that I didn't even notice how we entered the room, but it wasn't important "Natsuki get a hold of yourself!" he ordered me, but I didn't listen. He sighed and put me on the floor where I lay down "Natsuki…"

"Why did you come?"

"Friends can't just come to check on how their friends are doing?"

"You never did it before…"

"I never was so worried about you, just look at yourself! You are not the Natsuki who I have come to know"

"What do you know…"

"A lot…"

"You can't understand me…"

"Why not? I know exactly how you feel, your pain… Do you think I was always an angel?" this made me look at him "Yes, I was a human too. And I had my beloved too. I know how hard it is to let someone go…but I did let her…I didn't stay by her side, I let her live…"

"You just let her go? And you call that love? And if something were to happen to her!"

"That's life, Natsuki. People die and suffer; it has to happen…besides she had her guardian angel"

"And where is she now?"

"She died a long time ago, I saw her before God let her in heaven…"

"What do you want to tell me by that?"

"Maybe you should let her go too? It will be easier for you both"

"I…I can't… you saw in what pain she has didn't you? And it all started from her worry that I didn't answer her!" I sat, thoughts starting to come in some order.

"Give her some time…"

"No…I was always doing what you and God said, but look at the result! She is in pain, huge pain!" I roared "No…now I will do what I think is right…"

"And how?"

"I will continue to talk with her"

"What?"

"Yes I will! I just need to calm down… didn't you notice that my power becomes bigger only when I'm suffering, when I'm in pain, when my feelings for Shizuru are becoming incredibly big…didn't you notice it?" _'Funny, that I started to realize it just now…'_

"I did"

"See! I just need to calm down and try not to pain myself, and then everything will be fine"

"But she already sees you! I'm sure she will still see you tomorrow, even week after!"

"And?"

"Your face, it can bring memories back"

"Then teach me how to become invisible!"

"You are invisible! You and she just have some strange connection that is breaking all barriers between her and our world" 

"Then give me some time…" I lay back "Let me calm down… I'm sure things will calm down as well…"

"Ok, I will leave you for now… But remember, if the mess like this will continue, God will take you away from her by force"

"Doesn't He have to help?"

"He is helping"

"Really? It makes me feel like He is enjoying seeing us in such state… didn't He promise that everything will be fine?"

"I told you…" light appeared behind him "You two are special, He didn't expect things to turn out like this and He can't do anything to stop it. The only thing He can do is to separate you two. But as you can see, He gives you a chance… Make things better and you will stay, no…you will have too leave her…" he started to disappear "Call me when you will be ready to go back" and finally disappeared.

I laid there not moving, thinking over and over about what happened and what he told me _'So He isn't controlling things which are happening between us…His power isn't enough…I wonder…is it because we were both HiMEs or is there some other meaning to all this…I should stop thinking about it if I want to relax. Everything will be fine…I will be able to take things under control…I won't allow my selfish emotions to take control over me…never!' _

* * *

Mini feed.

Nasuki: Author do you really like to make people cry?

Bad one: Hmm…YES! It always makes me know that I did good work!

Natsuki: Didn't you try to make people laugh?

Bad one: If you want to laugh, then read my other stories. Especially 'Battle of Fuuka'.

Natsuki: You should make this story more cheerful, or I will turn emo!

Shizuru: Na-tsu-ki…

Natsuki: Shit! Shizuru is already emo! Run! –runs away-

Bad one: Shizuru is emo!

Shizuru: Author –with empty voice-

Bad one: H-hai…

Shizuru: 1…2…3…

Bad one: Huh?

Shizuru: 8…9…10, whoever hasn't hid yet, is his/her problem… -Bad one is still confused- Kiyohime…

Bad one: 0.0 now I get it!

But it was already too late…

* * *

Well hope you enjoyed it :)

Now I will try to upload 'Darkness' XD


	14. Happiness

I can't believe that I finally finished this chapter! I'm really sorry for taking so long, I just didn't have any ideas for this chapter. But now you can finally enjoy it ;) Hope you still remeber what happened in previouse chapters XD

And thank you everyone for reviewing ;) And big thanks to Urooj who agreed to be mine beta ;)

And BringerofBadNews there are some things that I have to disagree with you :) About God...maybe he has some plans for them? Or is checking how people are acting now? Well you know Shizuru and Reito were believed to be a couple in Mai HiME. Besides you can like 2 completly different people. For example I do like two guys but they are really different! So I don't see anything wrong in it :) You know... if Shizuru had forget Natsuki after her death she wouldn't be sad... Besides Shizuru loves Natsuki so much that she could make suicide or go crazy...Natsuki knew it!

You know... I really liked fanfic The Strange Affair of the Katsu Ruins so I don't see anything wrong in it :) And you know... I still have no idea what your real nickname is XD I don't even care about it and you didn't say anything for what I should flame you :) It is your opinion which I appricate. I fully understand that none story or book can be liked by everybody :)

**DISCLAIMER:** As always don't own it...

* * *

Chapter 13

Happiness

I laid there, with my eyes half open and my hand resting on my forehead while thousands of thoughts ran through my mind, making me restless. But I needed it. I needed to think, so I could put my thoughts together in order to make a plan. I couldn't just come out there and start to talk about everything. There had to be a limit and now all my thoughts were concentrated on finding the limit. A lonely smile appeared on my face when I finally found some answers, the limits. It didn't take long until Jack would come back to pick me up. Lazily, I turned my head and looked at him, still smiling like an idiot. He sighed and helped me get up.

"Are you ready?" He asked with concern in his voice.

"Hai..." I answered weakly.

"Then let's go." We were pulled in by bright light before appearing in dark room.

I looked around and noticed that it wan't Shizuru's room, but the enterance hall. "Why did you bring me here?"

"I just thought it would be better for you. After all you'll still have time to think and concentrate more, if needed before you will face her again."

"I see..." I slowly moved towards stairs and stopped in front of them "Arigatou." I thanked him looking over my shoulder.

"Take care." Were his last words before he disappeared.

I stood there for some time, looking at the place where Jack stood, before slowly turning my head back and looking at the direction the stairs would go._'Am I really ready to go there? Am I ready to face her? To face him? I'm sure he is there with her...'_ I sighed before sitting onto one of the stairs with my back towards handrail, my lonely eyes staring up at the ceiling_ 'Am I?' _Once more this question ran through my head, leaving uncertainty in my heart.

"Shizuru..." I whispered, closing my eyes in a slow motion. Silence surrounded me, while images of Shizuru flew through my head. _'Happy Shizuru...teasing Shizuru...smiling Shizuru...loving Shizuru...crying Shizuru...' _I pressed my eyes tightly together, trying to get rid of her crying face but it just haunted me... _'Why am I seeing her cry? Don't I want to see her happy? Of course but__, __it's a warning for me to be more careful... and I will, I promise' _I opened my eyes _'I won't let her cry again, that's what I've decided and that's what I'm going to do! I will protect her no matter what!' _And opening my eyes, I stood up before heading towards Shizuru's room. When I reached the door, I stopped, keeping my gaze on it. Sighing I entered the room to find myself in darkness. It was night time after all. Slowly I moved towards Shizuru's bed and as expected Reito to be there with her, hugging her slender body. What made me feel better was seeing that they both were dressed in pyjamas _'So they didn't continue after all...Of course they wouldn't...Who would after something like this?' _I looked at her face and pain started to return back.She looks so...happy. Even after what happened, even after what I had made her go through, she's still happy. _'Gomen Shizuru...' _I was so angry, angry with myself _'I promise you, my emotions won't take control over me again! You are too preciouse for me...preciouse...'_

I smiled remebering the HiME carnaval and it made me laugh a little. I always thought that remembering it will make me sad and maybe a little bit scared, but now I'm remembering it with smile, feeling happy. Happy because back then I found my preciouse one. Although I also wanted to beat myself right now. After all, it did take me so long before I finally accepted her. No I mean my feelings and then I had to die.

I clenched my fists but relexed when I saw her peacful face again. This time I smiled _'Even though this smile isn't caused by me I'm still happy for you, Shizuru. I promised it already and I know I broke that promise, but this time everything will be different.I won't loose myself, I will be strong__for you and only you, Shizuru...' _I bent down and kissed her lightly on the head, making sure that she won't wake up, but to my surprise, her smile only widened although later she snuggled closer to Reito which he gratefully accepted. I smirked _'You better not make her cry as I did...' _And with those thoughts I sat into the chair and closed my eyes.

* * *

Morning came and sun was shining brighter than ever. I was sitting in the chair and admiring it until I heard rustles from under the covers. They were awake, although it didn't look like they were going to get up any time soon.

"Mou Reito, stop it. It tickles"

"But I know you like it"

"Ahem" I cleared my throat "I'm still here you know" The rustles immediately stopped _'Damn! Why did I have to say it? Didn't I want her to be happy?'_

"I'll take a shower" Responded Shizuru and jumped out of bed.

"Ah! Gomen, I ..." Started Reito but was cut off by her delicate lips.

"How many times do I have to repeat myself?" She asked sweetly "You didn't do anything wrong"

"Well you just..."

"Don't we have to go to University?"

Reito smiled smugly "Do we really have to?"

"Ara? Are you really my Reito?" His grin grew wider.

"Come on Shizuru, you know that I'm not perfect"

"Ara, how could I forget it," She kissed him once again "but we really should go, I already missed a lot and exams are nearing." She stood up. "So come on, get up" And went towards the shower, but before entering it, she looked over her shoulder, looking straight at me _'Does she see me?' _Taking a deep breath I stood up and went towards the bathroom. I thought I was already ready for another blushing session, but...

"Why are you still talking with me? Didn't you say you can't? That you will stop?" I looked to the left and saw her standing next to me, near the enterance.

"C-can you see me?" _'No way! Was I wrong? Doesn't my power become stronger when I'm sad or just have big feelings? Didn't I calm down? Or wasn't it enough? Or is it already late?'_

"No, but I somehow feel your presence"

"I see..."

"So..." she pushed.

"Well I thought a little..." I began while rubbing my chin "And maybe talking isn't such a bad thing?"

"Are you making fun of me?" Her voice was cold and...sad? "First of all you say that you can't, that I shouldn't try to talk with you. It hurts so much to hear it, although I still don't understand why and as we already discussed yesterday, you won't tell me why. Or maybe you changed your mind about that?"

Hearing her right now, made me shiver. She almost sounded like she did back then during carnival.So cold but she had the right to be like this. After all it was me who made her suffer."Gomen, but no. I can't tell you that, but I promise to talk to you when you wish, under one condition"

"What is it?"

"Please no more talks about what is going on and why you are feeling like this. In other words I don't want to talk about the things that we discussed yesterday. It will be better for you."

"Do you know how much that makes me feel uncomfortable?"

"I think I do but there is nothing I can do about it right now. Maybe one day I will tell you." _'Oh really? Of course not! I can't damn it! Why did I have to say it?!'_

"All right, that's a promise" Finally I saw her smile "I will try to bear with these feelings, but you will promise not to dissapear on me like that ever again. Your presence is important to me."

"It's a promise!"

"Good' Her smile widened "Now, would you mind?"

"Eh?" I asked confused.

"Ara, we just became friends again and my angel already wants to peek? Ara, I have such a perverted angel! Maybe I shouldn't forgive you?"

"NO!"

"No? So I shouldn't forgive you then?"

"No! I meant that I will turn around!" Immediatly I spun around, blushing madly. _'Damn that woman! How on earth does she do it? To be angry and then all cheerful like nothing had happened?'_

"Ara, is my body so unattractive?"

"Shizuru! We just became friends again and you're already teasing me?"

"Ara, but I can't be angry all the time, can I? Or does my angel wishes me to be angry?"

"No, of course not!" _'Can't be angry all the time? I wonder what that was, back then during the carnival?'_

She didn't reply, but I was sure that she was smiling and satisfied with herself. Soon I heard the door to the shower, open and then later sounds of water dropping... I sighed, relaxing my ghostly body which I didn't know was tense util now. _'I can't believe that we're going to be friends again! I didn't even hope that she would forgive me so quickly! It seems luck is on my side today' _A happy smile spread across my face and I closed my eyes enjoying the sounds of the running water. Finally everything was normal again, although one thing did bother me right now _'I hope Reito won't decide to join her__although he is gentlemen.I don't think he will do it. Especially after yesterday.At least one good thing that has happened because of yesterday.__NO! Wait! What the hell am I thinking?! It is bad! Bad Natsuki, bad! You want Shizuru to be happy, right? RIGHT! Then accept the fact that she and Reito are together! I can't allow her to be hurt again! Especially when we just made up again!' _Soon my thoughts were stopped by the sound of the shower door opening_.'It seems Shizuru has finished her shower. WAIT! I hope she doesn't plan to go to the room only in one towel!!' _Quickly I turned around just in time to see towel falling down on the floor, revealing Shizuru's beatiful body. Her silk skin which was shining in the light, her delicate neck which just asking to be kissed, her beautiful shaped breasts which I longed to touch, her...'_GAH! What the hell am I doing?!' _Smacking myself I scolded _'PERVERT!'_

"Ara, is my angel enjoyong something?" I heard Shizuru's teasing tone and raised my head, seeing a smirk on her face.

"NO!" I yelled without thinking again.

"Ara, so my angel does think that I'm ugly. I'm so hurt" Puttiing her face in her hands, she began to sob.

"That's not what I meant!

"Ara, so Natsuki thinks I'm even worse than just ugly?"

"Ehhhh?! No way! You are the most beautiful person I've ever met!"

"Ah, Natsuki is so sweet! If I could, I would give you a kiss" Steam started to run out of my ears while Shizuru giggled _'Good thing she can't see it!' _

Thankfully she didn't continue to tease me anymore, instead she just simply started to dress and I was really happy for that! Soon she was finished, but she had left towel on her shoulders so clothes wouldn't get wet from her wet hair.

"Reito, you can go now"

"Already finished?" He asked lying on the bed.

"As you can see"

Smiling, he stood up holding his towel and on the way he planted a kiss upon Shizuru's lips. Jealousy awakened inside of me, but I kept it under control. There was no way I would break out again, especially when Shizuru had easily forgiven me! She really is an amazing person. As soon as Reito entered the bathroom, Shizuru moved towards her mirror where she took her hair dryer. The only thing that left for me was to sit on her bed and look at her, which I really didn't mind.

"So, what are we going to do today?"

I looked around, but Reito was still in the bathroom "Eh?"

"Yes my dear Natsuki, I'm talking to you"

"Don't you have to go to University?"

"Not for all day"

"And what about Reito? Didn't he promise to be by your side all the time?"

"Ara, so you don't want to spend time with me? I'm hurt"

"That's not what I meant!!"

"Ara,ara" she laughed "It seems I went too far this time, kanin na"

"Hmph" I pouted crossing my arms.

"So what do you want to do today?"

"I don't think there is anything else I can do except observe you and Reito"

"You can take day off"

"Don't tell me you are going to do naughty things with him and you want me to leave so I wouldn't interrupt."

"Ara,I'm not that mean. I just thought that you could use a little rest.. It must be tough to always look after me"

"I'm not tired! Really! Besides I just can't have a day off! I'll have problems later."

"Is a work as an angel so harsh ?"

"What do you think? We have always have to be with the person we protect."

"Ara, but why do so many people die in accidents?"

"It isn't our choice, that's God's choice.. Our work is to make sure that you won't die earlier"

"Ara I always thought it were our abilities and reactions that saves us"

"I thought so too..."

"Ara?"

"Ah! Nothing!" I exclaimed thankful that the door to the bathroom opened and Reito entered the room.

"Ah,what a nice shower." Sighed Reito, brushing his wet hair with a hand.

"I'm almost done."

"Well my hair is wet too,so I can wait." He grinned.

"It looks like you really want to stay."

"I do. I want to spend as much time with you as possible. Especially after yesterday's accident."

"Everything's fine, relex."

"I can't. There are too many bad things that have happened to you lately." He embraced her from behind and planted a gentle kiss upon her neck "I don't want to lose you."

"You won't…" She stroked his hair with free hand.

About ten minutes later, Shizuru had finished drying her hair and also dried Reito's wet hair, which he accepted graciously. Later, they had breakfast and as usually I sat down on one of the free chairs, observing my beloved. From the look on her face I could tell that the food was delicious and if I could, I would drool, because the food did look tasty. Finishing their breakfast, they used Reito's car to get to the University. The day in University was the same as always which was boring. Really, how can it be interesting when you have to study and write exams? Although I do miss those times...

During brakes they would always walk together, enjoying each other's company. Even though I promised myself I wouldn't feel jealous, I still did and, I tried to kill this feeling inside of me by telling myself _'You can't do this to her she is happy you can't be selfish again she forgave me to easily' _And for some time it did help me control my jealous feelings.

Finally the lessons ended and Reito decided to take her to the restaurant. It seems he didn't plan to leave her alone even for a second. While we were in the University he always waited for Shizuru by the door, when she went to the bathroom. It wasn't any better here and some people looked at him suspiciously. Shizuru also laughed about it and he just smiled and said "It can't be helped."

It was already late when they came back. They were so tired that they didn't even take a shower. I smiled at my goddess who slept deeply on Reito's chest. Even though I wished it was me whom she slept on, I was still happy. For a moment my jealous feelings disappeared and were replaced by happiness and love. Before going to my chair, I corrected the blanket which had slipped of her body.

"Ookini, my angel..." She whispered catching me off guard.

However I realized that she was still asleep, and somehow she felt that it was me.

"Your welcome" I whispered softly and moved to my chair.

* * *

The next day was similar. While Shizuru was taking her shower, we had spoken a little, but nothing special. Later, she and Reito went to the University and then something different happened. Someone called Reito, to matters he had to attend too. Before he left, he had asked Shizuru to come with him, but she refused, saying that she would be fine. Reito was reluctant to leave, but he finally did, promising to call Shizuru which happened to be every five minutes! Everywhere we went, all I could hear was the distinct ringtone that notified Reito's call on Shizuru's cell phone. I heard it so much, that I was sure I'd be hearing it in my nightmares although I have to admit the ringtone wasn't so bad even though Shizuru and I had different taste in music..

At this moment Shizuru was walking in the yard, being surrounded by her usual fan club. Suddenly the phone rang again and Shizuru excused herself to a quiet place where no one would disturb her. The conversation was the same as five minutes ago like… _'How are you?' 'What's new?' 'Are you sure you are fine?' _Geez! Can't he understand that nothing big could change in five minutes? Soon their conversation ended and Shizuru was planning to put her mobile back into the bag.

"Aren't you annoyed by him calling you every five minutes?" I asked standing not far from her.

"No" She raised her cell phone back to her ear, imitating a phone conversation "Does it bother you?"

"Not as much as conversation itself. It has to do more with the number of calls. I would already be pissed off if someone did that to me." And under my breath I added "It was that idiot Takeda that made me change my phone number all the time..."

"Ara, did you say something?"

"No, nothing." I straightened up.

"But I'm happy that he is so worried about me" She smiled "Although I do have to admit that it is a little too much..."She laughed gently.

"Then why don't you tell him to ease it down?"

"Don't know...maybe because every time I hear his voice I feel happy."

"I see..." Silence fell upon us for some time, being disrupted by singing birds.

"And what makes you happy, Natsuki?" The question took me off guard and I didn't know what to say.

"Me? I don't know..."

"Come on Natsuki, I know that something does make you happy."

"Well...it's usually you..." I answered quietly.

"Why?"

"I don't know," I lied "Maybe because I'm your angel and we're connected somehow? Seeing you happy makes me happy as well"

"But you don't seem very happy when I'm with Reito" She turned around to where I was standing...

"You're imagining things"

"Really?"

"Shizuru...didn't we promise not to talk about it?"

"You're right." She sighed. "Kanin na"

"And you forgave me," The bell rang signaling classes to start "You need to go..."

"Hai..." She stood up "Would you like to go to the park after school?"

"Not at all" I answered sincerely.

"Then see you later" Putting phone back, she and I went towards the building...

After the all the classes ended, we went to the park which was not far from her University. Of course some of her fan girls wanted to go as well but as always Shizuru found a way to escape them... I was always surprised at how manipulative she could be as well as scary yet still seem to be nice and polite like a goddess really. There are no other words that could describe her, well maybe a devil, but I prefer goddess more.

The park was really big and occupied with hordes of people, but still Shizuru had managed to find quiet place under sakura tree where no one would disturb us. She quietly sat under the tree and motioned for me to sit beside her and I eagerly did as she wanted. I just couldn't lose this chance. For some time we sat in silence, and soon Shizuru broke it.

"It is nice here, isn't it?" She asked looking at the sun.

"It is."

"You know, it is the first time I feel so happy and calm." I looked at her "It still makes me uncomfortable but today I want to fully spend all my time with you and enjoy every little bit of it."

"Are you sure?"

"Hai! Today I just want to do what my heart feels maybe it will help me to figure everything out"

I wasn't too sure about it, but maybe she would remember me? Yet I promised that I would never make her sad ever again...

"All right! What do you want to do?"

"Right now, I just want to sit here with you..."

"As you wish." And for anther moment silence fell upon us but soon it was interrupted by Shizuru's cell phone. Sighing, she picked it up.

"Hello Reito dear."

"Hello Shizuru, how are you? Is everything fine?"

"As always, yes…"

"I'm glad to hear it. Are you already at home?"

"No...I'm at a park, relaxing and enjoying the view."

"Oh! I'm sure it must be really nice there."

"Yes it is. We should come here one day."

"Of course we will! Oh by the ways, I won't be able to see you today. I need to go to France right now, for some meeting."

"Ara, for how long?"

"Don't worry, I'll be back tomorrow. I won't be able to call you while I'm on the plane, but I'll call you as soon as I land."

"Take care and good luck."

"Take care as well and have a nice day in the park. If something happens, you can always call on my airplane phone"

"Don't worry Reito." She laughed a little "Everything will be fine."

"I hope so, well talk to you later."

"Bye" And the conversation has ended.

During their conversation, I simply observed her, feeling content in being this close to her...

"Would you like to go to the amusement park?" She asked suddenly.

"Amusement park?" I asked surprised.

"Hai."

"Are you sure it's a good place for us to go? After all I won't be able to ride with you and what if some pervert comes after you?"

"I have you, don't I?" She smiled at me gently, making me hot.

"Well...I'm not sure if I will be able to help..."

"You are my angel, so everything will be fine, come on," And without waiting for my reply she stood up and walked away. Sighing I jumped on my feet and ran after her trying to catch up. We left the park and we were soon standing on bus stop, waiting for the bus. When the right one finally came, we got onto it. The bus was full so Shizuru had to stay on foot with me beside her. She had to bear with some pushing, but I bore with people walking through me which disturbs a lot.

Finally the bus came to the stop and we made our way across the road and towards the big amusement park. Even though I still couldn't get how Shizuru had planned to spend time with me there, I still walked behind her not asking any questions. She was already buying tickets while I looked around, searching for perverted eyes and to my happiness I didn't find any.

"Come Natsuki." Said Shizuru pushing through the crowd and with me behind.

"Shizuru, really how do you plan to enjoy the amusement park today, without seeing me or being able to touch me?"

"I can still hear you." She smiled as approached the cups ride which weren't moving right now.

"Let's go on this one Natsuki! It's one of my favorite rides"

"Really? Well all right, but I have no idea how I will ride it. I'm ghost after all..."

"Everything will be fine, come here." Showing the ticket to the worker, she sat into the cup with me next to her.

I was really worried about it; somehow I had a feeling that this ride will be similar to the ride with Yoko in her car. I violently shook my head, trying to get rid of this horrible thought. Soon the cups started to move and I tensed. I always liked amusement park, but right now I felt something good wouldn't happen and I was right when cups started to furiously turn around and around its own axle. My body started to fly from side to side and sometimes I fell from the cup into wrong one when I had meant to quickly come back. So to stay in place I had to try to get a grip on handles even though my legs were still seen from the back of the cup. However seeing Shiziru's happy face and hearing her laugh made me feel better and somehow I started to get more fun from this ride.

The ride started to slow down and finally I could sit in the seat properly. Sighing from relief, I got up but waited until Shizuru stood up as well. Still smiling she moved towards another ride.

"Did you like it?" She asked me.

"I'm sure that no one has ever ridden it as I did right now" I laughed.

"How did you ride it?" Shizuru asked curiously.

"I don't think I will be able to describe it but sometimes I found myself in the wrong cup." I laughed more "So I had to hold on, but my legs still were up in the air."

"Ara, it must be really difficult to be an angel."

"Not at all, although having a ghost form sometimes is disturbing, especially in crowded places." I said when fat guy went right through me and the smell of hotdogs was all over me "The feeling of something or someone passing through you, isn't a very pleasant thing." I smiled sheepishly even though she couldn't see me.

"Ara, I never thought that it was uncomfortable."

"Believe me, it is." I looked around "So where do you want to go next?"

"Are you sure that you want to continue? If it all makes you uncomfortable we can always-"

"Hey! Don't you dare to say that!" I warned. "I'm fine; the most important thing is that you had fun. Too many things had happened with you and I'm the biggest cause of it, so you need to relax. I also think that you went too easy on me, so I want to lessen my guilt in front of you." I answered sincerely.

"Natsuki..." She smiled "Ookini"

"You're always welcome." I smiled back. "So where do you want to go now?"

"How about this?" She pointed to 'The free fall', I gulped.

"Never thought that you'd like rides like this…"

"Ara, you are my angel but it seems you don't know me very well."

"It's impossible to know someone well." I protested "Even for angel."

"Hai, hai." She laughed " So are you ready?"

"Always"

And without a word we made our way towards Shizuru's destination. This ride didn't fare any better for me, maybe even worse. After all when everybody went down I still stayed up and then fell on my own. But on the way, I always tried to grab on the machine which was already rising. Soon I was riding it while hanging, not even bothering to get back on my seat.

To be true, it was the same in all the rides.. On the water fall I also stayed in air before falling into water and then swimming after Shizuru. I also flew in pirate ship and was almost pushed from 'Tornado', ride which was made like a wheel that was swinging high in the air and also turning around. All in all, the short rides were extreme all except the one… the big wheel, which was the last ride that Shizuru wanted to take.

The sun was already setting down, so we had to hurry if we wanted to see it. Quickly we jumped onto the ride and took seats in front of each other, gazing at the beautiful red sun in dark orange sky.

"Beautiful..." Whispered Shizuru.

"Yes..." I agreed, although right now I was looking at her with dreamy eyes and happy smile.

"Natsuki...Ookini for today." She looked at me, still not seeing me.

"You're welcome..." I was so happy right now, that I couldn't control it anymore and I let her to see me one more time.

"Natsuki..." She said surprised.

"Shah, Shizuru." I smiled more "Today I allow you to see me once more, but only today" I warned.

"Why?"

"I just thought it will make you even happier" I shrugged.

"Even though I still don't understand this feeling, which worries me so much, right now I'm truly happy being able to see you." She smiled even more, looking at me with slightly dreamy eyes, that for some time, I forgot I was dead and not with her anymore. She said that she will spend the day with only me once and that she will allow these wrong feelings to take over her only today. I remember it and even though this beautiful day and moment will end soon I'm happy. For the first time after so long I'm sincerely happy and turning invisible once again I allow my ghost tears of joy to spill.

* * *

Mini feed

Bad one: Here! Are you happy now? I didn't make this chapter depressing!

Natsuki: And what about beginning?

Bad one: Well I couldn't just start from you and Shizuru being friendly again!

Natsuki: Why not?

Bad one: It would make no sense! I already rushed everything enough!

Natsuki: What about Reito being a stalker?

Bad one: He is not a stalker! He is just worried!

Natsuki: Yeah... right...

Bad one: What in the world do you want from me?!

Shizuru: Ara, how about bed scene?

Natsuki: Yep... wait WHAT?!

Shizuru: Ara, Natsuki doesn't want it? -bad aura-

Natsuki: What?! Of course I do!

Shizuru: Ikezu... Natsuki seems to be so eager right now!

Natsuki: Shizuru!

Bad one: But I can't make bed scene! Natsuki is dead!

Natsuki: Then bring me to life!

Bad one: I can't! -crosses her hands-

-Some time later-

-Me being tight up with gun near my head and naginata near my throat-

Bad one: But I'm inexperienced yet T.T

Shizuru: Don't worry...I'll tell you what to write... -whispers something into my ear-

Bad one: 0.0 Alright I got it!

Shizuru: Good girl...

Natsuki: Shizuru what did you tell her?

Shizuru: Ara, nothing special...

Natsuki: Shizuru?!

Shizuru: Ara, I just said Kiyohime -Kiyohime appears beneath me- Ara, kanin na.

Bad one: Why me?! T.T

* * *

Hope I haven't rushed anything! Will be waiting for your reviews


	15. Memories

Hey there! Does anyone still remembers this story? I hadn't uploaded it like for 2 or 3 years... that sure was a LONG time... I'm really sorry for that, I just had lost my inspiration for it but now I will try to type only this fic since I already have planned the ending and can confirm that only several chapters had left till the end. About 4-5 chapters are left and I will try to finish them before updating any other fics. Hope to finally finish at least one fan fic of mine, wish me luck ;)

Also since I didn't upload for such a long time, please forgive me for any inconsistency, I had read my fic from the beginning but there still might seem something off so let me know if you notice any. Also hope that things don't deem rushed here.

**Disclaimer: **2 years had passed and I still don't own the show T.T

* * *

Chapter 15

Memories

The next day had come faster than I wished for it. But I still was happy... I was able to spend my time with Shizuru like we used in the past... well maybe not exactly the same way since I don't remember to ever fall out of ferry cups in to other ones... That was a really weird experience but I guess that was expected from a ghostly body. Even though I still can feel how objects were flying through me, it didn't bother me one bit. It all was worth it, Shizuru's happy smile and face completely paid off for it. Yes, I had disobeyed Jack's wishes as I had told him, but I don't regret it one bit. Shizuru is not miserable anymore and so am I. Things finally started to feel normal and there is no way that I will destroy it.

Reito had to return today and it might make things harder again but I won't give up. It still pains me; after all we had gone through hell, only the day before yesterday. But after calming down my nerves and having private time with my precious one, my light... I feel more confident.

Shizuru was still sleeping peacefully in her bed; huge smile adored her face. By her request, I had spent the night sitting be her side, admiring her peaceful face. Sadly the alarm clock had to ring any second, so I will have to say goodbye to this fantastic view. Sighing, I got up and went towards the chair. I would be happy to greet her with my most sincere smile, but making her see me again could really cause a serious trouble soon. Besides she said that she was fine with it... that my voice would be enough for her.

A loud ringing sound was finally heard, the alarm clock started to signal that the morning is here. With a slight sigh, Shizuru opened her eyes and stretched a bit. After good stretch, she turned onto her back with half of the blanket being off her body and the top of her pajama was slightly raised upwards giving the perfect view of her stomach. I gulped and turned my face away, feeling my cheeks getting redder by each second. Somehow, I was sure that she was grinning right now.

"Good morning Natsuki, did you have a good rest?"

"As good as it can be for someone who doesn't sleep" I answered weakly.

"Hmmm, and what did you do the whole night? Ara, is Natsuki looking at me whole night long? No wonder I get strange feelings during my sleep! Natsuki you are such..."

"No!" I jumped up from the chair, this time my whole body was burning like if it was on fire "Well, I do observe you from time to time... after all it is my work" I tried to excuse myself since she was completely right with her statement "but that's not the only thing I do! I sometimes walk around or... am lost in the thoughts or..."

"Ara, I was just teasing" she laughed and slowly got up, her legs had slightly touched the floor "I know that Natsuki is a good girl" she smiled at me and went straight to the bathroom. However, before entering it she had turned around and looked straight into my eyes. A teasing smile was firmly on its place "Would my angel like to join me?"

"Not today!" I crossed my arms and looked away once again; I wasn't going to fall for her teasing. I made a fool out of myself way too often.

"Ara, doesn't angel care about me anymore? I'm hurt! And what if I will fall over and will hit my head?" she pouted and it took me a huge self control not to fall for that old trick.

"Don't worry, I will sense when you are in trouble" I lied a bit, after all there is nothing dangerous in taking a bath, right?

"Ara, really? So Natsuki is really a pervert who was taking an advantage of me being clueless and was peeking on me? I'm so disappointed in you, what should I do with this little devil of mine" she shook her head and tried to look like she is deep in thought.

"SHIZURU!" I wasn't able to control myself this time and steam started to come out of my ears once again.

"Hai hai" she laughed and dashed straight to the bathroom without giving me a second glance. Despite that, her giggles were echoing in the room making the temperature inside me to rise. If I could die, I probably would be dead from the overheat. I still didn't understand why she loved to tease me so much. When I was alive she said because I look cute, but now? She can't see me, so what is the reason behind it? Though then again the heat in the area always rises whenever I get embarrassed, I guess she just likes to get the reactions no matter what they are _'And who is the devil now?'._

During the shower, Shizuru tried to tease me some more by pretending that something had happened. She was pouting really loud about hitting her foot too hard. Obviously, I had instantly ran inside only to find her naked in the middle of the bathroom and about to dress up. My blushing did not go unnoticed, Shizuru was grinning like a small child who had just won a toy. Teasing had followed right afterward and once again I had to try to defend my pride.

After shower Shizuru had gathered her things and we went outside to take a walk in the park given that she had a day free today. Mostly our walk consisted of us sitting under the tree with Shizuru reading a book out loud so I could hear it. I did insist for her to keep it down because we were not alone here but she had completely refused it saying that she wants to do something for me in return. I could not decline her kindness and had agreed. Surprisingly the book was not perverted or anything, on the other hand it had some nice story written down. Looks like Shizuru really wanted to return the favors in some way. I actually felt bad about it since I thought that I had caused more trouble than happiness. However, Shizuru insisted on the opposite theory of mine.

Sadly our happy and peaceful moment didn't last too long. Reito didn't lie, he really had returned today as promised. We were just about to leave our spot and go home, when his voice had echoed throughout the park. His face was shining from happiness while running in our direction with huge bouquet of roses in his arms. Despite being already happy, Shizuru's smile had sparkled some more what brought an unpleasant feeling in my _guts 'Stop! You promised to behave and not make a scene! So finally do what you have promised!'_ I was lecturing myself in my head. Taking a deep breath, I relaxed my body and looked at the guy once again _'I'm dead... I'm not coming back and we can't be together anymore...'_ I looked at the two love birds who were already drown into conversation with each other. Shizuru had slightly sniffed the bouquet, a peaceful expression was adoring her face.

'_I really am pathetic' _I smiled to myself _'I was worried about Shizuru, that she wouldn't be able to move on and would have sank in the sadness when I had died... However, I have never thought about myself... I am the one who fell here and was not able to move on... I really should have thought it through when I had asked to be her guardian angel...' _I continued to stare at the two and unnoticeable to me, a huge smile had spread across my face _'He makes Shzuru happy and I must be thankful for that. There is no place for me to interfere especially since it was my wish for Shizuru to move on' _silently I walked towards the couple and placed my hand on Reito's shoulder:

"Take a good care of her, ok?" and walked away. I knew perfectly well that he couldn't hear me, but it wasn't important. Most importantly was the fact that I had said it and somehow... I started to feel lighter. Still smiling I had looked up the sky, trying to enjoy the sun's warmth. Maybe it was my imagination... but I definitely had felt its warmth on my ghostly skin...

"Ara, Reito. I think we should keep going" I heard Shizuru's voice and slowly turned around.

"Sure, where do you want to go?" Reito asked in return and tried to take Shizuru's hand although she had pulled it back. Reito looked at her questioningly.

"Stop" I said "Don't... you heard me, didn't you? I completely entrust you in his care now. You might not believe me but I don't mind it anymore. I really was an idiot this whole time, I'm sincerely sorry" I bent down even though I knew she could not see me "Forgive me, that won't repeat again" I looked up to see her questioning and worried eyes, maybe even scared. She was looking directly in the direction of my voice "Don't worry, I won't disappear on you. I'm still here, I still will talk to you whenever you need me. After all I am your guardian angel, am I not? I can't abandon you, I simply won't get myself involved in your personal life... I give you my blessings" I was fully smiling right now, standing in full height.

Shizuru's eyes had softened and she nodded, accepting my apology and decision. In return, I had received a beautiful smile of hers as well. At one point it looked like she would start crying yet no tears came out, she was able to take control of herself.

"Shizuru?" Reito asked worriedly.

"Ah, sorry. I just got lost in thoughts" Shizuru shook her head "So are we going?" she took his hand smiling.

"Sure, where to?" he had relaxed a bit. Shizuru refusing to take his hand at first definitely had shaken him a bit.

"Wherever you want, just you and me" she hugged him slightly.

"As you wish" he smiled at her and slowly leaned in.

Sighing, I turned around. Even though I had finally excepted the reality, I still preferred not to look at them, at least not yet. It was surprising enough that I could except them right now when not so long ago I was in agony, it would be unbelievable if I was completely fine right now. I would have to hurt myself to ensure that I was not dreaming _'Just a bit more time and I finally will except them fully... I hope'._

* * *

Several weeks had passed since the day I had accepted Reito as part of Shizuru's new life. It wasn't as easy as I hoped after all. Even though I had finally come to terms with my life, it still pained me inside a bit. However it wasn't as horrible as before. It really makes your life easier when you except the reality and truth... eventually my pain was decreasing more and more until I was finally able to face them face to face. Of course I wasn't fine at whole 100%, there is no way my true feelings would just disappear. No, I was just able to face my pain, accept it and stop running away from reality.

Despite me telling Shizuru to not to hold back, that I was fine. She still tried her best to not burden me too much for the past weeks. They did keep hugging, kissing and had all those lovely dovely moments yet on the other hand she still kept the distance, at least the bed was definitely the object that she tried to avoid for now. However slowly they were getting closer and closer to it. Reito was very patient and tried to follow Shizuru's wishes. Looks like that scene also had left a spot on him.

Today was a great weather and that's why the two of them decided to spent the day at the beach. They were hoping for some privacy but for their dismicy, some of the ex-HiME rangers also were there. To top it, most of them were a noisy bunch such as Midori, Nao and Mikoto. Being polite ones, Reito and Shizuru had gladly excepted their company.

"Mai, let's play volleyball!" shouted Mikoto while jumping by Mai's side who was trying to sunbathe.

"Mikoto, we were playing just several moments ago. Let's take a rest"

"But I'm not tired!"

"Me neither!" shouted Midori who was slightly drunk by now "And neither is Nao!" she shouted and pulled Nao by the hand towards her.

"Don't decide in other people place, you drunk-head teacher!" Nao protested and tried all her best to get away from the firm grip.

"Mah mah, Nao-chan! Didn't your mother teach you to respect teachers?"

"My mother had spent the biggest part of my teenager years in coma" she answered angrily on what Midori let go of her hand.

"I'm sorry, I kinda forgot..." Midori's cheerfulness was instantly gone, looked like she really felt sorry. The topic about Nao's mother definitely was a painful spot for that spider woman but I could understand her "However, Mikoto wants to play. Won't you please your friend?"

"Why would I please someone who constantly throws me off my feet?" she spat back and before she was able to face the bunch, she was already on her back once again with Mikoto between Nao's legs.

"Please Nao! I promise not to do that again!" she begged with puppy eyes already in action.

"You just did IT again!" Nao shouted angrily and tried to push Mikoto off, but to her pitty Mikoto still possessed a superior strength in muscles.

Seeing how Nao tried to get away had gained a chuckle from me. I still loved to see her in those awkward positions, kinda made me feel self satisfied. Soon Midori had joined in to help Mikoto to convince Nao as well. Obviously the bottle of beer was the best medicine in Midori's book, I was actually starting to feel sorry for Nao now... but just a tad. Eventually Nao was down and drunk enough to finally agree with the bunch. Soon two teams were on the volleyball grounds. Team one aka team Shizuru and team two aka team Reito. Shizuru's team consisted of Mai, Takumi and Akira who also had come to the beach while Reito's consisted of the most crazy and hyper ones. Midori was shouting like crazy, swinging the bottle of beer in one hand. This time it was Reito who had to convince her to put it down and surprisingly it went well. Nao was swearing the whole time and Mai had to fight the urge to run up and cover Mikoto's ears, who was jumping happily from excitement.

I pitted Reito this time, not only because Shizuru's team had appeared to be better players but mostly for his retarded team. The only one who actually managed to do something was Mikoto. However her punches were so hard that they had to change the ball because the old one didn't handle the pressure and burst up. Midori and Nao were mostly bumping into each other and later getting into a fight to decide whose fault was it. I won't even bother with what count had they lost...

As the game had ended, Shizuru had gone to sunbathe. Reito hoped to join her yet Mikoto wanted to play with her brother some more. Mai was sunbathing together with her, Midori and Nao were lying on the sand in no condition to move or even say anything while Akira and Takumi had decided to take a walk.

"It looks like Yoko-san is missing" pointed out Shizuru "That's a surprise" and laid down beside Mai.

"Midori said that she had to meet someone today" answered Mai.

"I see... looks like Nao-san had taken her place today though" she had glanced at the dunken pair who still was uncosiouce.

"Yeh..." Mai looked the same direction "I pity her"

* * *

When the sun started to set down, everyone had gone back home one after another. The first to leave were Akira and Takumi who decided to check the arcade while it still was open. Mai and Mikoto had gathered Midori and Nao who had woken up some time ago but Midori had gotten drunk once again and Nao was too sick to move around. In the end Mai ended up dragging Midori and Mikoto gave Nao a pigy ride. Reito had suggested to help but Mai had refused the offer saying that she was fine. Even when their form were barely visible, Midori's horrible singing still was heard like if she was right before us. I felt sorry for Mai's ears.

Shizuru had chuckled, listening to Midori's song about some drunken bunnies... I bet that she is the author of it as well.

Shizuru and Reito decided to stay at the beach some more and enjoy the sun set which was slowly crawling here. Holding each other by the waist, they took a small stroll along the shore, enjoying each others company and warm strays of sun light. The skies were getting darker and turning into dark blue with the mix of red and yellow clouds that were reflecting the light of the orange, setting sun. I never was a person to admire such simple things although this time around it really had fascinated me and I had remembered the time I had brought Shizuru to the cliff during the sun set, she seemed to be very happy back then.

"It was a long day today" noticed Reito.

"Yeh" nodded Shizuru in agreement.

"And our wedding is only about two weeks away from now on"

"That's true"

"Have you bought a dress already?" he asked curiously.

"Ara, you can't ask such questions" she poked him on the nose teasingly "or trouble might happen"

"Ok ok, I won't ask again" answered he and pulled her closer towards his body, smiling.

"The sunset is really beautiful today"

"Yeh it is, but nothing will compare with your beauty" he pecked her on the cheek.

"Ara, Reito. Aren't you over rating my beauty" she smiled teasingly.

"Not one bit" he answered proudly "and you smell good too" he pushed his nose into Shizuru's hair and sighed in satisfaction "though there is one thing with which you can't compete"

"Ara, and what might that be?"

"A nice cup of tea" he grinned at her and in return had received a light smack on the shoulder.

"Ikezu" she had slightly moved away from him "though I have to be sincere with you too..." Reito stared at her curiously, head slightly bent to the side "I had cheated on you with the pack of famous Indian tea that I like so much. I had slept with it" she sniffed a bit, pretending to be crying.

The expression Reito gave her, made me snicker _'Did he really buy it?'._

"I was snuggling with the pack whole night and enjoying its aroma and... well I won't go into too much details since that's private" she waved at him innocently.

"Oh my, it looks like someone had deserved a punishment" he grinned at her and rubbed his hands in anticipation.

"Ara, just look at the time. I have to go now, bye!" said Shizuru looking at her hand which obviously didn't have a watch on it and then dashed away.

"You are not getting away from me!" shouted Reito and had followed right after her laughing.

* * *

The day had finally come to the end and sun was long time gone, being replaced by a bright moon which was shining dazzlingly above us. The thousands of stars were already in the sky, making the dark night to seem livelier. Reito and Shizuru were standing by the entrance, saying their goodbyes to each other. Shizuru had proposed for Reito to stay but he had refused her offer saying that he had things to do tomorrow morning, and that it would be easier to get to the place from his house. Just by looking at them, it was obvious that today was not enough for them and they were still longing to stay with each other some more. Time was definitely a cruel thing and I had experienced it in a worst case...

I sighed, remembering my days with Shizuru once again _'What an idiot... if I wasn't scared like a fool, I would be able to stay by her side longer...' _

Finally, they had parted with a last kiss and a tight hug. The car had come to pick him up and with a sad smile he had finally left, waving his goodbyes. Once the car had disappeared from view, Shizuru had entered the mansion. Slowly she made her way to the bedroom.

She had taken a shower and then went towards the huge mirror and sat in front of it. She took a brush and started to comb her hair while humming a melody under her nose, same melody as before when my voice had finally reached her for the first time. Quietly, I sat at the edge of her bed and closed my eyes, trying to enjoy the moment.

"You really have improved, Natsuki" Shizuru spoke once the melody had ended.

"I did say that I entrust you in his care, didn't I?"

"But I never expected you to become so peaceful about it in such a quick time"

"I had been thinking for a very long time back then and had a talk with a friend... not that I didn't any other time but..." I opened my eyes and looked at her reflection in the mirror "I finally started to realize what a burden I was bringing towards you through my actions and decided to take control of myself. It wasn't that easy of course, but I was able to calm down and accept things throughout these several weeks"

"What exactly did you have to accept?"

"I told you, I can't tell"

"Why?" she turned around facing me, what made me a bit uncomfortable since she was not supposed to see me.

"Shizuru, I thought that we made an agreement"

"Kanin na" she lowered her head "it just... I never stopped thinking about it, everything seemed to be so mysterious e and somehow I started to get a feeling that there is more to you... that you are not just a simple angel"

"That's right" I confirmed and her head shot up "I'm a guardian angel, not a simple one" I tried to sound reassuring, at the same time trying to hide my nervousness. I didn't like where this conversation was going all of a sudden.

"That's true" she laughed a bit "However, I meant something else" and slowly stood up, walking towards me in slow pace, she spoke again "Its like if you know something that I don't, like if I had a memory loss and you are the one who holds those lost memories"

"I think that you are over thinking things" I answered and slowly shifted on the bed, trying to crawl away from her.

"Then why are you running?"

"What?"

"Don't pretend Natsuki, I can see you" my eyes widened in surprise, it definitely was no good "I'm able to see you from the moment you had accepted Reito"

"Why didn't you tell me?" I burst out what made Shizuru back a bit, understanding my mistake I had covered my mouth.

"I didn't want to trouble you, besides as you can see nothing bad had happened"

"That's not the point! The problem is..."

"Natsuki" before I realized it, Shizuru already was right in front of me. My body froze while my inner voice screamed for me to run before situation got worse.

"Shizuru I..." two hands had reached towards my face and were gently placed on my cheecks, at least she tried to hold them there. Even though she could not really do it, I still felt her warmth.

"So cold... yet so gentle" she murmured, her eyes were half closed and held a gentle look in them "Who are you, Natsuki?"

"I've told you, Shizuru. I'm your guardian angel, nothing more and nothing less" I gulped before replying, I still couldn't make myself to move.

Shizuru sighed lowering her head "I see" she said weakly "Ok, I won't torment you any longer about this" and then smiled at me sweetly, making my ghost heart skip a beat "Good night, Natsuki" and before I could react, she placed a kiss on my forehead.

My reaction was the same as always, my body became hot and was about to explode. I had missed this feeling so much, so much that it was painful. And now that she had reminded me of the warmth of her touch and her lips, I wasn't sure that I would be able to live peacefully as I did before. I was afraid that my feelings would take over me once again and that I would ruin her happiness with Reito. I had to run, I had to escape it, I had to...

Suddenly, to my surprise I saw tears streaming down Shizuru's face. Panic over took me and my body finally got control of itself. Swiftly I backed a bit to take a better look at Shizuru who still was stuck in the same position as before, hot streams of tears were running down her flushed cheeks.

"Shizuru!" I shouted in panic "Are you alright? What happened? Did you freeze your lips?" I asked with concern. My hands were up in the air, ready to help but at the same time I was hesitant since basically I couldn't do much with them and most importantly I was afraid to cause her more pain "Shizuru, answer me!"

Gradually, she had opened her eyes, revealing two shining, red rubies which were all wet from tears. Pain and confusion were the first things that I had seen in them and which were the most obvious ones in her look.

"Natsuki..." she whispered quietly.

"I'm here, what happened? Did I hurt you?" I tried not to look too scared, my job didn't allow me that but it was hard to control my emotions when it came to her.

"Natsuki..." more tears started to run down her face.

"Shiz..." before I could finish my sentence, she continued.

"How could I?" an obvious hurt and self loathing was heard in her sweet voice. I backed once again, somehow I knew what she meant by those words and was praying that I was wrong "How could I forget you? Natsuki?"

* * *

Mini Feed:

Bad One: I'm finally back!

-Silence-

Bad One: Hey, where are everyone?

-The door opens and two granny's enter the room-

Bad One: Huh? Who are you?

Granny 1: Did you hear that Shizuru, this bastard does not recognize us!

Granny 2: Ara, well she did leave us for quiet some time.

Bad One: Eeeehhh? Shizuru, Natsuki? Is that you? 0.0

Natsuki: Of course that's us! Who else would linger here?

Bad One: But I wasn't absent for SUCH a long time! 0.0

Shizuru: Ara, looks like we were caught -took off her wig-

Bad One: I knew that!

Natsuki: Sadly reality won't make things easier for you -takes out the guns-

Bad One: Oh shi...


	16. Reality

Hey there! As promised, I had finished the chapter sooner than in one year XD Though it did take longer than I planned and I'm still not satisfied, especially with the second part. It seems to be a repetition from the first one... but I kinda got lost with details and could not make the chapter end the way I wanted. So I will change that part a bit in next chapter. I still hope that you will like it. Thanks for all the reviews! I did not excpect to receive so many of them after such a long break!

* * *

Chapter 16

Reality

"How could I forget you, Natsuki?" whispered Shizuru and my breathing had stopped. _'This could not be happening, this simply could not!' _I was telling myself, afraid to face the reality. Just when things started to get well, Shizuru of all times had to remember me now!

"What do you mean, Shizuru?" I tried to play innocent, hoping that it was another trick on Shizuru's part and that she simply was trying to get a reaction from me. I didn't want to believe that all I was working for this whole time, was about to crush.

"Don't pretend Natsuki!" her voice had risen and she moved closer while I moved further away from her, trying to avoid any possible contact with her "You know perfectly well what I'm talking about!"

"Shizuru I…"

"Kuga…" she whispered and this time my heart sank. _'My surname… I had never mentioned it to her in this condition. So it is true, her memories are back! Damn it! Are we in some fairy tale where kiss can solve everything? If so then why am I still dead? Argh!' _ I was shouting inside my head but on the outside I tried to look as peaceful as possible, trying not to show my emotions.

"Shizuru, I think you are confusing me with someone" it pained so much to say those words, but I had to. Those were the rules and if I were to break them, I would be taken away from her forever, that was the last thing I wanted to happen.

"Don't play dumb with me, Natsuki!" her voice was becoming louder with each word that had escaped her lips which were trembling slightly "You are Kuga Natsuki, my friend and most importantly my only real love! You and I were together for the whole year, after the carnival had ended and then…" she sobbed some more "… and then… you died…" she whispered the last words so quietly that I barely was able to catch them.

I was speechless; there was no denying it anymore. What she just said had proved the theory, her memories were back in full power what left me only one option. To disappear and never come back but seeing her so heartbroken just didn't allow me to do it. I knew that if I were to disappear, she wouldn't hesitate to go after me. Before I could say something, she continued:

"What happened? Why did I forget you? How could I forget you? Was my love that shallow? I'm so sorry Natsuki! I'm sorry for deceiving you! I truly believed that my feelings were…"

"No!" I cut her off firmly; I could not be quiet anymore. The truth was finally revealed, there was no point in hiding anymore. If I were to leave her, I would like to do it after explaining myself, without leaving her with false guessing. The time for truth had finally come "It's not true, Shizuru. Your feelings were the purest and strongest ones, you are not at fault here" I had reached my hands out and tried to take her face, Shizuru had followed my suit and tried to put her hands on top of mine. The process was hard, the muscles on her hands were definitely getting tensed from trying to hold them in the air.

"Then what happened? Tell me! I want to know!" her crying eyes were piercing through my soul which was right before her in its full glory "And please, no more lies…" she begged quietly, emotions were overflowing her.

"Alright" I sighed "I'll tell you but before that promise me one thing" I looked at her seriously, her gaze was mirroring mine "No matter what you are gonna hear now, please don't make any rush decisions, agreed?" she nodded in agreement "Ok, where to start…" I slowly got up from bed and took a little stroll around the room, Shizuru's eyes were on me for the whole time "The reason why you have forgotten everything is because I had wished for that" I faced her to see the reaction and as expected, her eyes went wide in shock and disbelief.

"What do you mean you had wished for it, Natsuki?" she obviously was sounding desperate.

"When I told you that I'm your guardian angel, that was not a lie. I had asked for that position when I had died and God was kind enough to grant me it" I decided to start from further away, trying to put my thoughts together and prepare Shizuru for the real upcoming confession which she definitely wouldn't like "But that was not my only request" I made several steps forward "I had asked him to erase my existence from the world, make it like if I had never been born. Obviously, a lot of things would had to be changed and that is why instead of me he created memories about someone else who had never existed in the first place, that's Sango"

Shizuru was at a loss of words, her expression made it clear that she wanted to say a lot of things but right now was in struggle with herself, trying to find the right vocabulary. Her mouth had opened several times. However, no sound came and it made me bit worried.

After calming down a bit, she took a deep breath and finally spoke up:

"What?" well, that wasn't a bad beginning "How… how could you, Natsuki? Why had you wished for something so cruel?"

"Cruel?" somehow I did not expect that "I thought that it was quiet generous from my part" I protested although Shizuru seriously didn't agree with it.

"Generous? You had robbed me of my memories, my feelings! And not only me!" her voice was becoming louder "Natsuki, don't you love me anymore? Were you ashamed?"

"What?" she surely was getting the wrong idea "Of course not! I did it for the exact opposite reason. I loved you and I still do. And I knew how much pain it would cause you to find me dead. Remembering what had happened at the carnival, I got scared that you would stop wanting to live. That you would shut in yourself and in worse case maybe even attempt a suicide and …"

"Yes, I definitely would attempt it" she confirmed my suspicion with straight face.

"See, I could not allow that!"

"But we would be together then!" she protested and stood up.

"No, suicide is a very heavy crime, we would not be together"

"But it still doesn't allow you to take such harsh measures! Why didn't you ask my opinion on that topic?"

"How did you expect me to do that?" I shook my hands in slight frustration "There is no way I could ask you that when I had passed away!"

"You could have asked it before that!"

"Would you really answer me? I'm quite sure that you would tell me to stop thinking about such nonsense and start to concentrate on getting better"

"Alright, you win here" Shizuru agreed with my statement "But… if my memories were taken away, why do I remember you now?"

"Now that's a good question" I pointed out "Though I do have some guesses… during this several months you seemed to always have connection to me, you seemed to feel what I do"

"Yeh…" she admitted weakly.

"Considering that we already had that connection at the start, I think that the kiss had triggered the rest. If to think about it, it probably was the closest connection that we could get considering our situations so yeh…"

"Ara, it kind of reminds me some kind of fairy tale" she pointed out weakly but obviously was trying to cheer up a bit.

"I know!" I burst out "Actually now that I think about our situation, it seems so cliché that I want to vomit" and sat beside her with a sigh.

The silence had fallen between us, we both sat near each other and stared at the floor not knowing what to do or say _'At least one thing is out of the way, one more left… or two'_. Taking another deep breath, I looked in her direction.

"Shizuru…" slowly, she faced me as well "I hope, that this sudden revelation won't change any plans of your life"

"Ara, what could Natsuki possibly mean?" she tried to look innocent but I definitely was not buying it.

"You know perfectly well what I'm talking about, Shizuru. I do hope that your relationship with Reito will stay the same as it was"

Shizuru's eyes fell "Natsuki I…"

I didn't like the way Shizuru was approaching this topic one bit "Please don't tell me that all that love that you had for him was a lie" I begged her.

At one point I felt reviled that all her love was addressed towards me and me alone. That I wouldn't have to worry about her relationship with Reito. On the other hand it bothered me even more, if Shizuru were to break up with him, her life would be ruined. She could not spend the rest of her life by talking to a ghost aka me. I don't even think that God would allow that! Actually speaking of him, I'm surprised that neither He nor anyone else had shown up yet. Didn't they notice? Or are they giving me a chance to calm things down here? Whatever it is, I must hurry.

"Actually… I don't know" she looked away and stood up taking a small walk around her own room "What I'm feeling towards him can't be compared to my feelings towards you… However," she stopped "the feelings I have for him are bigger than the ones I have for Mai, Nao, Midori, parents or anyone else… they are more powerful than a simple friendship"

I sighed in relief and closed my eyes "Good" it felt so nice to say those words after all the pressure that surrounded us some moments ago "So I don't have to worry about you ruining your life?"

"But I don't know what to do now" she moved closer.

"Do what you did before this moment, live and enjoy your life" I answered her sincerely, staring deep into her red eyes "Get married with Reito, make a family"

"I can't" she shook her head as new streams of tears started to flow "I can't do all that right before your eyes, it's like if I'm cheating on you"

"You didn't have that much problems before" I tried to sound cheerful.

"I thought of you as an angel back then"

"Well I still am your angel"

"That's different, I know who you really are now" she kneeled before me and gradually brought her hand towards my face, trying to touch it.

"Should I ask God to replace me then?"

"No!" she burst out and moved forward what caused some parts of her body to go through me, it obviously made her feel cold so she moved away a bit.

"But if you can't go on then it has to be done. If you are to stop to continue to live, I definitely will be taken away then"

"But…"

"Shizuru…" I reached out and carefully placed my hands on her face, she was shivering from cold but didn't make a single move to back away. On the opposite, she had closed her eyes and tried to enjoy the moment "… I'm dead. There is no future for us. Don't ruin your life. I came to accept the reality and I'll be happy to see you and Reito together. I never was a fond of him but after all this time I finally understood that he is a good guy. He cares about you deeply and will do anything for you. And since your feelings for him still remain, there is no point in breaking up. Just continue living" and let go of her face.

"It is much easier said than done" she answered, crying silently yet still keeping her eyes closed.

"I know, but that's what we have to do. We have to go on and accept the reality"

"Reality is cruel"

"It sure is…"

"Alright, I will follow your wishes" she opened her eyes once again "but under one condition"

"Yes?"

"You will remain here with me. You will continue talking to me and you won't run away"

"That's more than one condition, so which exactly do I have to follow?" I laughed a bit on what she glared at me "Ok ok, after all you are giving the same terms as before so no problem" I waved my hands in defense.

"Thank you" she smiled slightly in return.

"Well… I guess it is time for you to go to bed now"

"No, not yet. I want to spend my time with you, Natsuki" she shifted on the bed.

"But it is late and I did promise not to leave you"

"Please, Natsuki" she begged, puppy eyes already in full power.

"You know perfectly well that I can't do much"

"Your presence and voice is enough, just sit here… by me" she patted the bed by her side.

"Fine" I gave in "But no weird ideas" I warned her.

She excitedly nodded in agreement, wiping away her tears and smiling brightly "Ookini, Natsuki!"

* * *

The biggest part of the night we had spent simply talking to each other, sharing the memories of the past, of when we were together and of the time when we didn't know each other. Actually Shizuru was talking about herself more since she knew my past very well while I still didn't know a half about her despite being together for almost a year.

I had learnt a lot of new stuff, like for example that she had studied a year in America when she was ten. Her parents had gone on a business trip for a year and they had decided that it would be useful for Shizuru to attend American school and improve her English. Being talented and a fast learner, she had picked up English quiet a lot in that short time. Another thing that I've learned about her is that she had a pet snake in the past, no wonder that her child was half a snake too. But if child's represent the pets we had in the past, that would mean that Mai should have a dragon? I guess my theory about pets is not exact…

It looked like Shizuru wanted to make up for the lost time with me and was trying to tell me as much as possible about herself. I actually was thankful for that, it was interesting to listen about her past life and was relaxing as well. For the first time we were able to have a normal conversation without having to mention my secrets and me having to lie and hide. I wished that this moment would last forever. However, Shizuru had to go to sleep. She was meeting Reito tomorrow and for that purpose she had to be in good condition, I would not allow her to ruin her life because of me. I already made such mistake and I didn't plan to repeat it.

Shizuru agreed to go to sleep only under one condition: that I would remain lying by her side. She was visibly shaking from cold since my body was radiating cold from everywhere, but she still insisted on me staying by her side, saying that she was fine. I tried to protest though I did give up in the end. I had never won a single argument with her unless she was willing to lose.

I tried to keep my distance from her, so it wouldn't be chilly yet she still was visibly shaking. Despite that, a charming smile adored her face. It was a long time since I saw her so relaxed and happy. I kept wishing that this smile would always remain there, that she wouldn't know any sorrow and that God would not take any harsh measures because of what had happened.

The next day things got a bit tense, Shizuru had a huge urge to simply lock up in her room and spend the rest of the day alone with me. Obviously I was against such decision, she had to continue to live on and not slowly _kill_ herself. After small argument she finally gave in and went to the shower, with me right behind. Despite the displeasure of my decision, she still continued to tease me. I was not against it this time around as long as it kept her mind occupied with something else. However, to be truthful I do enjoy her teasing at one point. But don't you dare to tell her that!

Since today was a weekday, Shizuru went to the Uni versity where she had met Reito during lunch time. He had finished all his tasks and was ready to study. Reito was as cheerful as ever and impatient for the wedding day to come. At first Shizuru had no idea how to act again but after some of my nagging, she seemed to take the grasp of the situation. The sudden memories of the past had visibly shaken her and it would require some time to get used again. Sadly we were short on the time, no one except her had the real memories back what means that no one would understand her sudden change in behavior either. Knowing that God would come after my head if things went out of control also wasn't helping.

Reito was not an idiot; on the opposite he was very tactful, observant and smart. Despite our effort to cover things up, he still saw that something about Shizuru was off today. He seemed to be quiet for the biggest part of the day nevertheless he still had asked Shizuru about her condition while heading towards limousine.

"Shizuru, are you alright?" he asked with concern.

"Yeh, just a bit tired" she smiled at him weakly.

"Are you sure? Because if something is bothering you, you can always tell me"

"I know, sorry to make you worry but I'm really fine"

"If you say so…" he trailer off.

"I do" answered Shizuru and gave him a sweet kiss on the cheek. The action seemed to make Reito relax a bit. During the day Shizuru was quiet distant towards him.

The rest of the way they had spent in silence, only their hands were intertwined with each other, showing some signs of connection between them. At the door steps of Shizuru's house they had separated with a kiss as usual. However, even I could tell that it was lacking something this time around. Sadness clearly was mirrored in Reito's purple eyes yet he said nothing. Just smiled kindly and left without a word. Gradually, Shizuru went towards her room with me right behind. The moment doors had closed, Shizuru had spoken just when I had opened my mouth to do the same.

"I know what you are going to say, so don't bother" and sat into the chair without looking at me.

"Then why? I though we had discussed it yesterday. You know perfectly well what might happen if you will keep the distance with him like that"

"I know, but it isn't easy to act normal when you had suddenly remembered so many important things in one night and when the love of your life time is floating right beside you" she looked at me sharply.

"Should I leave?" I asked again.

"No!" she jumped on her feet "anything, but that"

"Then put yourself together or were your words about Reito a lie after all? And that you don't have any feelings towards him in the end"

"I did not lie" she raised her voice "I do have feelings for him, but I can't act normal now that I know who you really are!"

"But…"

"Just give me some time, please" my eyes widened in shock when I saw tears streaming down her face "Just a bit of time, that's all I ask"

"Shizuru…"

Lowering her head, Shizuru sat back into the chair, sobbing.

After some consideration, I finally gained courage to come behind her and tried to embrace her with my transparent hands. Good thing that my muscles did not feel pressure anymore and that I could stay in that position for as long as I wanted.

"Forgive me…" I whispered into her ear, evident shivers ran down her body, but she didn't mind it one bit "I didn't mean to get angry with you. I know that it is hard on you, but try to understand me as well. If I will let you to destroy your life, God will force me to leave you. And not only that, I myself would not forgive myself for destroying your life"

"You are not destroying it, I'm completely happy to stay with you like that forever" she whispered and tried to put her hands upon my arms.

"No, Shizuru. That's wrong. I'm dead; there is no future for you with me anymore"

"I don't care about future, all I want is you!"

"No" I said firmly.

"Then if I'll kill myself to ease the pain"

Those words made me back away in horror. Within a second I was standing right in front of her "Don't you even think about it! I will NEVER forgive myself if you'll do that. And I clearly told you what the consequences are if you'll attempt it"

"I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me. And you are right, I must take a hold of myself" and with those words she hit her cheeks, like if trying to wake up "Tomorrow, everything will be fine. I promise"

"Good" I smiled back "Go to bed now"

"Will you sleep with me again?"

"Shizuru…"

"Just this once" she put her palms together in a praying manner.

"Fine, but only today. Got it?" she nodded "Good, get ready for bed now"

Smiling brightly, she ran into the bathroom, she seemed like a completely different person now. Like if the argument had never happened between us. That made me sigh in relief, maybe Shizuru will be able to take a hold of herself after all. Though today's attempt had failed and our discussion brought a Déjà Vu feeling for me.

I had hugged her from behind and as last night, she started to shiver yet still seemed pleased with herself.

"Good night, _my angel" _she whispered.

"Good night, _my love_"

* * *

Mini feed:

Natsuki: You sure love drama…

Bad One: I love it!

Natsuki: But why is it us who has to suffer? Why don't you make a story about yourself instead?

Bad One: I doubt that anyone would read about myself, I'm not popular T.T

Natsuki: If you are not popular then why the hell do you include yourself in mini feeds?

Bad One: Well I can give myself at least a bit of spotlight, can't I?

Natsuki: …

Bad One: What?

Natsuki: You suck.

Bad One: What's that supposed to do with anything?

Natsuki: But if you will become a Drama Queen, things might change.

Bad One: I'm a Drama Queen each chapter! Who do you think gets shot and attacked each time?

Natsuki: Oh, thanks for the reminder! I completely forgot about that –materializes her weapon-

Bad One: I'm an idiot -_-

Natsuki: Yes, you are. So where should I shoot you today?

Bad One: Considering that I have no living spot left on me, it doesn't matter. Shoot wherever you want -_-

Natsuki: You are no fun –hides the pistols and walks away-

Bad One: Huh? I'm unhurt? For real? Yay, being uncaring sure does work! I should do it more often!

Shizuru: Ara, I heard everything.

Bad One: S-s-s-shizuru?

Shizuru: I won't allow anyone to make fun out of Natsuki except me.

Bad One: Maybe we can make a deal?

Shizuru: Kiyohime.

Bad One: Ah damn it… -_-

* * *

Hope that it wasn't a complete dissapointment. I'll try to make next chapters better, sorry about that. I actually would have delayed the writting even for a longer time, until I would get the idea. But I decided that it might have taken a lot of time as before so I tried to come up with at least something. Because I can see them having this conversation over and over since eccepting things like they are sure must be hard despite knowing what might come.


	17. Response

As I had expected, the last chapter really came out as crap. Well I don't blame you of not liking it, I myself don't. Though I did feel slightly dissapointed to receive only like 6 reviews, in comparison to 30 in each previouse chapters, it is nothing XD

Well I read your reviews and had responded to them all but here are several thiings that I wanted to point one:

1. Shizuru had been together with Reito for more than half a year, it would be weird if she felt nothing for him after such a long time even though her memories came back.

2. When you are in panic and under pressure, best ideas not always come when you want them to.

3. It was Natsuki's desicion to become Shizuru's angel, Shizuru holds no responsibility. It was Natsuki's choice alone, she knew perfectly well to what she was agreeing so no cheating there.

Anyway here is a new chapter, I felt really inspired about it and I think that it turned out really well. Hope you will agree with my point of view here too. Also it is my fastest update during this whole time, even week hadn't passed yet, I'm improving XD

* * *

Chapter 17

Response

Days went by and eventually Shizuru started to go back to her normal self, her interactions with Reito seemed to be the same as before though they did seem to be a bit less huggable, but Reito didn't seem to be bothered by it anymore. Looks like he got used to Shizuru's change of moods. We sure got lucky that Reito happened to be so understanding.

However, whenever we got time to be alone, Shizuru tried to give all her attention to me. She seemed to forget about the outside world and lived only in that one moment. I was not really pleased with it but I let it slide. It is a tough task to do what Shizuru did, to play the role of the past self like nothing happened. Besides I myself had seriously missed the closeness between us so I was happy to get some attention of hers. Usually we would just lie in one bed and discuss random things. Most of the time they would have no connection to the outside world and what was happening there. Nonetheless, Reito did emerge in our discussions as well as the upcoming wedding day which was only several days apart.

Today Shizuru was out in the town, to collect her wedding dress, Mai agreed to accompany her.

Once we got to the shop, Shizuru immediately left to try the dress out. I decided to stay outside together with Mai, and wait for Shizuru to come out. I felt a bit uncomfortable and nervous about going inside, wearing a wedding dress for the first time was an important moment and I wanted for Shizuru to see herself first as it is supposed to be.

I was walking back and forth, feeling nervous but not knowing why exactly. I almost felt like a husband who was waiting for his wife to show up. I glanced at Mai and felt a bit envious, seeing how calm she seemed. Just when I was about to make a 100th turn, the shop assistant came out and informed us about bride being ready. I stopped in my track and held the breath the moment the curtain seemed to move to the side. I was struck in awe when I saw Shizuru in the wedding dress for the first time.

When she went to buy the dress, she made an order. The real product was never shown to her except some sketches which did seem impressive. However, seeing Shizuru dressed up was a completely different experience.

In comparison to majority of females, especially noble ones. Shizuru had ordered a very simple dress in comparison to them. Obviously it was purely white. It fitted her body perfectly, showing all the right upper curves. The upper part was open, so her cleavage was perfectly seen, it was a corset which was directly sewed with the lower part of the dress. The lower part was adorned with many jewelry stones yet none of them was real. Down below the dress became wider and the lower part was done from several materials and with several identical layers. One layer went right around her body; the second just below and so on until it completely reached the ground. On her hands she had something like gloves which went directly to her elbows but did not cover her palms. Just a small string was put onto her middle fingers so they would not fall off.

I was left breathless, at that moment I had forgotten about everything including Reito and God. All I wanted was to sweep Shizuru off her feet and hold her in my arms forever. To forget about everything and just stay with her, to feel alive once again. Shizuru's piercing gaze did not help, she was looking straight into my eyes. Seeing my dumbfound expression, she smiled knowingly. This state of mine was pushed aside the moment Mai got up and spoke out her excitement:

"Shizuru, you look fantastic! Reito will be left speechless that's for sure!" a bit of sadness had passed through Shizuru's eyes but was instantly covered up by her cheerful demeanor.

"Ara, thank you Mai. I'm glad to hear that my choice of dress was the right one"

"Right one is not the correct way to describe it" she walked towards Shizuru and touched the fabric of the dress "It is fantastic, fabulous, it's… even I can't express myself properly"

"I think that Mikoto-chan would have described it as tasty" Shizuru took a thinking pose.

"Haha yeh, that would probably be one of the best ways to describe it" Mai laughed while the shop assistant looked at them oddly. No wonder, Mikoto's way of description could be understood only by those who knew her. And despite having a limited vocabulary, her words always seemed to be precise despite sounding odd.

"Do you think I should change something about it?" asked Shizuru and swirled around while looking into the mirror and then side glancing at me. Understanding the message I answered:

"No, you are perfect" with Mai in one tone, it looked like we were on the same wave length despite usually disagreeing with each other in the past.

"Good, I was slightly worried that maybe the design I had chosen would not look so good"

"The great Kaichou-san was doubting her choice?" Mai smiled teasingly.

"Ara, but I'm not a great Kaichou-san anymore. So I could be wrong with my choice" she teased back.

"Don't think that's possible"

"But I was wrong during the carnival" her cheerful demeanor disappeared in a second and blank look crossed her eyes.

"Stop right there!" said Mai in a loud voice and broke Shizuru out of her trance "We all were at fault back then, that time does not count. That time had never existed, it was a dream" she took Shizuru's hands "The Shizuru I know, is a gentle and carrying person who cares about those who are dear to her and the one who always makes the right decisions"

"Right decisions?" Shizuru seemed surprised a bit.

"Yep" Mai smiled cheerfully.

After a moment of silence, a sincere and happy smiled spread across Shizuru's lips:

"Thank you Mai" she said happily, it made me lost for a second. I didn't know what exactly from Mai's words had made her happy, since I was telling her same thing in the past too. However I didn't keep my mind occupied with it for too long, as long as she seemed happy, I was fine.

"Your welcome"

They smiled at each other for some time, filling the room with warmness and making even me warm, before Shizuru broke the silence.

"Well, I'll better change back"

"Of course!" Mai let go of her hands "But I really like the dress, Reito will be really happy when he'll see it"

"Yeh..."

Mai probably had noticed it, but Shizuru's smile became less sincere, it made me ace inside. Since our last discussion about the matter, I was constantly thinking if what I was doing was right. Was it really the only way out? Sometimes I felt guilty, like if I was forcing Shizuru. But I wasn't, right? She herself admitted that she still has feelings for Reiro, so there is nothing wrong with her marrying Reito, right? Yep, that's right. I'm not forcing her to do anything; I'm just putting her back on the path that she happily walked several days ago. I also am fine with it, it might be a bit painful sometimes but that's what I have chosen, to be her angel and to support her in everything.

After Shizuru had changed back into her clothes, she had paid the rest of the money for the dress, thanked all the workers and left the shop with Mai. They had walked for some time before Shizuru suddenly stopped, with me right behind her. Mai had followed her suet and turned around to face her.

"Is everything alright, Shizuru?"

"I have just remembered something; could you please go on without me? There is one more place that I would like to visit" she smiled gently, the request made my eyebrows rise. I was really curious to know what she was planning. I hoped that nothing ridiculous.

"Um, sure… do you need company by any chance?" Mai looked puzzled, but was not complaining.

"No, I'll be fine"

"Should I take the dress to your house then?"

"Ara, that would be really nice of you" and so Shizuru handed the box with a dress to Mai "I'm really sorry for the trouble.

"That's fine" Mai smiled brightly "Then I'll see you tomorrow at the party"

"Hai and ookini for today" she bowed lightly.

"Always welcome" and with that they had parted the ways.

For some reason, Shizuru headed back. I thought that maybe she had forgotten something in the shop yet she passed it by. I decided not to ask any questions and simply see where she was heading. After several minutes of walk, we stopped by the shop which I did not expect to see, it was flower shop. I looked at Shizuru with confusion yet she didn't say a word. Before she was able to enter it, I spoke my mind:

"Flower shop? Isn't it Reito who is supposed to give flowers, not you?" I tried to tease a bit yet got no real reaction.

"Ara, times change" she smiled and entered the shop.

It was quiet a big one, with bunch of colorful flowers. Some of them were sold separately, some in bouquets. It seemed to also take orders and decorate whatever you want. After brief looking around, I followed Shizuru who was by the counter. She had already bought something the moment I reached her. I looked over her shoulder and was surprised to see her holding a bouquet of flowers, same flowers that I tried to crash several years ago, when I had met Shizuru for the first time.

I was quiet until we finally went out and I made sure that no one is around:

"You aren't actually planning to…"

"Yes, I am" she answered before I could even finish the question.

"Why?" I asked quietly, but in reality I was happy to know where she really was heading.

"I'm sure that no one had been there for ages, and I feel really bad for not going there sooner" she waited at the bus stop, bus was just several meters away, standing at traffic lights.

"It is not your fault"

"It is, if not count the past half year, I still had almost two weeks to do it and I didn't"

I planned to say some more but bus was already here so I decided to be quiet, I didn't want people to look weirdly at her since she basically would seem to talk to herself. The bus was quiet empty so I occupied the seat right beside Shizuru. About 20 minutes passed until we reached our destination. When we left the bus, the first thing we saw were huge gates leading to the graveyard. I took a deep breath and followed her. I wasn't here for as long as Shizuru and I really didn't want to admit it, but I felt like I had come back home. Especially when I was facing my gravestone, which still had name Sango written on it. My grave got quiet messy over this time, but somehow I didn't mind.

Silently Shizuru knelt down, put the flowers into small bucket that was left there and started to pray. Several minutes passed until she spoke again, her eyes still remained closed and head was bent down.

"It sure feels lonely here…"

"It might sound weird, but I feel pretty comfortable right now…" I scratched my head "maybe because you are here"

"From now on, I'll be here each day" she said firmly.

Small smile danced on my lips "That would make me happy" Shizuru's eyes opened wide, and deeply stared into mine. The reaction made me laugh "What?"

"Ara, you are not going to protest?"

"I don't see anything wrong here" I started to balance from my toes to my hills, awkwardly holding hands behind the back "I think it is normal to visit the grave of whom is important to you" I looked to the side, embarrassed.

A light chuckle reached my ears making me face her again.

"I'm glad that we finally agree" her smile was so warm and sincere at that moment that I could not control myself, my body became completely hot from embarrassment and possibly whole body blush. The light blush on her cheeks and a bright sun which was shining directly at her, making Shizuru look like an innocent angel, didn't help at all. I looked away one more time before quietly whispering…

"Baka…"

* * *

Today was the day of the party, Reito's friends were celebrating in one bar while Shizuru and her friends in another. Obviously her friend consisted of all HiMEs and those who were involved at some point. Before the party, in the morning, Shizuru visited my grave once again. However, this time she decided to do a proper cleaning there despite my disagreement. I insisted on her getting ready for the party, she declined saying that it was more important and that she had enough time. I didn't pursue her any further about it. One, because it was useless. Two, she was not breaking any rules and three, I was happy. By seeing her take care of my grave, it felt like if she was taking care of me instead. I had guessed that it was something like a compensation to us dead, since we didn't feel anything ourselves anymore and we could not be touched or taken care off. Death eliminates those small yet happy moments. But now, I found how it could be remunerated.

Whole this time we were having small conversations about any topic that came to our minds. After she was done, she had remained at my grave for several more moments. Surprisingly time passed really fast for us, we didn't even notice t until sun started to set down. I promised to myself that I would not allow her to stay that long here any longer, otherwise she was completely missing on other things.

After we came home, she took a shower and had dressed up for the party. Her driver took her to the bar where everyone was waiting for her arrival. Once inside, they sat around the table and had a small meal and glass of wine for the starters. Midori was the first one to complain about it on what she received a hit in the head from Nao who called her drunken head. The small argument started because of that, mostly on Nao's part who still could not forgive Midori for getting her drunk at the beach.

Mai was the one to calm them down when she had mentioned the presents. Each one had brought a present for Shizuru and had gathered in a circle around her, handing the presents. Some of them were quiet normal… I think… Mai had given her child's clothing, have no idea why. As far as I know Shizuru is not pregnant, Mai said that's for future baby girl. _'You are so easy thinking Mai, and what if she will have a boy?'_ Midori had given a huge bottle of sake, did not expect anything less from her. Youko actually seemed to be displeased, probably because she wanted bottle for herself but maybe that's just me. Haruka, who was also invited, had given her a huge pack of tea. Nao being Nao gave a vulgar leather costume, seeing it Mikoto got way too excited, asking Mai to buy her one too on what poor Mai only blushed in embarrassment. Many more presents had come into Shizuru's possession, each one unique and awkward in its own way, what else could you expect from the bunch?

Once formalities were done, the real party had started. Stronger drinks were put onto the table; Midori was drooling while looking at servants carrying them. While Mai was not looking, Mikoto also got several shots what ended with her running around bar and jumping from table on table and on many other stuff. To be short, some restoration would be needed once party would be over. Mai was apologizing for 10 minutes, holding Mikoto by her side. Shizuru kept waving her hands saying that everything was fine and that she could cover all he expenses what made Mai even more ashamed of her companion.

It took some time before Mikoto calmed down and had fallen asleep in the corner letting Mai relax a bit. Obviously karaoke was part of today's evening; it almost became a tradition thanks to Mai. Seeing everyone perform, for a moment, made me happy that I was dead. I didn't want to experience it again, especially since they were cross-dressing this time too. Poor Akira was forced to put on Barbie's dress and sing Barbie's song. Good for her that Takumi was not here but at Reito's party.

I was laughing whole party along with Shizuru. When her turn came to sing, my laugh died. I was fascinated by her singing and her beauty could not be ruined even by dressing as taxi driver. Hell, if she was an actual taxi driver, I might have stopped using my bike back in my _livelier_ days.

The last part of the party was a huge cake with stripper inside of it, sadly for Mai, Mikoto had woken up at that moment. I myself was not impressed by stripper; especially when he started to swirl his butt in Shizuru's face. The pleasant smile, did not leave Shizuru's face even during that moment. Though, I really wanted to shove him off.

Everyone had stayed some more afterwards, getting ready to go back only about half an hour later. Huge couch was ordered, to deliver everyone to their living places. Even here it didn't end without scenes. Midori got sick as always, and as usual Nao ended to be nearby. Seriously, with all those constant scenes they should get married already.

Drunken Haruka started to sing some random songs, sadly loud enough to wake up people around. I didn't envy Yukino at this point who was trying to calm her down.

Shizuru stood outside, watching bus leave. Smile that she was wearing whole evening was still there. After several moments, she sat into limousine that was waiting for her. All presents were already collected and taken to her room. One more day was left until the wedding now. I was sure that everyone would most likely be recovering from today and gaining new strength for the actual occasion.

Once in Shizuru's room, I finally started to talk again:

"As usual, it was loud. I guess you can never have a quiet party with them"

"If it was too quiet, it wouldn't be a party anymore" Shizuru smiled and sat at her bed, looking at the boxes with presents that were put into the corner.

"I guess you are right, though now you have to pay for all the destructions which Mikoto caused"

"That's fine" she patted spot by her side, signaling for me to sit by her "At least there will be some use for all of these money"

"True too" I sat down by her side.

Slowly, she turned around and gazed right into my eyes. Her stare was so gentle and intense at the same time that I had to look to the side.

"Is there something on my face?"

"Yes"

"Impossible! Nothing can touch me!" my head turned back and was met with a sweet kiss on the lips, if you can call it like that.

My eyes had widened and I was frozen on spot, I did not see that coming. Shizuru didn't seem to want to pull back despite how awkward it must've felt to be kissing a cold substance. Though, considering my embracement, it probably got warmer. Several seconds had passed before I got control back and moved away, despite the fact that I really wanted to return the kiss. This small action made me doubt my actions till now, about marriage and everything else. Just this action made me wish to forget about everyone and everything and take Shizuru all for myself, thankfully my senses came back right in time. Otherwise we would have one weird night.

"W-what are you doing?"

She opened her eyes gradually "Can't you tell? I'm kissing you" she answered calmly.

"I could tell that! But I didn't understand the reason behind the action!"

"Is my love not enough?"

"Geez Shizuru" I shot up on my feet "I thought we had discussed it already, we can't"

"Because of Reito?" she stood up too.

"Because I'm dead!" I answered sorrowfully and turned my back to her.

"That does not bother me" she answered firmly, determined to get what she wanted.

"But it does bother me! That's not right! "I turned around sharply "And God won't allow that!"

"God,God, God… it is always God" she was getting angry "Can't you fight him back?"

"A God? To fight a God?" I was on the verge of laughing at this point "I made a deal, that I would not interfere with your life in exchange of becoming your guardian angel. I'm surprised that He still didn't show up"

"Maybe that's the sign that He doesn't mind?"

"You don't know Him; He would have said that it was fine. He is most likely giving me a chance to make things better"

"The way you keep denying me all the time makes me think that you don't love me anymore" she looked away, no teasing was seen or felt. She was really depressed.

"Of course not!" I stood right before her "I have never stopped loving you and I never will, don't you dare to think so!"

"Then is there really no way for us to be together?"

"I don't see any right now unless God will decide to bring me back to life, don't see it happening though"

"But…"

"Stop, how did we even come to this topic?" I started to shake my hands in frustration.

"I kissed you" was short and simple answer.

"Exactly! Don't you feel sorry for cheating on Reito?"

"I do, but I feel even worse when I'm cheating on you"

"You are not cheating on me, Shizuru" I said each word firmly, trying to male her understand "You can't cheat on a dead person and it is me who chose this life. I'm completely fine with it"

"Ara, are you?" she crossed her hands "Several weeks ago someone was in huge depression"

"I have overcome that!" I burst out in reply.

"Have you?" she came closer and looked directly into my eyes.

"Yes" I answered, looking back into hers.

"If you say so" she turned around and went towards the bed "Good night"

"I can't believe that such great day got ruined by a dumb argument" I sighed but no reply came. Sighing for a second time, I went towards the chair "Good night"

* * *

The next day things were quiet, but surprisingly Shizuru kept talking to me like if nothing had happened. I didn't know if I should be relieved or worried about it. I was happy that things stayed the same between us but it also made me suspicious. In the end I decided to shake off the feeling and just enjoy the day, hoping that no arguments would arise today.

As I guessed, everyone was recovering from yesterday's party, including Reito's guests. Reito and Shizuru were probably the healthiest; it didn't look like they had drunk at all yesterday. They decided to spend the day together, the last day of when they were just lovers.

However before that Shizuru had visited my grave as promised, though we agreed for her no to do it tomorrow because of wedding.

I thought that maybe Shizuru would become distant with Reito again because of yesterday, surprisingly they seemed to be even closer. They took a walk in the park, holding hands all the time. Small picnic was arranged and some cuddling.

I sat near the opposite tree, observing them carefully. Small smile danced on my lips when I saw Shizuru smile, true smile _'Baka Shizuru, can't she see that I'm fine with them being together? I'm not angry or sad anymore, I have accepted my destiny and Shizuru is in safe hands, Reito won't hurt her. And she really is enjoying her time with him'._

They decided not to stay till late since some preparations for tomorrows wedding still had to be done, that is why they separated quiet early. Reito still had gone together with Shizuru to her house, to ensure that she was safe.

No arguments happened between us today and I finally was able to relax.

The next day was the busiest since the whole carnival ended, everyone were running back and forth: preparing, searching, simply having fun, panicking and etc. Each person was excited about today, especially Mai whose eyes were shining all the time. The one who seemed the less bothered was obviously Nao who kept standing in the corner, away from the whole mess.

Shizuru seemed to be the most composed person out there. She was calmly waiting in her room for Reito to pick her up. While being alone in the room, we had small conversation about nothing really specific. Mostly about how busy and noisy everything was on what she just laughed saying _'That's what's wedding like', _I anticipated her to mention us at some point but it never came.

Minutes later, Reito was by her door, singing serenade for her. I was surprised to hear him sing so well despite knowing what a Mr perfect he was. Nether less, I had a laugh about how cliché whole thing was and was happy not to be in Reito's shoes at that point of time. I had no wish to sing and it would probably suck big time that Shizuru would never let me be later on.

Once Shizuru left the room, everyone went straight for the church. After the church a walk in the park had to be next and then an actual party with huge table. They even prepared extra number of food especially for Mikoto.

The moment we had entered the church and ceremony had started, a lot of thoughts rushed through my head _'This is it… from today onwards Shizuru will become Kanzaki… Kanzaki Shizuru?' _I laughed slightly _'Doesn't sound bad though I think Kuga Shizuru is better… Stop right there! Stop thinking about dumb things, I have already decided. Why am I starting to doubt myself now of all times? Well I was slightly jealous before but that's different. No, I can't. Shizuru will officially become Reito's wife today and all that's left for me is to do my work as a guardian angel'_

I looked straight at her, for my surprise she was looking at me within the corner of her eyes. Smiling I spoke:

"I promise to be the best guardian angel ever, just for you"

Her lips curved in a gentle smile and eyes returned back onto the priest.

"Yes" I heard Reito's reply, huge smile on his face.

"And you, Fujino Shizuru? Do you promise to love Kanzaki Reito and share happiness and sadness together? To support each other until death will separate you both?"

Shizuru closed her eyes, small smile still there:

"No…"

* * *

Mini Feed:

Natsuki: Hell yeh! Now we are talking!

Shizuru: Ara, shouldn't you be against my response?

Natsuki: Who cares about what that dumb author has planned! I'm keeping you all to myself! –grabs Shizuru-

Shizuru: Ara! –gets pushed into the bedroom-

Bad One: No one loves me T.T –sits in the corner-

Reito: Me too T.T

* * *

About that scene in the bedroom, don't forget that Shizuru was slightly drunk in case you think that things don't match.

Hope I was able to please you this time. Only around 2-3 more chapters left.


	18. Deal

Sorry for the delay guys, I was really busy with Uni. Had my assesment today so have some free time for now. I can't say that the chapter came out as great as I wanted it to, but I don't think it is that bad... Fell free to say what you think and give any suggestions ;)

* * *

Chapter 18

Deal

"No"

It took some time before the final answer finally sank into everyone's mind, mine included.

"WHAT?" obviously when it sank, huge noise started and I was not an exception in this commotion.

My mouth was hanging open and eyes wide almost like Reito's who looked like if he got hit by truck. The shock from Shizuru's answer made him speechless; all he could do was to stare at Shizuru while occasionally glancing at the priest. Probably hoping that he would say that it is a bad joke or that Reito was dreaming. Sadly none of it came, priest seemed to be similarly stunned.

Guests jumped on their feet, not knowing how to really react to this news. Everyone seemed to be as shocked as groom. The only one who seemed to be pleased was Nao, saying something about _'Finally the fun part had started'_. They were looking at each other, than at Shizuru and Reito, mostly at Shizuru. Everyone wanted to hear her reasons for such sudden decision. Shock was not really enough to describe everyone surprise and confusion. All this time Shizuru and Reito were a happy couple with no problems and disagreements, what could trigger such a response from Shizuru just didn't click in their heads.

I wasn't a huge exception either despite knowing the most about what was really happening. But even I did not see that coming. We seemed to finally agree, that Shizuru would marry him, that her feelings for Reito were not fake and that there was no real future with me. Why is her response now so different from what we had agreed on before? Gaining my speech back, I jumped towards her, shouting:

"What in the world are you doing?"

She ignored me… of all times she decided to ignore me now? Despite the fact that she tried to talk to me in public before?

"Shizuru!"

Taking a deep breath, Shizuru faced Reito and gently took his frozen hands in hers. Feeling her touch, brought some conscious back to him. Still shocked and hurt, he looked at her. His eyes were filled with pain and it was the first time I saw him on the verge of tears. Never have I ever though that it would pain me so much to see him in such state. Despite me disliking his guts in the past, he seriously did not deserve it. If Shizuru had never planned to marry him after gaining her memories, she should have informed him about it earlier, not today in such important moment of his… no, their lives!

"Kanin-na, Reito" Shizuru whispered quietly, everyone became quiet, listening to her excuse "I really am, but I can't marry you" Shizuru's eyes were really sincere and some hurt also could be seen. Seeing those emotions probably gave Reito more confidence since he spoke back.

"Why?" it was the first time that I heard him so hurt and in so much pain. Hearing his voice made Shizuru wince a bit "Did I do something wrong?"

"No…" she whispered quietly, squeezing his hand gently "You were nothing but the sweetest guy towards me. Any other girl would kill on my place to get you. I still can't believe that Tokiha-san did not choose you, not that Yuuichi-san is bad or anything" she tried not to offend Tate who slightly pouted at her despite the seriousness of situation.

"If that's the case… then why are you leaving me as well?" his voice started to crack "What am I doing wrong all the time?"

"Nothing," Shizuru lowered her head "It just…" she looked up again and I could see her heart cracking slightly after looking into those hurt eyes of his "Do you remember…" she began slowly, making me as desperate as everyone else for her to continue "…that nightmare of mine? The one that I didn't want to talk about?"

"Yeh… " he nodded "you looked really broken and desperate back then. You also kept mentioning that Natsuki person"

"That was not a nightmare and Natsuki is real" she answered firmly.

"Shizuru, don't!" I tried to stop her, if she were to tell that she was breaking up with him because of some ghost about whom no one knows, she will get into mad house! I can't allow that!

I tried to cover Shizuru's mouth, make some ruckus and mess but nothing worked. I was left powerless one more time.

"What do you mean?" Reito asked confused.

"I guess you really don't remember her after all…" Shizuru sighed, still ignoring me "Well that's fine…"

"Who is she?" Reito tried to get answers.

"Someone really dear to me" Shizuru's eyes looked very determined now; no sign of doubt was seen. They shone with resolve, piercing right through Reito's soul.

"So… you met someone else?" he tried to take his hands away from Shizuru's but she had strong grip on them.

"In the past… before we started to date…"

Reito seemed to start to get the idea of Shizuru loving someone else, and that someone is Natsuki… me… the girl… Yet none questions about orientation came from his lips.

"Did she… leave somewhere far away?" he looked to the side "And came back recently?"

"No" the answer seemed to interest him since Reito's eyes were once again staring at her, this time with slight hope in them "She died"

This made me slightly wince, reminder of my death never was a very welcoming thing for me despite saying it myself all the time… _'I freaking hate being dead! Whoever said that death makes things easier, is a moron!'_

Reito seemed to be taken aback by the answer and seemed to be more confused than before.

"Dead?" he asked uncertainly.

"Hai" Shizuru continued in the same calm and determined voice. I still couldn't understand what was going on in her head and why she did what she did "She died more than a year ago"

"What happened?"

"She had a cancer and it was too late to heal it"

"So your nightmares are connected to the incident?"

"Hai"

"So what exactly does it have to do with us now?" This time Reito seemed angered, not understanding the meaning behind Shizuru's reasoning made him annoyed, me included.

"I can't go into too much details since you will not believe me… no, let me correct myself" she shook her head "No one will. All I'm going to say is that she is not 100% dead and recently I started to feel her presence again"

"Shizuru…." He started to look at her weirdly and I had to slap myself, the reaction I was fearing to see was coming out with the most horrible timing.

"I'm not mad, if that's what you want to ask" the corners of Shizuru's lips rose a bit in slight amusement.

"That's not freaking funny!" I had to shout at that reaction yet she still ignored me. It was one of the first times that I wanted to strangle her.

"Obviously you may not believe me now as well"

Reito had to shook his head slightly, probably to get his mind back on right track "Let's assume that it is true, why did you have to tell me about it now? At the wedding? Why not before? I could always delay wedding, you know that?" he started to breath faster, he was trying to make sentences and questions as fast as possible, firmly holding Shizuru's hands now.

"I didn't plan to reject you today. I do love you, but I love her more. The delay wouldn't change anything. To suddenly break up out of nowhere also didn't seem right"

"But breaking up during the wedding is fine?" his voice got louder and sharper, I actually had to take step back. Shizuru kept still as a rock, it was making me wonder if maybe she had frozen or something.

"As I said I had no intentions of doing that when I came here. However, several feelings got confirmed in this several last minutes and I had to reject you. We would not be happy if I had agreed"

"What feelings?" this time me and Reito asked in one voice. I really got curious about the answer, it seemed to be closer to the actual truth. Not that Shizuru was actually lying so far, more like avoiding straight answers

Sadly the only answer we got was a small, sad smile and a short "Goodbye…", right before Shizuru rushed out of the church with Reito screaming after her. He tried to chase her, but his way was kept being blocked by guests who still couldn't comprehend what just happened and were starting a commotion one more time.

Ignoring all the mess and sending last sad look at Reito who looked completely heart broken, I ran after Shizuru. When I finally caught up with her, she was sitting into limousine and ordering driver to move. Poor guy… angry, depressed and demanding Shizuru is scary. I know it from my own experience.

Increasing my pace, I jumped into a moving car as well, landing right next to her. She definitely knew that I was sitting right beside her but she didn't give any signs of recognition. Instead she simply stared up ahead with unreadable expression what started to slightly piss me off. I still couldn't believe what had happened and I would be damned if I didn't find out the reason behind those actions. And her statement about feelings still made my head spin without being able to find explanation to that statement.

When I looked out of the window, I saw that we were not going back to Shizuru's mansion. I sent her a suspicious look but she once again ignored me. Sighing, I decided to stay quiet for now and see where we are heading. I really wanted to shout right now, but with driver in front, it didn't seem to be such a good idea especially if Shizuru started to respond. She really would look like a mad woman then.

After some time the car had finally stopped. When I looked through the window, I saw a small hostel. Looks like Shizuru really didn't plan to stay at her place today. Though I could understand the reason why, dealing with her parent who came from England just for the wedding, would be troublesome right now.

Shizuru opened the door without waiting for the driver to do it in her place. Once she was out, she ordered the driver to leave and keep quiet about where she is. If he were to tell, she would deal with him personally. At this statement the color had completely left his face and he started to sweat like a pig before nodding in understanding and leaving.

Once the car had disappeared from our view, Shizuru made her way towards hostel. People who were present at that moment looked weirdly at her because of the wedding dress that she was wearing. Ignoring all the stares, Shizuru calmly walked towards the desk and booked a room. Since she obviously didn't take any money with herself, she offered one of her earnings instead which were gladly accepted. After all they cost fortune, more than she actually had to pay.

The Hostel wasn't big so it didn't take us long to find the room, which happened to be on second storage in the corner. The moment we entered the room and the door behind was locked, I finally exploded, all my frustration, irritation and confusion once again were expressed aloud.

"What the hell just happened?" Shizuru quietly laid on to bed "Hey! Don't you dare to ignore me!" I shook my finger at her "I demand explanations, NOW!"

"You were there, I had canceled the wedding" she answered simply like if she had canceled the appointment with dentist instead.

"Don't play with me, Shizuru! Do you even realize how much you have shaken everyone there? Especially Reito? I thought we had discussed it already!"

"We did" she sat up straight "However, despite always urging me to continue with the wedding, you yourself have never accepted it"

I was left speechless I had expected her to say a lot of things but this… me not accepting their wedding? But I herself told her to do it! Why would I do it if I were against?

"I know what you are thinking, Natsuki" she said firmly and came closer to me "You might have accepted it mentally, but you have never accepted it whole heartedly, with your soul"

"Wh-what are you saying?" I finally was able to make out the words.

"Back at the ceremony I felt your doubt, your jealousy, your urge to replace Reito… I felt each of your feelings, like if I could read your mind" she said softly, smiling slightly.

These time my eyes widened in shock and mouth started to open and close in silence, not able to mumble any sound. This new piece of information completely blew my mind away; I never expected our connection to be so close. For her to feel the slightest doubt within myself? Unbelievable! It just couldn't be real!

"Back when we had our last argument, I had finally decided" she took another step closer "If you really wish for me to marry Reito, I'll do it because it is **your **wish. However, if I were to feel at least slightest doubt within you, I would cancel the wedding. And as I said, I could feel your doubt right before I had to give my final answer"

After some struggle, I tried to make some kind of response: "But Reito…"I breathed out "What about him? You completely destroyed him! I have never seen him so heart broken before and it made me feel really bad despite the fact that I never gave a damn about him when I was still alive!"

"I don't want to put blame on anyone but it was you who started to have doubts in the last moment" Shizuru started to become impatient "And do you really think that I enjoyed rejecting him? Reito was like an angel towards me this whole time, he took care of me, and he loved me! It was really painful to see him like that. If not all the years of practice on how to control myself and hide emotions, I would have instantly fled out of the church without any explanation just not to see this pain in his eyes"

"Then you should not have canceled the wedding in the first place! And what if I were to have doubts later?"

"I would have divorced, no matter how much I might love Reito, Natsuki is more important" her gaze was firm, nothing would waver her decision. I understood that it was useless to argue with her so the only thing left was to sigh in defeat.

However, the moment I did it, a loud voice echoed through the room, making it shake.

"I can not allow it!"

My body froze and if it were possible, I probably would become whiter than I already was. The voice belonged to the last person I wanted to see right now.

"G-God…"

"What?" Shizuru looked at me startled.

"H-He finally has appeared…"

"Natsuki…" the God talked again "I'm very disappointed in you…"

"I tried to convince her to marry Reito, I really did!" I tried to convince him, to do anything so he wouldn't take me away.

"Shizuru's answer was only the last drop of my patience. You have messed up long time ago. Do you really think that I didn't notice how you were gradually getting in Shizuru's life and heart all over again?"

"I didn't mean for it to happen!"

This time Shizuru decided to speak out as well, looks like she was able to hear us clearly: "Don't put all blame on her! I myself was insisting on her attention. If anyone should be blamed, it is me!"

"Natsuki is your guardian angel, a very important position which holds a lot of responsibilities. She knew what it meant when I had given her this position, she should have been able to make the right judgment and know when to stop"

"If you knew that she was doing something wrong, why didn't you guide her? Why didn't you help her? " Shizuru's voice was becoming louder each time.

"Shizuru, please…"I tried to calm her down; we were already in enough trouble.

"No, I won't be quiet! If the almighty God is so great, then he should have done all in his power to prevent this situation from happening!" she shouted into ceiling "How long have you been an angel?" she faced me now "Less than a year? There is no way you would be able to do everything on your own!"

"Jack was there to guide her. As you can see, Natsuki was not able to completely break the bonds with you and remove herself from your life. She will have to take responsibility now"

"Responsibility? Are you going to take her away? "

"Yes"

"I will not allow that!"she stood right before me, like if shielding me "If you do, I'll commit suicide!"

God was quiet for some time before he spoke again "Is your love that shallow?"

I could see how Shizuru's body had stiffened at that statement "What…?"

"Do you think she will be happy to see you commit suicide? She also must have told you that in case you do commit it, you two will never be together again even after death" Shizuru kept quiet "And…" the God continued "I can always remove your memories again"

"You wouldn't dare!" she shouted back, seriously pissed off.

I had to take step back, not sure of whom I was scared more right now. Shizuru was starting to get this weird aura around her once again, same one as during the carnival.

"Would you prefer to suffer like that?"

"I'll better suffer than will have fake memories!"

"You better not make any mistakes" the God said calmly.

"Don't say it like if our argument is over. I'm not handing Natsuki to you. She will stay with me and I know that she wants it too"

"How do you imagine your life like that?"

"It doesn't matter, as long as I have Natsuki by my side I don't care what happens to me. If I am to be locked in a mad house, then be it! As long as I have Natsuki by my side, I'll be fine"

"But I'm not!" I couldn't stay out of the discussion this time "I won't be able to bear to see you treated like a mad woman! I'll better watch over you from the distance, see you have a happy life than you being locked in because of me!"

"Then let's run away" she rushed towards my side "Just you and me, somewhere no one can find us and where no one knows about us"

"It might have worked if you were not Fujino" I said firmly what gained me a surprised look from her "Your family has way too big influence, they will eventually find you. I don't want to see you running and hiding your whole life. And I doubt that your parents will allow that especially after what happened today"

"You never know until you try!"

Before I could reply, God talked first:

"It is decided then"

"What?" we both asked in one voice.

"Shizuru, I give you one week time. If you will be able to come up with a decent idea of how you two could stay together without getting each other hurt and both being satisfied, I will allow Natsuki to stay. If no, you will never see her again" we stood in silence, trying to comprehend what He just said "Just try not to make any more mistakes"

When information had finally settled down in our brains, small smile had lift up on Shizuru's lips.

"Do not worry, one week is more than enough for me to come up with something"

"Good! Natsuki…"

"Yes!" I squealed.

"You are coming with me now"

"But…" Shizuru tried to protest but He cut in.

"You will think of something without Natsuki around, do I make myself clear?"

"It will be hard to concentrate without her around!"

"You should be grateful for even getting a chance. The only reason why allow it is because I can see how strong your feelings are for each other. If not their power, your memories would have never come back. I am breaking an important rule right now, dead should stay dead and not get involved with the living"

"If the rule is so important…"I began, not sure why "Then why are you trying to help us?"

He sighed, and for the first time during today, his voice was filled with love and not anger "As you mortals like to say, rules are there in order to be broken" the room got filled with warmth and was kept like that despite next words coming out in colder tone "However, if she will not be able to come up with good solution to the mess that you two have created, there is nothing I can do. I won't allow you to hurt each other, especially everyone else around you"

"Ookini…"was Shizuru's quiet reply.

"Let's go Natsuki" was His short reply.

"Hai…" I made several steps forward before looking back at the girl I loved "See yah, Shizuru. Just try not to stress yourself too hard…" I smiled at her.

"Natsuki… I promise I will find the way!" she answered with determination.

Giving her last smile, my body disappeared in a bright blue light and Shizuru was finally left alone in the room.

* * *

Mini feed:

Natsuki: So God is finally on our side? Shizuru, I believe in you!

Shizuru: Hai, I will do everything in my power to make you stay with me.

Natsuki: Shizuru… –puppy eyes-

Shizuru: Natsuki…

Natsuki: Shizuru…

Shizuru: Natsuki…

Natsuki: Shizuru…

Shizuru: Nat…

Bad One: Just get a room already!

Natsuki: Fine! –pushes Shizuru into the room-

Bad one: Not mine! 0.0

* * *

Just a bit more and this story will be finally over!


	19. A shell

Hey everyone! I know you want to kill me for the 100th time already and I know that I deserve it but hey! I have an update here! YAY! I'm quiet satisfied with this chapter. Originally it was supposed to be the last one before epilogue but my original ideas for ending had changed so there will be one more. I promise 100000% that I will not dissapear for several months again and will finish this story in about two-three weeks, depends on your reviews. I feel quiet inspired right now when my new ideas got in order. Hopefully you will like where it is heading. Feel free to give some of your ideas!

DISCLAIMER: Obviously don't own Mai HiME.

* * *

Chapter 19

A shell

PVC Shizuru

Four days have passed since I made a deal with God and despite such a long time, I still couldn't come up with perfect solution to our problem. For one, I didn't even have time to think of anything because everyone was getting at my neck because of my sudden break up with Reito. My family and especially his were the least happy. I did try to hide somewhere, trying to avoid the crowded places and especially those where I could bump into someone familiar. However, my plan failed drastically. Just as Natsuki said, I'm way too big of a star and was found on the second day. This concluded my idea of trying to run away, I definitely would've been found out in no time or we would constantly be on the run. I wouldn't really mind this kind of life but I don't think that Natsuki would appreciate it.

When I got found and dragged back home, the next two days I was constantly lectured by my parents who were definitely not happy. Good thing they didn't hear what I said to Reito during wedding or I definitely would've been locked in a mad house. Because of these constant talks and shouts, I simply couldn't concentrate even for a second. Just when I thought I had finally got my freedom, parents would start to rage all over again for like tenth time that day. What made things worse is the fact that Reito's parents also wanted to see me. My parents were against our meeting at first, fearing the same thing as me: them killing me... VERY slowly...

But after long struggle they finally agreed and that's why I'm sitting in the living room now, waiting for their arrival. For the first time I was finally left alone and I instantly made use out of it. I tried to forget about upcoming storm and concentrate on the task at hand. I had to find a good solution; I had to make sure that Natsuki would stay with me that we would be together again. I could not afford to lose her, not again. Even now I was feeling very lonely without her and it is only a fourth day! If I am to lose her forever, I will die. Why can't God see that she is my life? That I can't make it without her? The best solution to our problem would be for me to die but there is no way he will allow that so I have to compromise. Right before I could come up with anything, the door opened and Reito's parents stormed into the room, two of my bodyguards' right behind, ready to stop them if needed.

To be short in description, saying that they were mad was an underestimatement. They were deadly furious, their eyes were shinning with anger and faces boiled. Their scary look made me uncomfortable. Thankfully they still had their manners and tried to act calm. Slowly they went towards two chairs in front of me and took their sits. Several minutes have passed yet no one said a word, they were just silently staring at me, making me even more uncomfortable. Gulping I decided to break the tension:

"Sooo... I heard that you wanted to talk to me" I smiled politely at them, trying not to show my nervousness, it did not suit me.

"And you dare to open your mouth after what you did?" asked Reito's father sternly.

He was a quiet tall man with wide shoulders. He had short black hair which was partly white already, it was combed back, gel held it down. He also had big moustaches of the same colour as his hair. His eyes were dark brown and to be truthful the look he gave scared me a bit. His eyebrows were put together and his brownish eyes looked straight into mine, trying to see through me. Sadly for him, he chose a wrong opponent. I silently closed my eyes and took a deep breath before looking at him again, my mask was in place.

"Ara, but it is you who wanted to talk with me, not other way around"

"How could you?" this time it was Reito's mother.

She was around the same size as me, with long brown hair put into bump and purple eyes just like Reito's. Usually she is a very cheerful person and would always welcome me with a smile. Obviously it wasn't the case today, she was on the edge of crying and it actually pained to see her on the edge of tears.

"I have already explained myself to Reito" I answered calmly.

"It doesn't make situation any better!" his father shot up and bodyguards were about to take action but seeing my gaze they stepped back. If Mr. Kanzaki were to slap me, I will accept it since I did deserve it. Being left behind at the altar is the worst thing to experience, I would never want to be in Reito's shoes and that made this whole mess even more unbearable.

"I know," I lowered my head in apology "and I'm sorry" I whispered quiet enough for them to hear. I really meant it and decided that my usual mask would be an even bigger insult for them so I decided to try be myself at least for a moment.

"Your apologizes won't make Reito hurt less" Mrs Kanzaki sobbed "he did everything for you. You were his world and then you go and dump him like he was nothing!" she sobbed harder "He is totally depressed and had locked himself up in his small apartment."

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before talking again, I tried to put as many emotions as possible into my face expression, especially into my eyes "Kanin-na... but I had to do it. If I didn't, our relationships would not end up well." Before they could say anything, I raised my hand to hush them and then continued "A lot of things have happened the last few months and they had a lot of control in my life. I don't want to go into details but they had more influence than I could imagine and breaking up with Reito had to be done in order not to hurt him more in the future. I know that breaking up in the middle of the wedding is the worst case scenario and that I would probably be even more heartbroken than him but I couldn't do it sooner. I wasn't sure if that decision would be right" I tried to explain and make them understand without having to go into details "Your son Reito is the best guy I have ever met, whoever he will merry will be the happiest girl on earth. Sadly that girl is not me" I closed my eyes for another time, trying to organize my thoughts "However," I looked at Reito's parents one more time "I do not regret our relationships and will always treasure our memories together. Even though I can't be Reito's light any longer, I sincerely wish for him to be happy and find the right person... a person who will love him dearly, will respect him..." Natsuki's face flashed in front of my eyes and I knew exactly what to say next. I sadly smiled and continued "and will be willing to sacrifice everything just to make him happy" and without realizing it, a lonely tear started to drip down my face.

Reito's parents remained quiet and so did I. I had nothing else to say and would patiently wait for some kind of reply, even if I won't like it. However, I didn't lie even once just now. I really did and still do care about Reito and it pains each time I remember his broken expression. I do agree that I had to discuss it with Reito somehow before the wedding but... I'll just admit the fact that I was an idiot.

After a long pause, Mr Kanzaki whispered something to his wife and after some whispering with each other he finally spoke:

"I cannot forgive you for what you did" I lowered my head, the answer was expected and justful "However," he continued and I faced him once again "even though you broke up with my son at the worst time, I can hear sincerity in your words as well as see it in your eyes. You are not lying and I can see that you still care about him. I will not intrude anymore but will still take my guess... have you fallen for someone else?"

There was no point lying now and so I answered "Yes"

I could see them tense, despise that Mr Kanzaki's voice was still steady "Then I have one more question... did you have an affair with that someone else while being still with Reito?"

"If by affair you mean anything more than a small kiss, then no" I answered firmly. I know that it isn't the answer they wanted to hear but that was the truth and definitely not the worst one.

"I see..." was a simple reply. They sat several more moments before slowly getting up "We will take our leave now"

"I'll walk you till the door" I suggested but they refused.

When they were gone, I took a deep breath in and slammed into the chair. For unknown reasons I felt very tired. A maid had entered short after, asking if I wanted something.

"Peace..." I whispered quietly, maid had to concentrate in order to hear me "I just want to stay alone..."

"As you wish" answered the maid and closed the doors behind her.

For the first time in several days I could actually be on my own without being stressed by anyone. My mind started to go wild, trying to find solution to my problem. I thought that it would be easy to come up with something good but once I started to think about it, it happened to be more complicated than I have expected.

No matter what I thought of, the idea simply didn't work for one or another reason. Mostly because those ideas were already denied in the past. I tried to twist them around, to try to look at them from different angle yet nothing useful ever came up. Just when I thought that I have finally found it, I would instantly find a fault. I've spent about two hours trying to come up with something but nothing came. Soon the servants started to come in, informing me about dinner. I wasn't hungry. Nevertheless, I still joined my family at the table. I didn't want to hear another lecture from them. Once I was done, I went back to my room to concentrate some more but eventually gave up and decided to take a break. Hoping that tomorrow my head would be brighter.

* * *

The fifth day had arrived sooner than I expected. I did get up earlier, trying to concentrate again but still nothing. After several failures I decided to change the surroundings and picked up the phone. The idea was that if I can't come up with anything then maybe someone will inspire one. The best choice to talk to was Mai. For one she is always willing to help, she is carrying and in addition to all of that she was a hopeless romantic. However, what took higher priority was the fact that Mai went through similar situation as me, she also broke up with Reito because she fell for someone else. Of course our cases were also VERY different since Tate was not a ghost and not someone she had suddenly forgotten and then remembered. Despite all that, Mai fitted perfectly.

Mai was surprised to get a phone call from me, especially after what happened at the wedding but did agree to meet with me at the cafe. Thanking her for agreeing, I started to get ready. I had a quick breakfast and before anyone could say anything, I drove out. I happened to come a bit sooner than Mai so I decided to take a cup of tea. I must admit that tea was not the best here and made me wish to replace the place of meeting with a tea house. Luckily, Mai had come ten minutes later. She looked enthusiastic and worried at the same time.

"Hello, Shizuru" she greeted and sat on the opposite chair "How are you?"

"I'm fine, thank you" I smiled politely.

"What is it that you wanted to talk about with me?" she enquired curiously.

I sighed and lowered the cup on the table before taking a more serious tone "I need your help"

"Uh... yeh, sure. What can I do for you?" she looked a bit surprised and unsure.

"Mai, you and I happened to be in slightly similar situation... We both have left Reito for someone else and..."

"So that's why you left him?" Mai exclaimed out loud but realized her mistake and closed her mouth with a hand while looking around. She did manage to get some peoples' attention but soon they went back to their original tasks "I'm sorry" she whispered quietly, red colour of shame could be registered on her cheeks.

"As I was saying," I continued "We both abandoned Reito for someone else only my case is worse. I actually left him near the alter and I don't think I'll ever be forgiven"

"But you always looked so close and happy together, I can't believe that you have found someone who would make you even happier"

"Yeh" I smiled sadly "there happened to be someone even more amazing than him"

"Do I know him?" Mai looked fascinated.

"You... might..." I hesitated with the answer. After all she and Natsuki used to be best friends, it is sad to know that Natsuki had lost all of it because of me _'I really am a monster'_.

"How does he look?" she continued to question.

"That doesn't matter right now" I tried to get back on topic.

"Oh, sorry" she flushed in embarrassment for a second time.

"That's fine. The reason I called you here is because I want to hear your thoughts on something.

"What is it?"

"You see, that person will be forced to leave the country if I won't be able to come up with any good idea of how to make us stay together. I've been thinking a lot about it yet haven't come up with anything good. So I was hoping that you might have some ideas" I tried to make up a story that would be at least a bit similar to my real problem. After all I couldn't tell her that I plan to date a ghost of my past lover who is being forced to return back to heaven because God is displeased... she would instantly send me to a mad house.

"Well... the information you have given is limited but it doesn't look like you plan to give any more details" she tried to somehow get more information out of me.

"Sadly there is nothing else I can say" since that's as far as my lie can go.

"Well, you could always try to talk to those people who want him back and make them change their mind" she suggested.

"We already tried, sadly higher ups are very hard headed" I glared at the sky and was sure that God was watching me right now, displeased.

"How about running away together? Somewhere very far."

"With my family status, I would be found in no time"

"That's true" she started to rub her head, trying to think of something else "It reminds me of Romeo and Juliet, they also couldn't be together"

"Though they were able to reunite in afterlife" I reminded her.

"Yeh" she smiled for a moment before her face paled and eyes widened in shock "don't tell me that..." her voice shook and before I could realize what is happening, she grabbed me by the hands "Don't do it Shizuru!" I looked puzzled "Death is not an answer!" finally I understood what got into her and chuckled "I'm serious Shizuru! Don't you dare to lay hands on yourself or I will never forgive myself!

"Don't worry" I slightly squeezed her hands in return and gave her a reassuring smile "I won't do that"

Mai sighed in relief, colour started to get back to her skin "Don't scare me like that" she let go of me, my smile widened. It is good to know that someone cares about you and does not plan to lecture "I really thought that you were about to follow that idea" I kept smiling at her "For a friend to die because of me, that would be horrible even if it was fake. I could not stand it especially after everything that happened during carnival"

My eyes widened and smile dropped "Fake?"

"Huh?" Mai looked confused "Oh that! Sorry, it's just that Tate had bought a new action movie yesterday and there one guy had made his enemies and friends believe that he died while conspiring against them. I just remembered the scene and..."

"You are a genius, Mai!" I jumped on my feet and was sure that I had the widest smile ever "How come it never crossed my mind? And it is such a simple idea! I feel really stupid now"

Mai looked perplexed but soon she started to understand my mumbling and jumped on her feet as well "Wait a moment! Are you saying that..."

"Yes Mai" I interrupted her "I will make everyone believe that I'm dead and then will run away"

"You can't do that! What about your family and friends? They will be heartbroken!"

"And would it be better if I just ran away?"

"At least they would know that you are alive but like this... that's cruel!"

"It is not me who is cruel, but the world"

"And how do you plan to do it? I'm pretty sure that you are being watched now after the wedding incident"

Mai was right, I have totally forgotten about the tail that my parents had sent after me. They were watching my each step and if I tried hard enough I could spot them and... ah, there is one! Sitting in the furthest corner and sipping tea while reading a newspaper, so obvious. At least they were not listening to my conversations. I already started to lose hope when I remembered something... _'Reito... he has almost as big connections as me'_.

"There is a way" I stated and was about to leave.

"Shizuru!" Mai pleaded.

I faced her one more time "Mai, promise me that you won't tell the truth to anyone. And by anyone I mean everyone without any exceptions"

"But..."

"Onegai, Mai" I pleaded "Otherwise I will die mentally"

Mai firmly stared me in the eyes, searching for something, for anything that would allow her to stop me. Eventually she sighed in defeat "I understand... I think... I never was put into situation where I want to run away but after watching and reading so many romances, I can comprehend where you are coming from" she rose her head to look at me again "Take care, Shizuru" and hugged me with full might, I returned it with same force.

"Ookini, Mai"

She sobbed slightly into my shoulder "Send me a card if you can"

"Sure" I rubbed her back, tears started to gather in the corners of my eyes as well. Natsuki is the dearest person for me, but I still will miss my friends who made my life so much better "Everything will be fine, now compose yourself. You don't want to make them more suspicious then they already are" I nodded into the direction of my personal stalker.

"Yeh" she said weakly and wiped off the tears before letting me go and smiling brightly "Talk to you soon then!" she waved and started to head back.

I played along "Next time we will have a proper tea party!" I waved as well.

"That's a promise" she shouted in return before disappearing from my view.

I stood for several more moments, staring at the place where Mai was standing not so long ago. I closed my eyes for several seconds and then moved forward. Before I would put my plan to action, I had to confirm it. In order to do that I had to lose the tail for some time and the best place to do that would be toilet. Taking a deep breath, I headed to the cafe's bathroom. When inside, I took out my mobile phone and tried to imitate a phone call.

"I know you can hear me so be kind enough to answer"

"Looks like you have come up with something!" I heard God's voice above my head yet did not look up.

"So what do you think?"

"You are going to hurt the people closest to you"

"I know, but it is better than actual... thing" I tried to keep secrecy, after all God heard everything anyway so he must know what I'm talking about.

"True but..."

"I had to find a solution that would allow me and Natsuki to be satisfied. Does Natsuki disapprove this idea?"

"No"

"Then I don't see the problem"

"Fine" I heard him sigh "However, I will let you two meet again only after I will see that your plan actually works"

"But you said..."

"Your idea has a risk" he interrupted me "I need guarantees. If it does not work, you will have to wait until your time comes in order to reunite again in heaven"

I was really frustrated by this but decided not to get on His bad side and just go along "Do not worry, I will not fail" and hang up. God got the message and left.

"There is no way I will fail..."

* * *

It was already getting dark yet here I am, standing in front of a Reito's door. I stood there for several moments, not daring to move. I already felt horrible for what I did and seeing him again would not make it better. But I had to apologize and I need his help. Without him, my plan will fail. I could only hope and pray for him to agree to help me. Though knowing what kind of God we have, prayers won't help much.

After long wait I finally gathered my courage and knocked. No response came so I had to knock again yet still nothing. _'Maybe he is not here... no, he has to. His parents said that he didn't leave his flat since our break up' _I gulped and spoke up:

"Reito... do you hear me? It's me, Shizuru" at first there was no response and I was about to give up when I heard some noises behind the door and soon I heard the lock click. Slowly the door opened, I gasped. I could see Reito through the small crack and my heart sank. He looked worse than I expected. His eyes looked tired and he had dark bags under his eyes. The hair was all messy and beard had grown, he looked like an alcoholic. Actually he might have been drinking these past days, trying to kill his sorrow. My heart cried in sorrow, pity and self loathing.

"Shizuru," he whispered weakly, so weakly that I could barely make out the sound "did you come to hurt me some more?" that did it for me, the last time I felt so bad was after the carnival when I realized what I had done.

"Reito I...!

"If that's the case then leave" he was about to shut the door but I squeezed my foot through.

"No, never! I could not hurt you again, especially intentionally" tears started to form in my eyes.

That must have shocked him because his expression had changed into surprise for a moment before turning into a scowl "Then what is it?"

"I need your help"

"Help? Help?" he rose his voice "You left me at the altar and now you are asking for my help? And where were you when I needed YOUR help!" he was almost shouting now.

"I'm sorry" I bowed deeply, not carrying about my pride right now. It had no place here "I'm really sorry for leaving you back then. I'm sorry for destroying your trust. I'm sorry for breaking your heart. I'm sorry for showing my face again when you clearly don't want to see it. I'm sorry for asking for your help since I do not deserve your kindness that you had given to me all this time. And I'm sorry for looking so pathetic right now but if you won't help me, I will die inside and only empty shell will be left. I know that you probably don't care anymore about what will happen to me but I promise to repay you whenever I can" I apologized and asked for help, getting lower with each 'sorry' until I was already kneeling with my forehead on the ground. I didn't dare to look him in the eyes.

Silence had fallen upon us and I waited patiently for his response, praying for his understanding and maybe at least a bit of forgiveness which I probably won't get.

"What are you doing?" he finally spoke, his voice seemed to have more life now "This is so not like you. You were always a pride woman"

"Pride has no place when it comes to sincerity"

"Please get up" he begged and I obeyed, slowly rising back on my feet "You win" he sighed "I will listen to your request but in return I want to hear full truth, no matter how crazy it may sound"

"Deal" I agreed without hesitation. He opened the door wider and I was able to enter his flat. A lot of empty bottles were lying around and some furniture was destroyed.

"I..." he was about to apologize for the mess but I stopped him and smiled.

"That's fine"

I had spent about an hour trying to tell him everything that happened since Natsuki's death. His expression didn't change even once during my story. He would quietly listen without asking a single question. I was grateful for that because it would be harder to concentrate on what I have to say. In return I tried to explain everything as clearly as I could. I had finished my tail with our break up and then waited for his response. He remained silent again, probably processing all the information_ 'He probably thinks that I'm crazy'. _Time ticked, I could hear arrows moving on his huge clock which glass was cracked. I was getting impatient yet I didn't rush him. About ten minutes passed before he finally spoke.

"Your story sounds unbelievable" was his short response, I lowered my head in defeat.

"I see, I'll better go then" I was about to stand up when he grabbed me by the hand. The action had surprised me and I looked directly into his eyes which were piercing through my soul with its stare.

"Despite that, I do believe you"

Surprise is not enough of a big word to describe how stunned I was, I never expected him to believe me. _'Is he mocking me?' _I began to search his eyes, searching for something that would give out his lie but I didn't find anything, he wasn't lying. Sensing my surprise he gently smiled at me, it was the first time I saw him smiling again after the break up, he seemed to be alive again.

"You were never a liar, Shizuru. And after carnival, it is a bit hard not to believe in miracles"

"Reito..."

"Besides now, after you told me everything, I'm having some blurry visions of some scenes that I don't remember yet they feel familiar. Blue hair is popping up as well" he chuckled a bit.

There are no words to describe how revealed I felt when I heard his soft laugh again, it felt like a huge stone was lifted off my chest. However, huger one still remained and in order to be fully free, it had to be removed.

"I'm still depressed about you abandoning me, the living, and going after your dead lover instead. It actually sounds wrong when I say it like that"

"Yeh..."

"But I want you to be happy" he took my hands in his and softly rubbed them with his thumbs "A heartbroken, depressed Shizuru is not something I want to witness again" he placed a small kiss on each of my hands "What is it you want me to do?"

"I know that idea will sound stupid, Mai really disapproved of it but I want..." I took a small pause, trying to get my thoughts together "I want to make everyone believe that I'm dead" Reito clearly did not expect such answer "I want you to help me with that, to help me create new identity, move out of the country and create a believable death scene in which everyone would believe" another pause before Reito spoke up.

"Do you realize what you are asking for?"

"Yes, fully. I know how hard it will be on people close to me and how hard it will be to prepare everything, but it is the only solution"

"Shizuru..."

"Please do not try to talk me out of this" I said firmly and took my hands back from his "If you cannot do this, say it now"

"I can" he said instantly "But... your family? Friends?"

"I will miss them a lot but I will miss Natsuki even more, especially after we got reunited again and I know that we have a chance"

"I see..." he stood up "Ok Shizuru, I promise to do everything in my power to help you. I will send a messenger to you when things will be arranged. Though don't expect everything to be ready instantly"

"I understand" I got up and went back to the door. Before leaving, I quickly turned around and placed a small kiss on his cheek "Thank you" and left.

* * *

Mini Feed:

Natsuki: Hey! Why wasn't I included in this chapter?

Bad One: You are too much of emo now.

Natsuki: But it is you who made me like this!

Bad One: Whoops! –looks all innocent-

Natsuki: I'll kill you!

Bad One: Nah ah! – about to press delete button- without me you will never be together with Shizuru again.

Natsuki: Damn you!

Bad One: Hehe.

Shizuru: Never together? –looks shocked- Can't allow that! –about to attack-

Bad One: Bad Shizuru, bad! I have a hostage here and...

BAM!

Shizuru: Look Natsuki! I have saved our future! –shows an empty word document-

Natsuki: I think you have almost killed it – looks at what is left of me-

Bad One: H-help...

* * *

So how was it? Any good or disappointed? Hopefully mini feed is still good too. Please review, they make me all fired up!


	20. Goodbyes

Hello everyone! As promised the new chapter is here. This is the last official chapetr, only Epilogue is left now. I hope you will like the finall idea of this story. I must admit that I had around 6 endings planned out by now but I would eventually change story around in previouse chapters and ending had to change as well. At one point I planned to leave it open and make you choose the final path but I doubted that you would accept it. This is the last idea for the ending and I hope that you will like it.

* * *

Chapter 20

Goodbyes

Almost a week had passed since I saw Reito last. I did not contact him even once since and so didn't he. I decided to give him freedom and not bother more than I have already. It was already a miracle to know that he is willing to help me in such, I would say, cruel plan and that he is still willing to talk to me after everything I had done. I still was amazed by the fact that be trusted me despite how mindboggling my story sounded. I myself would have doubts if someone were to tell me something like this. Yet here he was, putting all his trust in my words.

Who knows, maybe in reality he thinks that I'm totally crazy and is just playing along but at least he decided to do something, instead of locking me up. I heard that after our meeting, Reito seemed to become livelier again and was coming out. However, he still was avoiding majority of people, being constantly busy with something. Despite that, his family and friends were happy to see him finally out of his apartment, they had hope now and decided to let him be for now. They didn't want to pressure him.

The time was really dragging for me. I was constantly on the edge, thinking that my plan had failed and that nothing will come out of it. Nevertheless, I tried to calm myself saying that if things had failed, Reito would inform me. He would not leave me hanging after he gave the promise to help. During whole week I couldn't find peace and just kept pacing back and forth. My parents started to get suspicious about my behaviour so I had to put my emotions under control all over again. The last few days I was mostly calm, trying to do the usual stuff. I had a huge urge to make a party so I could see everyone one more time before I were to leave but decided against it. I didn't have any real purpose to call them over and it might be wary. Besides, after saying my goodbyes to Mai, it would be weird to see her again and I was sure that she thought the same way given that she didn't call me even once after our last meeting.

What I had decided to do was to meet everyone separately under one or another excuse. Some of them were surprised by my call. Nao was probably the most stunned. Even though our relationship had improved over the years, we still were not so close. Despite not talking to Nao much, I still sympathized with her. As Natsuki once said, they are similar. Even though Nao was more of a tease and flirt, she also used to be a lonely soul. However, she started to become more cheerful and friendly from the day her mother had awakened. On top of it all, she was fun to tease too. Nonetheless, she would always try to get back on me and eventually we would end up in a word play. People around us usually thought that we were arguing but that was not the case, at least for me. It was always good to talk to someone with sharp tongue. I'm sure Nao also enjoyed it at some point.

It took several seconds before she picked up the phone:

"Nao on the phone" I heard her annoyed voice.

"Ara, someone sounds moody" I answered happily.

A small pause before Nao spoke once more. She clearly was surprised by my call "Shizuru? Why the heck are you calling me?"

"Mou, is Nao-san not happy to hear me?"

"Why should I? You have the most annoying accent I have ever heard!"

"Nao is so mean" I started to sob.

"Like hell I'm going to fall for that!"

"Sniff sniff, sob sob" I kept pretending, eventually it started to have effect.

"Oi come on! I know you are faking so stop it now"

"Sob sob"

"Hey, I'm going to hang up on you if you don't stop now!" she warned.

"Everyone is so mean to me lately"

"Well no wonder, Sherlock. After all you have abandoned your fiancé at the altar" I cringed at that, I didn't want to go through that topic again "But it was the best part of the wedding so I can't complain much" I could feel her smirking.

I couldn't help but smile, it was so like her "Anyway, what exactly did you want from me?"

"Ara, is there something wrong for me to call you?"

"Yes" was her short reply.

"I was just bored and decided that it would be a good thing to tease someone a bit, you were the perfect choice!"

"What?" she sounded angry at the moment "Am I some plaything to you?"

"Hai" I answered sweetly.

"Fuck you!" she hung up on me.

"I love you too" I replied to a beeping sound on the other end, my mood instantly got brighter.

It was refreshing to talk to someone like her who didn't give a damn about morals, she really is unique one. Though, Nao could never replace Natsuki's reactions which still were my favourite.

For these last two weeks, I couldn't find peace. I wanted to hear Natsuki's voice so much, to see her beautiful face, to make sure that she is still around. God really is cruel for doing this to us. But I had to be strong, after all He did promise that I would be able to see Natsuki again, I just had to be patient. For Natsuki's sake, I will do everything in my power.

The next one I called was Haruka, who sounded as bossy as ever. She also was surprised by my call yet when I said that I have some business talk, she seemed to be all fired up. We had met with her on the second day, she came together with Yukino. At first she gave me a huge lecture about my break up with Reito, she was blabbering for hours. Good thing tea was good here. It helped me to ignore her for the biggest part. However, I still was happy to see her. It is hard to admit it, but I'm sure that I will miss her bossiness. Once she was done, we started to talk about my family business since she was working at our company. I basically had entrusted her with all of my work which she gladly agreed to do as usual. It was not the first time I had left all my work on her though this time I decided to share some bigger information with her which would help her to lead company in the future. She obviously didn't catch on but Yukino looked suspiciously at me, she always was a bright one. Once Haruka left to the bathroom, Yukino spoke up:

"A-are you sure about this?"

"Haruka-san was always dependable and I don't feel like doing any work right now" I smiled innocently at her.

"I-I see" she did not ask any more questions.

Like this I have met with everyone I could get a hold of and the last people on my list were Midori and Youko. I left them for the end because of how much they love drinking and partying, I thought it would be a good chance to relax a bit for upcoming mission. I took my time to find a rare history book and promised it as a present to Midori who was more than happy and instantly dragged me and Youko into the bar to celebrate increase in her collection. I did not hold back that night and tried to drink as much as possible. We were totally wasted and did the craziest things like for example dancing at the bar stand and... I don't remember the rest. I still had some sense though, so I did not strip. From what I remember, we went for a walk, holding each other by the arm in order not to fall. Eventually we created a living wall that was swaying from side to side. Cars and people had to go miles around us just not to hit into us. In the long run, we ended up in a park. We sat on a bench, finishing bottles of bear.

"I didn't have so much fun in a loooooooooooong while!" Midori stated.

"Me too" I admitted.

"What've Eek! Gotten into you?" asked Youko.

"Well after all the stress from my Eek, breakup. I thought it would be good to Eek, relax a bit"

"Makes sense" Midori lowered her head on my shoulder, smiling like an idiot.

The rest of the time we were singing weird songs that came up to our mind, mostly it was Midori who sang out loud. She was so loud that police came to take us away but when they saw my documents, they backed away asking us to be quiet. Midori didn't want to shut up but soon fell asleep, me and Youko along with her. It was the first time I have woken in a park.

Youko and Midori felt really bad and soon left, having huge head aces. I was totally fine, like if nothing happened. Midori was so jealous on what Youko simply said 'youth'. Midori protested claiming that she still is seventeen. Youko obviously didn't buy that.

Despite my good health, I knew that I looked messy but I didn't care and headed back home like nothing happened. People were whispering behind my back what made me grin, people never looked like that at me before and I kind of liked the new experience.

Parents were waiting for me at home, and they were not happy. They tried to lecture me but I didn't listen, I was still processing what had happened last night. I was thankful that I kept my sense and most of the memories. I wouldn't want to anger Natsuki and it would have been a total waste if I had forgotten everything. Thankfully none of that happened and memories of last night allowed me to sit through several hour long lecture.

* * *

Next day I was getting out of ideas and already started to feel stupid for seeing everyone like that, what if nothing will work? What if Reito had failed? So many negative thoughts were crowding my already tired mind. I was getting depressed and losing hope.

It was a nice day today and I've decided to take a small walk around our garden. The flowers were blooming in full might, creating a pleasant aroma. I took a sit on one of the benches and was thinking about taking a nap when a pidgin landed next to me. I looked at it and carefully straightened up. It was cheerfully sitting on a bench next to me, I smiled at it.

"Ara, looks like I'm not the only one admiring this garden today" I looked at it sweetly and suddenly noticed something tied up to pidgin's leg. '_Could it be..?'_ slowly I reached out to it, pidgin didn't even budge and soon I was holding it in my hands "Good boy" I complimented it and carefully untied the piece of paper from its leg before letting it fly away.

I really wanted to read the message but decided against it. I was not spied anymore, parents decided that it was safe to leave me be again. However, you can never be hundred percent sure. I tightly clenched the note and put it into my pocket. I was not able to fall asleep, my mind constantly wondered about the notes content. I gave up on nap idea and decided to simply sit for a while before heading back to my room. I made sure that no one is around and carefully opened the note, it had only few words written: _'Your cottage, tomorrow night'. _

I squeezed the note again, feeling relieved. I was really scared to open it at first, fearing to find failure written there. But looks like things are going smoothly and my plan will be soon put in action. Looks like someone will be waiting for me tomorrow in my private cottage that parents gave me as a birthday present for my eighteenth birthday. The cottage was in a different city near the sea, it would take me several hours to get there by car.

I stood up and went downstairs. We usually had candles burning on the dining table and so I headed there. The candles were not burning but lighters were lying nearby. Making sure that no one is looking; I switched the lighter on and carefully burned the note. I did not want to leave any evidence behind. When I was done, I made my way to the living room where my parents would usually be when they had day off. As I predicted, my father was sitting on a coach and reading newspaper while my mother practised violin, she was really good at it and used to be my personal teacher when I was a kid. I tried to step louder so they would hear me approaching. My mother instantly stopped playing, they both looked surprised to see me. I rarely ever joined them here.

"Is something the matter, Shizuru?" she asked in her Kyoto dialect.

"I was just thinking" I took a sit in a chair "I don't have much to do around here and thought that maybe I could go for several day holiday to my cottage. I think it would be refreshing for me to change surroundings. I feel really tired and stressed lately"

"I don't mind" answered father while still reading "I'll ask Sousuke to take you there"

Sousuke was our personal driver and I didn't need extra pair of eyes and ears "That's fine, I can drive there on my own"

"Are you sure?" my father looked at me from the corner of his eyes.

"Hai, I just want to stay alone for a bit"

"I see" he said slowly "As you wish then" and went back to his newspaper.

"But dear..." my mother tried to protest.

"Shizuru is right, she does need some privacy so she could organize her thoughts, am I right?" he glanced at me again.

"Fully" I bowed head in approval.

"Then that's decided" back to reading "When do you plan to go there?"

"I was thinking about tomorrow morning"

"I see... ask someone to help you packing"

"There is no need for that, I can do it myself. Besides I don't plan to take too much stuff with me"

"Understandable"

"I will take my leave then"

"Bye"

"Goodbye dear, see you at the dinner" said my mother.

"Yes" I agreed and went back to my room.

Things went much smoother than I expected and was very pleased with that but also suspicious. I tried to keep calm while going back and not act out of ordinary. When inside, I swiftly packed the most necessary items and sat into a chair, looking out of the window.

"Soon, Natsuki... Soon we will be together again"

* * *

The next day I left quiet early, I was very impatient and wanted to get to the place as soon as possible even though no one would be there yet. I wanted to ensure the safety of my cottage. I didn't need for anyone to see what is happening inside. It was a five hour drive, my servants at the cottage happily greeted me. They were always taking care of my house when I was alone and they always did well. I happily greeted them but had to ask them to leave. They looked surprised at first but when I said that I want some privacy and simply have some time for myself, they understood and left to their own houses, saying that they will wait for my call.

Soon the house was fully empty and only I was left. I looked out of the window, making sure that no one was sent to look after me and thankfully I did not see anyone. Despite that I decided to ensure it one more time and went for a walk on the beach. It is a huge beach and many people come here each year for vacations. It was always loud and busy around but my cottage was build further away from crowded places so I wouldn't be bothered much by tourists. It was not an exception today and so I went towards the crowd, if I were to have a tail, it would stand out among the crowd because of usual black suits. Besides I could take a small break too. I was lying in a sun, sunbathing and swimming, occasionally scanning the area. None of the guards were found and I decided to fully relax now.

The sun was already setting and it was time to go back, soon I would be free to do whatever I want and would be able to meet Natsuki. I locked the door and decided to have a cup of tea while I still had time. While the kettle was boiling, I closed all the curtains in case if someone were to pass by. The kettle whistled and I poured the hot water into my cup. I sniffed the tea and sighed in relaxation, sitting behind my kitchen table.

"Mmmm, a berry tea" I heard someone's voice from behind and smiled "Do you mind if I join?"

"Ara, since when did you learn to sneak on people," I turned around "Reito..."

Just as I guessed, Reito was standing in a doorway with folded hands. He looked much better since I last saw him. His face got its colour back and hair was neatly brushed. However, his eyes looked tired and he still had small bags under them. His messy beard was gone, just a bit was left around his mouth and chin making him look slightly different. He smiled and came closer.

"Since you left me" I grimaced at that, he chuckled "Don't worry, it is fine now"

He was clearly lying but I did not want to touch this topic again, it still made my stomach turn into knots.

"Have you decided to change your looks?" I asked and walked to the kettle again, to make a cup of tea for him.

"Don't you like it?"

"It looks a bit weird" I admitted.

He chuckled again "Everyone says that but I thought that since my life has to start from the beginning, I could make some changes. My appearance seemed to be a good start" he said quietly, looking down. His eyes looked sad.

"I see" I offered him the cup.

"Thanks"

The next ten minutes we spent in total silence, slowly drinking our teas. None of us seemed to want to talk. There actually wasn't much to say. I was almost done when I decided to speak again.

"I'm sure that you didn't call me here just for tea drinking"

He lowered his cup "Your death is going to happen today" he said firmly and looked up into my eyes.

I must admit I was surprised. I did expect him to bring good news but I didn't think that it would happen so soon and especially today. He must have seen my surprise since his next words were "Have you changed your mind?"

"No, of course not" I answered instantly "I just didn't expect it to be today. How am I going to 'die'"?

"You are going to burn together with this cottage. I thought that you would not need it anyway"

"Ara, I really like this place" I pouted at him.

"Do you want to delay it?"

"No"

"Then it is decided"

I still had one more question and was hesitant to ask it but it had to be asked "Reito... what about the body?" from the beginning, this question would not let me be. My parents would not calm down until they would see my body and I didn't want to sacrifice anyone either.

"Do not worry" he stood up "The biggest part of the time was taken so I could find one and I did"

"And... who is it?"

"It is a young girl of similar size like you. She has the same blood type too. She was hit by electricity and died. She is a perfect replacement for you since we plan to burn the house because of electricity problems"

My eyes widened, the whole thing felt way too creepy even for my taste. To burn an actual body of somebody? This felt very heartless. Not that I cared much about others during carnival, but everyone went crazy back then.

"What about her family? Won't they search for her body?"

"She was supposed to be cremated today. The damage her body had received from electric shock was very strong and body got disordered so they never opened the coffin"

"So basically her family will have an empty urn?"

"Sadly yes, I know it is cruel and I felt really bad taking her away but I could not come up with anything else"

"I see... Do you at least know her name?"

"Yamanako Naru"

I've put my palms together and lowered my head "Dear Yamanako Naru, I beg for your forgiveness and hope that you will find peace on the other side" I prayed, hoping that her soul would not be angry and depressed about what we are going to do. That sounds wrong, of course she will not be happy. I surely would not be happy in her place so all I could do was to ask for forgiveness again. I really am falling low, I lost count of how many times I had apologized lately.

"Reito, I want you to do something after everything is done" I spoke, still in the same posture.

"What is it?"

"I know that it is most likely impossible to get ashes from here to her 'grave' but could you at least let them flow in the wind towards her home?" I looked at him, my palms still put together.

He looked surprised at first but then his eyes softened "Hai"

"Ookini" I relaxed my posture "So what am I to do now?"

"You are to leave through the back door when you'll hear someone knock. Outside your cottage will be waiting a car and a blonde, English guy. He will take you to a special place where your new documents are in progress to be printed out. All that's left is your photo. However, you can't stay the way you are or you will be easily discovered. Your appearance will have to be changed. Do not worry, it is not a plastic surgery but I do hope that you will corporate with them. Sadly I cannot accompany you but do not worry, they are trust worthy people. When everything is done, you will be taken to airport from where you will fly to UK. There you will be met by my old friend who will take you to your place of living and will give you a job for survival. After that you will be left on your own since you do not want to take a risk of being discovered"

I was amazed, I really was. Reito had planned out everything till a small detail. He had covered each area, even those which had never crossed my mind. The more I listened to him the more astonished I was. What surprised me more is just how on earth did he manage to find all those people and make them corporate? He exceeded my expectations tenfold. I will not let his efforts go to waste no matter what.

"And one more thing" he took something out of his pocket "Here" and handed me a simple looking mobile phone "It has only one number written in it which is mine. If you'll ever need something, do not hesitate to contact me. If there will be any news, I'll let you know. Also, once things will calm down and stabilize, you will be able to improve your way of living However, for now you will have to live on the same level as normal people. Maybe slightly lower, I hope you understand why"

"I do" I took the phone from his hand "I do not need unnecessary attention"

"Good girl" he patted my head, smiling happily.

"Do it again and I'll hurt you" I warned him.

"Gomen" he took his hand back and looked into my glaring eyes. We stayed like that for several seconds before bursting into laughter. The whole tension that had built up till now was released. I felt more relaxed now and was grateful for that. I was already getting tired these past weeks. We calmed down two minutes later and spent another five minutes just standing in the corridor in silence, which felt comforting.

"I guess it is time to say goodbye" said Reito and walked towards exit door.

"Looks like it" I gave him a sad smile.

"Take care and I wish you luck in your hard task" he was about to leave when I grabbed him by a hand and pulled him to give a small peck on the lips. He was surprised but did not push me away, he actually welcomed it.

"Won't Natsuki be mad?" he asked smiling, still standing close to me. I could feel his warm breath on my face.

"I'm sure she'll forgive me just this once, you deserved it after all you have done for me even though you had full right to send me to hell" I chuckled.

"I did plan to do that at first" he admitted "However, it was the first time I saw you this way, so sincere and heartbroken. I could not leave you like that, it did not suit you"

"Ookini" I let go of him.

"Goodbye, Shizuru" he gave me his last smile and opened the door, heading towards his car which was parked further away. His driver was waiting patiently. I went out as well and waved him for the last time watching the departing car. Once he disappeared from my sight, I went back inside.

I had cleaned the cups and went into the living room to read a book. It was already around 2AM when I heard a knock on the back door.

"It's time" I closed the book and went to open it.

Just like Reito promised, a blonde guy with European features was waiting outside. He smiled politely at me and took off his half cap-hat.

"_Are you Fujino Shizuru?"_ he asked me politely in English.

I was surprised, Reito did not warn me about the language "_Yes_" I replied in English, good thing I studied it hard.

"_My name is Sam, I am here to escort you to your next target. Is there anything you are taking with yourself_?"

I slowly looked around but didn't find anything that I really needed "_No, I'm fine like that_"

"_Shall we go then_?"

"_And what about...?"_

"_Do not worry, everything will be taken care of once we leave_" he assured me.

"_Then I guess we can go_"

"_Please put this scarf on first and then follow me and try to be as quiet as possible_" he ordered and gave a black scarf which was big enough to hide my hair and a bit of face. Slowly we went into the forest since my back door was placed right in front of it. The forest was not big. He walked very carefully, trying to make as less noise as possible, I followed his steps. We saw someone talking somewhere in the distance and Sam quickly sat down motioning for me to do the same. A couple was having a walk not far from us. They were really engaged with each other so we quickly ran pass them. When we reached the end of the forest, I could spot a small, black car. I couldn't make the mark but it definitely wasn't a brand new one. Inside the car was waiting one more man who was Japanese. He greeted me when I got inside and moved. We've been driving for about an hour, whole way no one had spoken a word. We had stopped near some forgotten factory and I must admit that it did not give the best vibes. However, Reito said that I did not have to worry and I believed him. I didn't show any signs of fret.

Inside the factory was waiting two more Japanese guys and an English girl. They bowed a bit in greeting.

"My name is Kate, I'll be the one to take care of your appearance. Please follow me" she spoke in Japanese and guided me towards a chair near a mirror which was held by one of the guys.

"May ask what you plan to do?" I asked and took off the scarf.

"Mostly change your hairstyle, are there any restrictions? However, do keep in mind that your appearance has to change in one or another way"

"No, I trust you" I answered and sat down. I also asked to remove the mirror for now and keep my new appearance as a surprise. They obeyed and soon the girl started to work with my hair.

She started with a cut and I could see how big parts of my hair were falling down. Looks like I will have a short cut from now on. I felt a bit sad to cut it since I really like my hair and Natsuki did as well. But I did not complain, I knew from the beginning what my plan meant and my hair was a small sacrifice. After a while I started to feel a breeze of cold air run down my neck, the hair was getting shorter with each scissors click. Once she was done with cutting my hair, she went off to prepare the paint. She had painted my whole head, not leaving a spot. During all these make up session, guys were sitting in the corner and playing cards and would occasionally glance our way.

About two hours later it was finally done, but before I could see myself, Sam came over with a small box. I glanced at the box and then at him, giving him questioning look. He just nodded for me to take it. I took the box and slowly opened it. Inside it were two pairs of lenses. I did not understand why they gave them to me but when I took a closer look I saw that it had some colour shade on it.

"Your eye colour has to be changed" he spoke in Japanese this time, and I must admit that his accent is horrible "Red is a rare eye colour and stands out a lot, especially your eyes. There is something special about them"

"I understand" I nodded and took a pair out. Carefully, I placed them into my eyes. It took several seconds for me to get used to them a bit. I have never worn lenses before and it felt weird.

"And those are the clothes for you to wear" Sam said while his partner handed me a pack of clothing "You can change in there" he pointed at a small cabin.

Without any questions, I went inside to change. The clothing they gave me was definitely not from expensive shops that I'm used to. I could feel it just by touching it. What I had to wear now was a tight, blue t-shirt, normal blue jeans, pair of slightly worn out, white snickers and a white cap with boomerang drown on it. Before coming out, I ran my fingers through my hair. It was short, very short. There was barely anything I could hold on except near the roots. I sighed and went out of the booth. At least I wasn't half bald.

Everyone were sitting on the chairs and waiting for me. When they saw me, they started to look all over me. Checking if there was anything else they had to change. Deciding that it was fine like it is, Sam asked:

"Are you ready to see your new face?" I nodded in reply "Here is the mirror then" he pointed at the guy with a mirror.

I took a deep breath in, preparing myself for whatever was about to come. I knew that I would most likely not like it but it was needed and so I would accept it. I closed my eyes and gradually went forward, trying to keep it as a surprise for a while longer. After few steps I stopped and opened my eyes before turning a bit on the left... I gasped. In front of me was standing a totally different person. I took off the cap to get a better view. As I thought, my hair was really short, approximately of the same length as my pointing finger. To top it, it was purely black. What had changed my look the most though, were my eyes which were blue from this point of time.

"I'm astonished" I admitted "I can barely recognize myself now"

"That was the plan" answered Kate.

"Good, now quickly come here. We need to take a picture for the documents" ordered Sam and pointed to a further corner where equipments for photography were placed.

After taking several pictures, they told me to go to bed. My airplane was early in the morning and taking a break was a good idea. They guided me to one of the ex-offices where a bed was prepared. I thanked them and went to bed. I could not fall asleep at first, still thinking about my new look. Nevertheless, the sleep took over me soon.

* * *

Someone shook my shoulder and I slowly opened my eyes and the first thing I saw was Kate, telling me that it was time to go. I dressed and went to the public bathroom to refresh myself. When I came out, they were already ready to leave. Sam spoke to me:

"Here is the bag with your new stuff" he handed me a small back bag "And here are your new documents. From now on you are Ayama Reika" and gave me a smaller bag with documents inside "you are still Japanese" he smiled.

"Thank you" I took the offered bags.

"And I thought that you might want to keep those" and gave me two pictures. One of them was of my parents and another with all my HiME friends and Reito in it, both were from my purse that I left with my clothing in a booth.

"Can I?" I asked surprised.

"Yes"

"Ookini" I smiled widely and took the photos, hiding them inside my new purse.

"It's time to go, Souji will ride you to the airport" Sam pointed at the driver from yesterday.

"Once again, thank you everyone. You were of great help and I'm very thankful"

"_Just don't mess it up, or you'll have to hear my suckish Japanese again_" Sam said in English and smirked before lighting a cigarette.

"_Ara, God forbid that"_ I touched my lips with a palm.

Everyone burst out laughing and clapped me on a shoulder, mostly Japanese guys. Sam just made an unsatisfactory sound before turning around and walking away. However, he stopped for a second and turned his head to give me a smirk. I smiled in return and followed the driver who would take me to the airport and to my new future.

* * *

Mini feed:

Natsuki: Shizuru..? –reads the chapter- What the hell did you do to her?

Bad One: That was not me! It was her decision!

Natsuki: You are the one who made this whole mess to begin with!

Bad One: That's not me but God! –tries to run away-

Natsuki: Wait you little... –tries to catch up but loses me- Damn it!

God: Natsuki!

Natsuki: -stiffens- G-god? What are you doing here?

God: How dare you talk to the author like that? She is working hard to create this story and you show no respect to her! She has full right to wipe you out from the story forever.

Natsuki: What? You can't be serious!

God: Silence! –Keeps reading notations-

Natsuki: -displeased- Wait, what's that? –spots something behind the corner-

Bad One: So you better help her! That's an order from the God! –shouts into microphone-

Natsuki: So it was you... – hisses behind my back- so you were the God this whole time?

Bad One: -shivers- I-I can explain –backs away until someone blocks my escape path-

Shizuru: Ara, so it is because of you I had to do this to myself? –points at her new hairstyle, eye twitching-

Bad One: I...

Shizuru and Natsuki: Kiyohime! Duran!

Bad One: Life sucks...

* * *

I must admit that I felt a bit weird when writing about the body but could not come up with anything to replace it so hopefully you'll accept it. To those who are depressed about lack of ShizNat, do not worry. There still Epilogue left which has to summarize all lose ends. Wait for it!


	21. Epilogue

Here it is, the last chapter of the story! I hope everyone will be satisfied with the ending and I also want to thank you all for support and for sticking with me and the story for this last 4 years!

DISCLIAMER: Don't own the series.

* * *

Chapter 21

Epilogue

The fire at Shizuru's cottage was huge; some of the trees around got slightly burned. Reito's men ensured that fire would start in the same room as the body was placed. The biggest part of the body got burned and it was hard to tell who it was. Despite the size and blood type matching, Shizuru's parents demanded a DNA test. Reito was prepared for that and ensured that results would be replaced what had 100% confirmed Shizuru's death. The confirmation totally killed Fujinos. Her mother was crying the rivers of tears and seemed to never be able to stop.

During funerals, Reito tried to talk to her parents and somehow comfort them. Parents were grateful for his comfort and had slightly calmed down though it was not enough and Reito knew that once they would get back, another crying session would start. He would occasionally look around during funerals, crying and painful expressions were the only ones he saw. Loud sobs and crying echoed in his ears. Hundreds of people came to Shizuru's funerals among whom were family, friends, classmates, co-workers and just fans in whom Shizuru never lacked.

Reito clenched his fists, trying to act calm. Depressed and miserable feelings surrounding him were finally getting to him as well. The whole outcome happened to be harder to bear than he expected. He had to fight with whole his might just not to shut out loud, screaming that she is alright. That they don't have to worry that... he bit his lower lip and squeezed his fists even tighter, nails were painfully digging into his palms, small streams of blood started to soak through his squeezed fists. People around thought that it was because of pain of lose. At first he was abandoned by Shizuru near the altar and now she was dead, gone forever and his last hope along with her. Reito wished that it really was the case, he knew that it sounded wrong and sinisterly. However, he believed that losing her for real would be much easier to handle than keep promise of silence about her real fate.

Reito shook his head to remove all those negative ideas that were invading his exhausted mind. No matter how he felt right now. He did not regret what he did. Shizuru was everything for him and knowing that she is happy somewhere made his will stronger.

Purple eyes scanned the crowd again, mostly focusing on their school friends. Haruka was crying out loud while shouting something along "Damn you buboozuke woman! How could you just leave like that? Our rivalry is not over yet and I'll make sure that company progresses better under my pulling!". Yukino didn't even bother to correct her, crying herself.

Midori was crying like a baby, sister Yukarika prayed for her soul the whole time, tears dripping down her face. Further away from the crowd Reito spotted Nao who was standing by the tree with crossed hands. She was among the crowd at first but left soon after saying "So stupid..." However, everyone knew what she really meant. Despite having constant rivalry since carnival, Nao still got attached to Shizuru even though she would never admit it. Right now she was most likely hiding her sadness and possibly tears from hundreds pairs of eyes.

Not far from Reito stood Mai surrounded by Tate, Takumi, Akira and Mikoto. Mikoto was crying, holding onto Mai whose tears were silently rolling down her cheeks. From what Reito understood, Mai was the first person to find out about Shizuru's idea and was almost in the same shoes as him, fighting back the scream of truth that wanted to escape from her mouth. Mai felt Reito's stare and raised her eyes and looked directly into purple ones. Reito silently nodded to her, Mai answered the same way.

* * *

The Next day, Reito went to visit Shizuru's_ grave. _He wentthere after lunch knowing that her parents most likely would be there in the morning and he did not want to disturb them. There still were some people at the grave when he came. However, once his presence was noticed, they instantly left, giving him privacy. Making sure that no one was around, he lowered a white flower and sat down.

"You better be happy there and not waste all these tears"

He was about to leave when he heard footsteps. Turning around, he spotted Mai who froze when she saw him. Reito smiled politely:

"Hey..."

"Hey..." answered Mai and sat beside him, putting a flower down as well.

They sat in total silence before Reito decided to speak again:

"You do know the truth, don't you?"

She looked at me with surprised eyes "I... well... I heard just like everyone that..."

"Is it really all you know?" he interrupted her.

"I..." Mai was clearly avoiding the answer so Reito decided to be straight forward.

"I'm the one whom she came to see"

Red head's eyes widened even more but this time in realization "Don't tell me that..."

"Yes" Reito looked back at the grave "I'm the one who made this possible"

"So we are in the same shoes then" she relaxed and looked at the grave too "I gave her idea and you made it reality"

"Yes"

"What about the body then? Who was it?" she looked at him horrified.

"It is a long story but I assure you that I did not kill anyone"

"That's more than enough for me to know" another silence but not a long one "Do you know where she is then?"

"Partly... though I'm not gonna tell you the details, sorry"

"That's fine, as long as she is happy. Otherwise I will find her and make her pay for all those tears that were spent on her" Mai got a bit angry "It was so hard to keep quiet yesterday when I knew the truth. At least part of it"

"I fully understand your feelings, I was really on the edge yesterday" he looked at his palms that had small cuts on them.

"Reito..." Mai looked apologetically and took his hands in hers "It must've been even tougher for you" she rubbed her fingers over the cuts.

"I'll be fine" Reito took his hands back and got up "Sorry Mai, but I have to go now"

"That's fine" she stood up too "I was thinking about going myself"

"I'll see you later then" Reito started to walk away before he heard Mai's shout.

"If it ever will become too tough to keep quiet, feel free to talk to me"

Reito was astonished by her words at first but then smiled "Thanks, same to you!" and waved his goodbyes.

* * *

**Half a year later**

Half a year had passed since the incident and some had slowly moved on but they still held the brunette in their hearts and memories. Shizuru's parents were still devastated. However, they slowly started to get back to life. During these months they were mostly inside the house, locking themselves away from the outside world, still killed by the loss of their only child, or at Shizuru's grave.

Haruka did all in her power to keep the company working while Shizuru's parents were absent, she would not allow for it to fall apart. Yukino was always there to support her and help whenever Haruka needed her. There were times when Haruka was totally executed because of pressure and Yukino had to take over. None of them blamed Fujinos for abandoning company like that and did everything to help.

After such a long absence, Shizuru's parents finally started to go to work again. They still looked tired and weak but they couldn't allow burdening Haruka any longer who assured them that there was no problem and they could rest as long as they wanted. Fujino's smiled and thanked her but still were determined to help at least a bit. They could not allow themselves to sink in sorrow forever, Shizuru would not approve, and they had to go on no matter how hard it might be.

Investigation was going on about the case but after several careful explorations they stopped on an accident theory which parents had accepted. They were happy and sad with this information. They were glad that their daughter was not murdered by some bastard but they were shattered by the fact that God decided to take her away at such a young age.

Ex-HiMEs had several gatherings, the first one was really lonely and was mostly dedicated to Shizuru though after some thinking they decided that it would be better to spice it up since Shizuru always preferred something cheerful so eventually everyone ended in karaoke bar. However, instead of alcohol they all drank tea. Midori was very tempted to buy some beer but was always stopped by several pairs of glaring eyes and mostly Nao who was left in charge of controlling her. Nao was not happy about this duty at first but soon got into it, tormenting Midori happened to be a lot of fun.

Mai had several urges to tell everyone the truth but whenever this feeling happened, she would always talk to Reito and try to get the weight of her heart. Reito would occasionally do the same. Thankfully everyone was slowly getting over Shizuru's death and the weight of guilt was becoming lighter. They knew that it would never disappear but were grateful for being less pressured. Occasionally, Reito and Mai would bash Shizuru for her actions but in the end would always wish her all the best and hope that the sacrifice was worth it.

It was a cool day, winter was coming to an end and less dressing was needed. Reito was taking a walk dressed in a black, long coat and red scarf. His nose was slightly red from cold and beard still adored his face. He had taken a break from work today and was determined to fulfil his last promise to Shizuru. Right now he was at the beach, not far from Shizuru's cottage that was burned down. The area was closed while investigation went on and everything was mostly left the way it was originally. Half burned building stood not far from public place and some ashes still remained. The place is supposed to be cleaned in several days so Reito had to act quickly. The sun was gradually setting down when Reito reached the ruins of the house and collected some ashes into a small, glass bottle. Once done, he went up a small cliff. No one was around, Reito was the only person standing at the edge and enjoying the view. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the weak warmth of a setting sun.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" he spoke and opened his eyes to look at the bottle with ashes "I'm really sorry for what we have done to you Yamanako-san. However, you were of great help and finally I'm able to give you the freedom you had deserved long time ago" he opened the bottle and looked at the sun one more time before splashing the bottle so the ashes could fly in the wind "Rest in peace, Yamanako-san and pass my 'hi' to Shizuru. I hope she is doing well" a lonely smile crossed his face.

Reito stood at the edge until it got fully dark and only then went back to his car.

* * *

Somewhere in UK, a dark short haired girl with green eyes was also watching a sun set that day, though at a different time and different place yet still at the beach. The last half a year Shizuru spent working and trying to blend with people here. She could not hide the fact that she was a foreigner, it was way too obvious. But she was able to survive without arising any suspicion from anyone. Just as Reito promised, his friend had met her at the airport back at the time and had given her the place of living and work. The place was nothing special; to be truthful it looked scary. It had two rooms, bedroom and living room as well as a small kitchen and bathroom. Bath was quiet small but big enough to fit in it and rest a bit. Bedroom had a small single bed with slightly hard mattress which Shizuru had eventually replaced.

Walls were slightly dirty in some areas and carpet needed a good clean up. Actually whole place needed a redecoration. Shizuru did not complain when she had arrived here for the first time and accepted it the way it was. However, over time she managed to earn enough money to improve some small things that made the place look more pleasant.

Work at the factory was very hard and Shizuru could barely move the first few weeks. She did get used to it after some time and had made some friends with whom she could talk from time to time. After finally settling down, she was determined to find a better work place now and applied for several jobs. A lot of employers looked interested and promised to give her a call.

Shizuru didn't have a lot of qualifications as Ayama Reika. She mostly had only finished school and some basic business courses so finding a job with such qualifications wasn't easy.

The real problem during these months was the fact that she still didn't see Natsuki, even once nor had they talked. Shizuru was getting impatient and angry, fearing that God had lied to her and was just messing around with them. Nonetheless, He assured Shizuru that it was not a game He was playing and that if she is able to survive at least half a year like that, He will let her meet Natsuki. Because of that Shizuru was working even harder and each night would tell about her experiences and thoughts to Natsuki, whom she knew was listening. Even though Natsuki could not answer, she still kept talking to her and always with a bright smile. There was not a single night that Shizuru would not talk to Natsuki and share information with her, no matter how tired Shizuru might be. There were nights when Shizuru had fallen asleep in the middle of her talk.

Today was not an exception, Shizuru was sitting on a lonely beach and talking to a sun set, imaginining that it is Natsuki she is talking to.

"... and then we went to a cafe to have some tea. Louise had put four spoons of sugar into his cup! Ara, can you imagine that? Four spoons! We all are sure that his butt will stick together one day" Shizuru laughed lightly before becoming silent for a moment "I really am missing you, Natsuki... and am counting days on how long we are apart. But don't worry, it is almost time. Everything went smoothly during this half a year and if the God is not a lying bastard, we will be re-united soon and..."

Shizuru froze, something cold yet gentle and soothing had wrapped around her neck. Shizuru's eyes widened from surprise, this feeling was so familiar... there was no mistaking it! It was...

"You do realize that He can hear you..." a warm voice with cold wind reached Shizuru's right ear.

"Natsuki..." Shizuru breathed out quietly, her hands up, close to her neck, trying to hold the invisible arms wrapped around her neck, tears running down her cheeks.

"Shizuru..."

The coldness around Shizuru's neck started to take a form and soon two transparent arms were visible along with Natsuki's face next to Shizuru's ear and then the rest of her body.

"Natsuki!" Shizuru started to cry from happiness and hugged herself, imagining that it were Natsuki's warm arms instead.

"I'm finally here, Shziuru. You have proven yourself in God's eyes and He finally gave in. We can be together again"

"Natsuki..." tears kept pouring down from Shizuru's eyes.

They stayed like that for several moments before Shizuru had finally calmed down "I waited so long for this day..."

"I know, I listened to you every night after all. Too bad you could not hear me reply"

"I did not hear you but I somehow felt that you were there, replying to me" she smiled happily.

Natsuki smirked "Glad to hear that" then she became more serious "However, your plan was really cruel one. I can't believe that you went to such extends. I was really against it at first"

"Really?" Shizuru was surprised "But God said that you approved"

"It actually was Him who convinced me..."

"What?" Shizuru jumped from surprise.

"Yeh, I was stunned myself. But he saw how much we meant to each other and came to conclusion that it was the least horrible possibility out of all and if I were to deny it, there would be no future for us"

"I see..."

"Yamanako Naru was not very happy about how you used her body either" Shizuru stiffened "but she did accept it eventually and she finally got her peace too, Reito did as promised and let the wind take her ashes back home. She gave us her blessings"

"Reito..." Shizuru smiled warmly.

"I must say that he really won me over during this whole mess. I did held him in high regards back when you two were together since he was always nice to you but after everything he had done now, my thoughts about him had risen tenfold"

"Ara, should I get jealous?" Shizuru teased.

"I'm more worried if I was really worth all of it. Reito seems to be a much better person; I don't think that I would agree to help you if you were to abandon me like that, at least not in such a short time after break up"

"You are perfect, Natsuki. Never doubt yourself and I'm sure that you would help me if you were in his place, after all you did come for me at the carnival. You are a much kinder and gentler person than you think..."

"Shizuru..." Natsuki felt like crying at this but tried to keep cool.

Another silence fell on them before Natsuki decided to change the subject:

"I still didn't have a good look at you, mind to turn around?" Natsuki let go of Shizuru.

"Ara, if Natsuki wishes so" slowly Shizuru turned around to face her beloved.

Natsuki rubbed her chin while scanning Shizuru's new looks "You look... weird" she finally concluded.

"Ara, Natsuki is always full of compliments" Shizuru giggled.

"I really liked your hair and I'll miss your ruby eyes"

"It is already longer than it used to be" Shizuru answered and let her fingers trace her hair "and eyes problem can be always changed, when we are in private that is" she smiled.

"Good to hear that" Natsuki smiled in reply "Even though I kept seeing you every day, I still can't get used to your new looks"

"Ara, was Natsuki stalking on me? Ikezu! You are such a perv!"

"Hey!" Natsuki blushed and it instantly became warm around the area "I was just making sure that you are alright! God allowed me to go around so I also have visited everyone back home. They still miss you but are slowly getting over it, though your parents got it the hardest"

Shizuru's smile dropped "I knew that it would happen... are they feeling well?"

"They are very tired but healthy. Haruka had fully taken over the company during their absence"

"I always knew that I could rely on her" Shizuru smiled again.

"I feel sorry for Reito and Mai, not counting your parents they got it the toughest. They were on brick of spilling the truth several times but were able to keep it in. They became really good friends again after that"

"I should send them a postcard or something; we didn't contact each other even once since I left"

"Do you..." Natsuki hesitated at first "do you plan to go back one day?"

Shizuru stopped to think about it for a moment "Well I did promise Mai a tea party" Shizuru smiled sheepishly "But not yet..." she moved closer to Natsuki and tried to wrap her arms around Natsuki's neck "Not yet..." and lightly kissed her on the lips.

* * *

** THE END**

Mini Feed:

Natsuki: Woah! You finally finished it, you lazy bastard!

Bad One: Hey, it is not my fault that I had no inspiration!

Natsuki: Yeh, keep lying!

Bad One: But it is the truth... well partly –ashamed- but I did finish it! And ending is quiet positive for you two!

Shizuru: Ara, finally author-san did what had to happen LONG time ago. However, it would've been better if Natsuki came back to life.

Bad One: You are wishing for far too much!

Shiizuru: Ara, but Mashiro-san did bring us all back to life.

Bad One: Well sorry for not being a Mashiro, at least there were no monsters and killing of each other –pouting-

Natsuki: At least something positive.

Bad One: Better say your goodbyes to readers while you can

Shizuru: Ara, thank you very much for sticking with our lazy author-san and keeping encouraging and threatening her. It all finally paid off. Now if you'll excuse me, I have Natsuki to satisfy here.

Natsuki: Yeh, thanks for that and... Wait what? –looks at Shizuru-

Shizuru: Ara I can't wait any longer! –jumps on to Natsuki-

Natsuki: Aaahhh!

Bad One: Have you no shame! –closes the curtain- Well yeh, thanks everyone for your attention and reviews, they played a lot for me! And you can finally congratulate me with my first finished story! Yay! Since this story is finished, what other fics do you want me to continue? I have created a poll too! You can choose maximum two stories! See yah in the other story ;)


End file.
